I Promised
by diablosflame
Summary: The accident took you away from me, but I promised to be by your side forever, and that's where I'll be because I love you. You're the most important person in my life and I miss you every day but if there is one thing I'm sure of it's that our love will last until the end of time. That I promise you.
1. Chapter 1

"Shizuru Viola?" When the name was called a an amber haired woman stood and approached the nurse who had called her. She was tall, fair-skinned and gorgeous, when she walked she carried with her a certain enviable grace. Her eyes, however, were sunken and dark, as if one could see into the depths of the void through her face. "The doctor will see you now."

Shizuru walked slowly down the carpeted hallway, at once dreading the telling of her story, but also thrilled at finally sharing it with another person. _I've held onto this for so long, maybe now I'll be able to let it go._ She placed her hand on the doorknob to the office and froze, fear set upon her like a hungry wolf, rending her insides and leaving a cold feeling behind it. _I can't let it go, I promised._

Footsteps approached and the voice of the nurse filled her head, "Is something wrong, Ms. Viola?"

Shizuru took her hand off the knob and faced the young woman. "I'm about to go into this office and tell someone that I've never met a story that I've never told anyone and not because I want to. Tell me, if you had held on to something for twenty years, would you be so willing to give it up?"

"I don't know why you're here, but I know that I've seen a lot of people come in here with some serious problems and they all leave a bit happier. I know that if you give it a chance, that you will too."

Her smile disarmed Shizuru, all the malice she had poured onto the girl now seemed childish and absurd. She nodded gracefully and opened the door to the office. She was immediately assaulted by the smell of pine, and as she stepped into the office she knew the reason. The entire room seemed to be carved from a pine tree, from the bookshelves to the coffee table, from the odd carvings that sat upon pine shelves to the legs on the curved seat, all the way to the big desk that dominated the room and behind it sat a dark-haired man with a bald spot and beard. He stood and held out his large hand to her, "Ms. Viola, I'm doctor Alfonse Heinrich, but you can call me Al. It's nice to meet you." Shizuru shook his hand and nodded her head politely, but wordlessly. "Please, have a seat." Shizuru took a seat in a chair across the desk from the man taking in the neatness and organization of the desk, no papers were out of place, pens sat in a rather classy pen holder and his freshly polished name plaquard, **Dr. Alfonse S. Heinrich - Psychiatrist.** "I'm to understand that you are not here of your free will. That you were brought here by a Mrs. Haruka Armitage, is that correct?"

Something in the tone of his voice, perhaps the timbre or the way he always seemed to speak down to her as if she were a child, made her want to punch him in the mouth. She resolved to do that to Haruka afterwards, "Yes, she is sitting in the waiting room right now."

The doctor flashed a smile at her, "I can imagine you are irate with her over bringing you here."

Shizuru returned a darker smile, "No, you can't imagine how irate I am."

The doctor's smile immediately faded, replaced by a look of stern warning, "Shizuru, may I call you Shizuru?" She nodded her assent, "Shizuru, this is a place of peace and healing, what neither of us needs right now is anger and hostility so, for the remainder of our session and any that may follow, please try to keep your temper in check."

Shizuru settled down, if it was one thing she knew it was acting polite when the rage hit. "My apologies, doctor, it won't happen again."

The smile again, "Nothing to apologize for. Now back to the matter at hand, would you like to explain to me why Mrs. Armitage thought it best to bring you to me?"

_You mean aside from her being a meddling, gossipy bitch_. "She didn't tell you anything? I assumed that you had helped set this up."

"She explained some things over the phone, but she was rather vague and I was hoping you could clarify some of it for me. It is my understanding that she found a certain letter addressed to you that caused her some distress. After that she searched your room and found boxes of similar letters and packages that seemed to warrant her bringing you here. What I can't understand is what was so disturbing about these letters that she would send you to a therapist?"

Shizuru exhaled her trepidation at revealing her secret, "The name on the letters was Natsuki Kuga, this is what disturbed Haruka."

The doctor looked curious, "Is this Natsuki a lover of yours?" Shizuru nodded, "So she was disturbed to find you are homosexual?"

Shizuru shook her head, "No, she's known this for a long time, as have I. No, she was disturbed because Natsuki Kuga is dead, she died on April 12, 1993 in a motorcycle accident."

"So she is worried that by keeping these correspondences that you haven't let go of the past?"

Shizuru shook her head, "The letter she found was from last week."

The doctor was speechless, when he spoke again it was with a stutter. "Did she misunderstand the sender, or misread the date?"

Shizuru shook her head, "No, I recieved a letter from Natsuki last week, twenty years after her death. Explain that one to me, doctor." She spat the last word with more venom than she intended, it's meaning was lost on the man who's mind was struggling to make sense of a universe that had suddenly turned upside down and left him hanging by a thin string.

"Perhaps you are writing them to yourself, a schizophrenic episode coupled with the trauma of losing someone you loved could have caused you to take on her mannerisms in such a way."

She leaned forward and stared into his eyes, "Do I seem like a schizophrenic to you?"

Her blood red eyes frightened him like a child watching a movie that made no sense to him, while the characters jumped around on the screen his mind struggled to understand the meaning behind it all. Finding nothing he cleared his throat, "You do seem rather lucid. So have you received these letters often?"

"There's no schedule to them," Shizuru leaned back into her chair, "they have been showing up randomly over the last twenty years. Only one day am I certain to receive something, and that is February the 14."

"Valentine's day?"

Shizuru nodded, "Yes, every Valentine's day I receive a bouquet of white roses with a card that always reads, I love you, Natsuki. At first I would cry when I received it, but over the years it became a welcome reminder of something that I can never forget."

The doctor pinched his temples in thought, "I don't understand, did she set the flowers up before she died? Did she have an arrangement with some flower delivery company to deliver to you a bouquet of white roses every Valentine's day?"

"Natsuki was poor, she wouldn't have been able to afford such a thing, and the roses are sent from different companies each time. It would be impossible for her to have set this up twenty years ago."

"No, that is improbable. What is impossible is your dead lover sending you letters and flowers every Valentine's day for the last twenty years. That is impossible, Ms. Viola." Shizuru merely shrugged and produced an envelope from her jacket pocket. She handed it to the doctor who studied it carefully. "I'll be damned, it's dated two weeks ago. Of course, anyone could have written this, could someone be pranking you Shizuru?"

Shizuru produced several more letters, all dated over the past twenty years and all written in the same flowing script that would be nearly impossible to forge. "Her handwriting was rather unique, she studied penmanship very diligently. These were written by her hand and her hand alone."

His mind reeled, he was out of rationalities and left only with the cold hard facts staring him in the face. However it was being done, Natsuki Kuga was sending Shizuru Viola messages from beyond the grave. "So, can you explain why this is happening? Shed some light on the situation."

Shizuru couldn't keep the smirk off her face, "You're the doctor, you tell me."

Al looked rather perplexed, "There must be something you can tell me, something that will explain this phenomena."

Shizuru sighed, "I've never told this story to anyone before, even Haruka only knows a little of the truth. I suppose I should start at the beginning."

**Thanks for catching that error, it was not my intention.**


	2. Chapter 2

It was August 12, 1988 and I was fifteen years old, it was my freshman year in high school. Since my birthday just happened to fall on the same week that school started, August 15, I was a year older than everyone else in the class. My father was a lawyer and he had the clout to get me sent to one of the most prestigious private high schools in the area, Fuuka Academy, renowned for their academic and etiquette programs. Their motto was 'Optimum et Lucentia' or 'The Best and Brightest Stars'. They declared that anyone who was anyone had graduated from Fuuka, and anyone who graduated from Fuuka was someone.

My mom used to drive me there in her white Volvo, she would kiss me on the forehead and tell me to behave. I still remember the color of lipstick that she wore because it would leave a blush-like stain on my forehead for the rest of the day. She was a bit darker then me but that was due to her yearly vacations to Mexico and she had the same color hair that I do but I'm taller now than she was. I remember the other kids commenting on how attractive she was and how lucky I was to have her as a mom. It was years later before I understood why they said that, at the time I was angry at mom for my curfew.

It was the first day of school and she dropped me off at the curb, afterwards I climbed the long set of stairs up the hill to the main building. The main building of Fuuka Academy was built on a hill with an incline that was shallow in the rear and steep in the front. Up to the front door were a long series of steps that the faculty often referred to as the 'Ascent to Excellence' because only students ever climbed them, the visitor and faculty entrances were on the side of the building.

On this day I was walking up the Ascent for the first time with a host of other new students. The sun was high in the sky and it was warm but not overly so, the kind of day that students lament having to be in class and not outside enjoying it. I entered the main building and was directed, like all the freshmen like me, to the auditorium that was on the end of the left wing of the main building. We entered and were awed, first by the sheer size of the auditorium with comfortable seating for at least one thousand, and second by the gravitas of the ceremony.

We all took our seats, barely filling out the front row of the auditorium, and an elegant lady in a white flowing dress stepped onto the stage. We all thought she was angelic, her voice only adding fuel to our fantasies. "Optimum et Lucentia. Does anyone know what that means?"

Only one voice spoke out from amongst us, a deep voice that sounded like running your hand along velvet drapes. "It's Latin, it translates to The Best and Brightest Stars."

"Correct." To this day none of us were ever able to figure out who answered, I have my theories but nothing concrete. "The Best and Brightest Stars, that is who studies here and that is who graduates from here. When you leave this place you will be prepared for the life that awaits you." She started pacing to ensure that the next part was heard by all present. "Fuuka academy does not accept failure, as such failing grades are not given. If you should be deemed unworthy you will be expelled, no questions asked. That is the Golden Rule, all other school rules are handled by a Student Council elected by the student body and tasked with setting and upholding the school rules. Here is the current Student Council president to speak to you about those now."

The woman stepped aside and a tall senior boy stepped up, his hair was cut short and the tie on his black suit hung straight. "Thank you, Ms. Maria, I am Hiroshi Kurosawa and I am the Student Council president for this year." His voice was clear and concise, many of the girls around me swooned over him, I was left with a feeling of profound respect, though whether that was for the man or the position I am unsure. "The general rules for the school are posted in the student council room and included with your new student packet that you all will receive." As he spoke several seniors started handing out said packets to us. I nodded politely when mine was handed to me by an attractive girl with red hair in a ponytail.

"The most important rules are..." He counted on his hand as he called each out. "One, no one is allowed to leave campus before classes are let out. Two, anyone in the hallways while their class is going on must have a permit from the teacher or face academic repercussions that will lead to expulsion. Three, physical violence will not be tolerated with escalating punishments that lead to expulsion. The rest will be in your student handbook. Thank you all for your time and welcome to Fuuka academy."

I was frightened by what had been presented, it seemed the penalty for all infractions was expulsion. It was these strict policies and the self-governing student body that would eventually get Fuuka shut down in 1994, only two years after I graduated.

Ms. Maria returned to center stage now, "Everyone can spend the rest of their day getting to know their classmates. Classes will begin tomorrow for everyone so enjoy this chance now, because after today you will all be too busy studying to socialize."

She left the stage and a long table was brought out with food of all kinds, from hamburgers to caviar and everything in between. We all got up and surrounded the table, I shoved my way through having missed breakfast that morning and was poking at some kind of meat that I had a strong suspicion was raw fish when I felt a hand on my shoulder. "Hey, don't hog all the octopus."

The blonde haired girl I saw when I faced her is the same woman who is responsible for my being here. I introduced myself, "Hello, I'm Shizuru Viola."

She laughed aloud, "No need to be so formal, you can call me Haruka." I tried to shake her hand but she pulled me into a hug. "So was I the only one scared of that Ms. Maria, she's a real warden."

The girl standing next to me, slightly shorter than me but with brown hair and glasses, answered, "I'm more scared of being expelled, it seems really easy to do here." I faced her and she shrunk back a bit, "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to eavesdrop."

I reassured her, "No, it's okay, I was thinking the same thing. I'm Shizuru."

"Yukino, Yukino Kikukawa." She shook my hand before Haruka practically engulfed her in a hug, she shrieked a little earning glances from several of the people around us.

"Hi, I'm Haruka, it's nice to meet you." Afterwards Haruka practically dove into the food and I laughed at how ridiculous she looked shoveling raw fish into her mouth like she hadn't eaten in a week. I grabbed a plate and filled it with whatever was near then took a seat further back from the crowd. Haruka and Yukino sat around me and I was about to take a bite when I noticed someone was looking at me.

She was sitting by herself off to one side of the auditorium, her uniform was the same as the one we all wore, white button up shirt and black skirt, but it didn't seem to fit her well. Her hair shone bluish in the light offsetting her pale white skin and her emerald eyes were now locked with mine, asking questions of my eyes and trying to interpret the answers. I couldn't take my eyes off her, I looked away and asked Haruka, "Do you know that girl there?"

Haruka looked over but she had gotten up and walked away, "Who, I don't see anybody."

I tried to find her again in the crowd but she had all but disappeared. "Her hair was bluish and she had pale skin and broad shoulders."

"If she's here that means she's in our class so we'll see her again. The next time you see her just go up to her and ask her name."

I shuddered at the thought. _What it she blows me off? What if she laughs at me? What if she attacks me for daring to ask her name?_ The thought never occurred to me that she had been looking first, all I thought of was how it could go wrong.

After we were finished eating, Haruka, Yukino and I took a tour of the campus, checking out the pristine hallways and neat rooms with their fancy desks. Several of the classrooms were occupied by the older students who were already deep in their studies. We passed an English class in session where the students were being lectured about some Middle Eastern author we had never heard of. I couldn't shake the feeling of intimidation that I had felt since the assembly. I thought aloud, "I don't want to be expelled."

Haruka was walking right behind me and she put a hand on my shoulder to reassure me, "Do you plan to fail, because I don't. Just keep moving forward and it will all work out, that's what my father always taught me."

Yukino walked quietly behind the both of us, so I included her. "What about you, Yukino, are you scared of failing?"

Yukino nodded her head, "Yes, I don't want to let my father down. He tried so hard to get me sent here, I would hate to throw all of that away."

Haruka looked pouty, "Geez, you two are such downers. You can't let it get to you, stay focused and achieve your goal no matter what stands in your way." Words that I would remember for years after.

-IPR-

It was time to leave and I stood on the curb waiting for my mom with Haruka and Yukino who were also waiting for their rides home. A couple of older boys were standing near their cars in the parking lot when we heard one of them, a thick blonde-haired boy, call out to a girl that passed by. I looked to see who he had called out to when I noticed it was the girl whom I had seen in the auditorium, my heartbeat sped up a bit. She stopped and exchanged a few words with the boy, who started laughing with his other friends. She shouted at him and we all watched him get struck in the head and fall down to the floor shouting and bleeding from his nose. We never knew what hit him, at the time we all assumed she had some strange power, and who knows, maybe she did.

She walked by us and I tried to grab her attention, following what Haruka had said in the auditorium. "Excuse me...hel...hello."

Mentally I kicked myself for sounding like a dullard but if she thought that, she didn't show it when she looked me in the eyes again. "I saw you in the auditorium, are you a freshman too?" Her voice was stunning, not high pitched but deep and smooth like dark chocolate. It flowed from her like a mountain spring and brought feelings to me that I was too young to understand. I was left speechless, so I merely nodded my response. "You are very pretty, I love the color of your eyes. I'm Natsuki Kuga, what's your name?"

I struggled to remember in the haze that her green eyes filled me with, "It's Shizuru, Shizuru Viola."

"Shizuru." She let my name roll off her tongue, like she was tasting it to see if she liked it. She opened her mouth to speak when we heard a honk and she turned around quickly, spotted the source of the honking, a black Chrysler that had pulled up, and started to quickly walk away. She made her way to the parking lot and started up a motorcycle before leaving in a hurry.

The black Chrysler didn't seem to react, it merely pulled away and drove off in the same direction that Natsuki had just left in. Haruka looked confused, "What was that about? She just up and leaves without even noticing me and Yukino, how rude."

Yukino held a hand over her chest, "I'm glad she didn't notice me, she was kind of scary, don't you think so Shizuru?"

I watched the car drive off until it was a speck on the horizon, I didn't hear Yukino's question nor the honking of the white Volvo that had pulled up to us. All I could think about was the mysterious girl who had just left me speechless and, though I wasn't aware of it at the time, stolen my heart.

The window on the Volvo rolled down and my mom shouted at me, "Shizuru, hey Shizuru are you ready to go?" I snapped out of my thoughts and bid Haruka and Yukino a fond farewell, the former pulled me into a big hug and the latter merely waved as I got into the car and my mom pulled us out of the driveway and onto the street. "So, how was your first day, sweetie?"

I answered, "It was scary, I didn't know that it was going to be so intense."

My mom smiled at me and all the anxiety that had been building since the assembly started to melt away. She always had that effect on me, maybe it's a mom thing. "It may seem like that now, but once you've graduated and are running your own practice then you'll be thankful that they didn't let you quit. You just need to persevere and you'll be okay." That calmed me, and I spent the rest of the drive home thinking about a certain dark-haired girl who had complimented my eyes.

-IPR-

Al sat behind his desk listening intently to the story that Shizuru was telling. "So you met Natsuki in your freshman year, and she was the same age as you?"

"Actually, Natsuki started at Fuuka a year later than the rest of us, she was sixteen at the time."

"I am curious as to why, and also the significance of the black car that she ran away from."

"I will get there, but there is a lot of story to tell yet."


	3. Chapter 3

The next day was the first day of classes and I woke up with a knot in my stomach that didn't let go. I showered and dressed in my school uniform then headed downstairs where my mom had cooked eggs and bacon for breakfast. "Good morning, sweetie, are you ready for school?"

I sat at the table and took a bite of egg, "I'm really nervous and I don't want to go."

My mom started laughing, "Of course you don't, honey. Now get ready, you don't want to be late." She grabbed her keys from the counter and I finished my breakfast quickly. "So, who were those girls I saw you standing with yesterday? Are they friends?"

"The blonde girl was Haruka and the brunette was Yukino, we were talking yesterday and we took a tour of the school which was nice. They're cool, Haruka has a bit of a temper and Yukino is really shy, but I like them."

I shoveled the rest of breakfast into my mouth, and grabbed my book bag and followed mom out to the car. I still remember having to run to keep up with her because she always walked fast for some reason. "You see, you're making friends already. Pretty soon you'll be Student Council president."

I laughed, _Student Council president, yeah right. _I sometimes wonder if my mom could see the future, it seems like everything she ever said came true.

-IPR-

We pulled up to the school and my mom gave me her traditional farewell kiss on the forehead, I got out of the car and spent a full minute trying to wipe lipstick from my forehead, after that I climbed the Ascent and found my way to my home room. As I walked around the corner I saw three boys walk away laughing, when I rounded the corner I saw Yukino leaning against the locker staring into the blank wall. "Yukino, are you okay?"

"I'm okay, Shizuru."

Before I could say anything more a blonde girl stomped towards us looking angry. "What's going on here? What happened, Yukino?"

"It's nothing, Haruka."

"Nothing? That didn't look like nothing." Yukino didn't move and Haruka pulled her into a gentle embrace, I remember that clearly because Haruka didn't look like the gentle type. I would learn over the years that looks can indeed be misleading, she can be one of the scariest women I've met but she has her gentle side, a side which Yukino was always able to call out. "If you need something just ask me, okay."

More students rounded the corner and Haruka, Yukino and I entered our home room and took our seats. Haruka and Yukino were assigned seats together in the back while I sat in the front row. I set my bag down when a tall, dark-haired boy set his in the chair next to me. He looked in my direction and flashed a smile at me, "I guess we'll be home room neighbors, Reito Kanzaki."

He was handsome, that much I remember, his smile went perfectly with his blue eyes and he wore the school uniform, a white button down shirt with a black coat and black slacks, like he was born in it. "Shizuru Viola."

I held my hand out for him to shake, but he instead held it gently and planted a soft kiss on the back of my hand. I remember blushing, "Have a seat, students, it is time for us to begin." The teacher approached a podium that was set up before the class, an older woman who spoke with a grace that belied her power. "I am Yukariko Sanada and I will be your home room and etiquette teacher, a class that you are all required to master. By the time you leave this class each of you will be able to dine with royalty in ease. This will be an important skill for many of you in your chosen professions. Especially so for you, Mr. Kanzaki." She grinned and Reito reddened in embarrassment, several of the girls giggled around the room and a couple of boots came from the boys.

"Settle down, children, Reito may be a prince outside these walls, but in here you are all considered equal."

_A prince,_ I thought, _no wonder he's so dashing._

"Today we will be discussing proper speaking. If everyone can turn to page three of your textbooks." The sound if shuffling papers and books filled the classroom. "When one speaks, one should speak in a clear voice and enunciate every sound in the sentence. For example, Ms. Armitage will you read the sentence that appears on line two please?"

Haruka stood and started reading, I muttered under my breath, "Armitage, why do I know that name?"

Surprisingly Reito had heard me and answered back in a whisper, "Her father is the CEO of Armitage Arms, a major weapons manufacturer. My country has had dealings with them, they are pleasant, if not a bit blunt."

Haruka finished reading and stayed standing, waiting for Mrs. Yukariko's judgment. "Very good, Ms. Armitage, well spoken. You certainly do not lack for confidence, though you're pronunciation could use work. Other than that well done, you may sit back down." Haruka sat back down, and Mrs. Yukariko called on another student to read a line. She went in this manner through each student, critiquing each on how they spoke and how well they enunciated, until she came to Yukino. "Ms. Kikukawa, will you read the line for us please?"

Yukino stood up shakily and wiped her eyes, she started to read and, although her pronunciation was flawless, her voice barely carried to the front seats and I had to struggle to hear her. When she was done Mrs. Yukariko pronounced judgment, "You have flawless pronunciation, Ms. Kikukawa, but you need to speak louder and clearer. Have more confidence in yourself and your speaking will improve."

Yukino nodded and was going to sit back down when a small thing, a paper clip maybe, flew across the room and struck Yukino in the face. She balked and Haruka slammed her book shut, throwing it as hard as she could and hitting a boy straight in the face with it. He sat speechless at the sheer anger that emanated from the girl. "The next time you want to throw something, throw it at me."

"Ms. Armitage." Mrs. Yukariko's voice took on a hard tone and the hair on everyone's neck stood on end. " Mr. Wesley outside, now." Haruka stormed out of the room followed by a boy holding his nose, Mrs. Yukariko excused herself, "Everyone, I need to make a call, feel free to converse amongst yourselves while I do so."

Mrs. Yukariko grabbed a nearby phone and, I assume, called someone from the student council to deal with Haruka. The boys who had been sitting around him snickered and high fived, I turned to Reito and asked him, "Why would they do that?"

Reito couldn't hide the contempt in his voice, "Some small people need to make themselves feel big by stepping on those smaller than them. They are fools not to fear Armitage, she's going to hurt them if they continue."

"She is very protective of Yukino. So," I cut a sideways look at Reito, "Prince Reito, eh?"

Reito chuckled, "Like Mrs. Yukariko said, in school I'm just Reito, and you can call me whatever you like, Ms. Viola."

"You flatter me, my lord." He swiped playfully at me and we both started laughing, breaking the tension of the previous minutes. Mrs. Yukariko returned to the podium and continued the class. "Sorry for that interruption, now let us continue."

-IPR-

Lunchtime was set for one o'clock and I by the time it came around I was ready for it. On the way towards the cafeteria I looked around for a certain blue haired girl, but saw no sign of her. The cafeteria was set in the direct center of the building right next to the faculty offices, _Quite a convenience for them_ I thought.

Being an exceedingly expensive school, the food was not ordinary cafeteria food by any means. Most of what they served I couldn't even name, so I picked what looked best to me and looked around for a seat, spotting Haruka sitting by herself on a bench. Everyone sat away from the American and after her display in class I couldn't blame them. I sat down next to her, she didn't acknowledge me at first. I cleared my throat and she finally looked my way. "Oh, hey Shizuru."

"What happened?"

Haruka shrugged, "Some student council enforcer came to talk to us. We got detention, a slap on the wrist and assurance that next time the penalty will be more severe."

"Do you regret how you handled the situation?"

Haruka thought about it, "Yes, I wish I had kicked his ass."

She caught eyes with Yukino who looked away quickly and approached the table. "Haruka..."

"Are you okay, Yukino?"

Yukino nodded, "I'm sorry you got in trouble."

Haruka slammed her fist on the table causing everyone in the area to back up. Haruka stood before Yukino, and said through gritted teeth, "Don't say you're sorry, you didn't do anything wrong. He made his choice and I made mine, it's not your fault." She placed a comforting hand on Yukino's arm, and I noticed a blue-haired girl watching everything from the doors. She turned and walked out and I decided to take a risk and follow her.

I turned the corner into the hallway and she walked into a nearby bathroom. My heart pounded while my mind said this was a terrible idea. _You don't know anything about this girl, except that she rides a motorcycle and gets followed by black cars. _Even though everything in me was screaming not to go, something drew me into that bathroom.

She was waiting for me, casually leaning against the counter like she was expecting me. "Hi."

"Hi." Not exactly the encounter I had envisioned, but what had I envisioned? I would fall into her arms and she would profess her undying love for me. No, we were just two girls in a bathroom with nothing to talk about.

Natsuki smiled a crooked smile, "So, did you want something?"

The way she said want thrilled through me like a roller coaster. _Yes, I want you. _"Well...I...I wanted to..."

"I heard what happened with that Armitage girl, I wouldn't want to mess with her, she looks fierce. What did the mousy girl have to do with it, though?"

"One of the boys in the class threw something at her so Haruka hit him in the face with her book."

Natsuki laughed, a deep, whole-hearted laugh that brought a smile to my face. I knew that I wanted to hear her laugh like that all the time. "It was somewhat funny."

The bell sounded for the end of lunch and I said goodbye to Natsuki who smiled at me, "Goodbye, bella." I gave her a confused look, "Maybe later I'll tell you what it means."

"I know what it means," I said as I left, "I'm just wondering why you called me it."

I didn't hear her answer, but it sounded like, "Because you're beautiful." I wound through the other students and found my way to my next class. When I entered I spotted Reito, who waved at me and pointed to an open seat next to him. I sat down and set my book bag on the floor, "Hi, my lord."

He playfully shoved me, "Stop that, you make me sound like a prick." He turned suddenly serious, "I saw you talking to Haruka, how is she?"

"She's fine, they only gave her detention today and a warning. I worry that if this continues she might get expelled."

"Don't worry, Haruka will graduate, even if we have to forcibly calm her down."

"Good, then I'll leave that to you, then."

Reito thought about it, "Or maybe we can just sit her down and talk to her about it."

Yukino walked in just before the second bell and I motioned for her to sit next to me. She did, "You were almost late."

"I walked with Haruka to the detention room, it's on the other side of the campus. They call it a detention room but it seemed more like a prison."

Reito leaned over to join in, "What do you mean?"

"There are lots of cubicles there, but they're more like prison cells. They have locked gates and everything, Haruka seemed to accept it but I thought it was terrible. I don't ever want to go there."

I still shiver thinking about it, the way she described those cells was very accurate, I never saw them but Natsuki described them in great detail. She said they tried to break her, but she came to enjoy the silence, relish it even. She was so strong, then.

-IPR-

The school day passed and I stood with Yukino where we had stood the previous day waiting for Haruka. When she showed up she looked pale and haggard, she had dark bags under her eyes and she squinted in the sunlight. Yukino worried after her, "You look terrible, Haruka, what did they do to you?"

Reito approached as she answered, "Nothing, it's just dark in there all the time, I guess I got used to it."

Reito put a hand on her shoulder and smirked, "Maybe next time we throw our words, instead of our text book."

Haruka closed her eyes, "Take your hand off me, Kanzaki. I'll lay you out right here, Prince or not."

Reito laughed, "I don't doubt you could."

I laughed too, when I noticed Natsuki headed for her bike. I excused myself and followed after her, finally catching up to her as she mounted the machine and was about to put her helmet on. "Fancy meeting you here."

Her eyes turned to slits, "At my bike, what a coincidence."

I chuckled nervously, pierced by her emerald gaze. She was the only person who had that effect on me, I've stared down senators and congressmen, but only Natsuki could make me nervous. "I was just wondering if you wanted to talk for a bit while I wait for my mom."

"So talk."

My mind struggled for a topic, I finally settled on, "What do your parents do?"

"What do your parents do?"

"Hey, I asked you first."

She sighed, "My mom works for the DoD and my dad, well, he's gone. Sometimes I wonder if he ever existed, like some ghost of somebody that I'm supposed to remember but can't. Now it's your turn to answer." I started to speak when a familiar black car pulled up and honked. Natsuki pulled the helmet down over her face, "I've got to go." I backed away as she started the motorcycle and pulled out onto the street followed by the black car.

I returned to my friends to find that Yukino's parents had come to pick her up and only Reito and Haruka remained. A procession of cars that looked like it could bear royalty pulled up and a woman stepped out of the largest and approached Reito, her long dark hair flowed behind her like a cape. "Reito, let's go, I have an important meeting and I want you there."

"Yes, momma." He said his goodbyes and left leaving just me and Haruka standing at the curb.

We stood quietly for a few minutes before I said, "Do you remember what you said, about not planning to fail." She nodded, "Why did you get so protective of Yukino? You know fighting is prohibited."

She shook her head, "Because nobody deserves that, especially someone as smart and pretty as her. I don't want to fail, Shizuru, but I won't stand by and watch her get hurt either."

I let it go at that. I've learned over the years that when Haruka sets her mind to something it's impossible to talk her out of it. All I can do is come in after and help her clean it up and make sense of it all. I remember going to bed that night wondering how it would turn out with her. I would wait just short of a month before it all went down.

-IPR-

It was about twenty days into the school year and the teasing had only gotten worse. Haruka was chomping at the bit, but thinking about getting expelled was usually enough to keep her calm. That is until Yukino showed up to class one day with a cut on her forehead. No one could have predicted what happened next.

I wasn't there, but I remember walking in on the scene and thinking that it looked like something out of a movie, except way more real and way more horrible. Reito was there and he told me everything that went down.

According to him, Yukino was at her locker when the three boys who had been pestering her approached. When Yukino turned around, one of them pressed her up against the locker and started saying some things to her that he couldn't make out but seemed overtly sexual. What he didn't realize was that Haruka had gotten to school early that day and was waiting for him to make a move.

She grabbed him by the throat with her left hand and shoved him into the black wall across from the lockers. She held him there and hit him with her right hand once, twice, three times. Each time he heard the crunch of bone and cartilage. By the time she was done with him she had broken his nose, his jaw, knocked out several of his teeth and cracked his skull. She threw him to the ground as the bigger of the two remaining boys advanced on her, but he was no match for the sheer size and ferocity of an enraged Haruka.

She growled and tackled him to the ground, raining blows on him until he bled. She got up and started kicking him in the abdomen and head, breaking three of his ribs and knocking him senseless. The last boy had run away to get help and this is when I arrived and saw the blood and mangled bodies, Haruka breathing heavy standing over them.

I saw the monitors coming and, before he could show, Natsuki came out of the crowd and started kicking at the two boys. Haruka backed up a bit at the gesture and Natsuki started shouting at the top of her lungs about how she would kill them if they talked. When the monitor showed up he assumed that Natsuki had done it and dragged her off to the principal's office. I was left speechless by the event.

Yukino slid to the floor, hand pressed over her mouth and tears in her eyes. Haruka ran over to her and took her in her arms, patting her back and telling her that everything was okay. I remember the look that Yukino gave her, it was a look that I would see on Natsuki's face a few times. A look of unconditional love.

The doctor, her name was Sagisawa if I remember correctly, walked up with a couple of assistants and they half dragged, half carried the hurt boys to the infirmary. It would be the last time that I would ever see those boys again.

I remember thinking that I was selfish, my first thoughts weren't for Yukino or Haruka or those two boys who probably needed surgery after what had happened. My first thought was for Natsuki. Reito noticed me and walked over, he put an arm around me and I remember it being a comfortable silence, neither of us knowing what to say.

Haruka helped Yukino to her feet and into home room, to spite the incident neither wanted to be expelled. I wondered after Natsuki for the rest of the day, after word spread of the incident Natsuki became an underground hero. The thought of her in tights and a cape made me smile.

I didn't see her again until the end of the day, I stood on the curb with Haruka and Yukino, who did a poor job of hiding her new found affection for the blonde. It was sickening in all the right ways. Haruka turned her head and suddenly walked away. Yukino and I exchanged a look and followed after her. After a few steps I saw what she had seen, Natsuki was putting her helmet on when Haruka walked up. "Hey, why did you step in?" Natsuki didn't react at first, "Hey, I'm talking to you."

"I wish you weren't." Haruka made a show of being irate, "It had nothing to do with you, I thought I would be expelled. You know that you almost killed one of them, you ogre."

"What did you call me?"

Natsuki put her helmet on, but not before I noticed a smile. "Bye, bella." She pulled out of the parking lot followed by the same black car that always came for her.

Reito walked up, "Was that Ms. Kuga? Her mother works for the US Department of Defense, a real hard ass. I hear that black car is for her protection."

"Then why wouldn't she ride in it?" I asked and Reito was silent. "No, I think it's meant to keep her here."

-IPR-

"That was the first time I had ever seen the hero side of Natsuki. As time went on I would see it more and more as she opened up to the world."

"So were Haruka and Yukino a couple after that?"

"She swears no, but I have always suspected otherwise. If so they've kept it away from me."

"I'm interested in this Prince Kanzaki, you two seemed to hit it off."

"He was quite the charmer. He is one of the only people I ever saw stand up to Haruka after the fight. It happened, oddly enough, during a baseball game."


	4. Chapter 4

It was only a week after the hallway incident that it was decided that the class would play a game of baseball. The team captains were chosen, one boy and one girl, and each stayed true to their gender, splitting the class between girls and boys. We had gathered in our dugout when I noticed someone who didn't belong there, she tied her long blue hair into a ponytail and grabbed her glove. "Natsuki, what are you doing here? You're not in our class?"

She smiled at me, "This is far more interesting, plus you look good in gym shorts."

Haruka must have noticed it too, because she walked past and bumped her shoulder against Natsuki, knocking her back a little. "Kuga, why are you here?" Yukino was right behind her, which was usually where she could be found since finding her love, and she tied Haruka's hair back in a ponytail. Haruka thanked her, then returned to her inquiry. "You're going to get in trouble for being here."

"What do you care, then?" I always loved watching Natsuki play her game with Haruka, a game that she called 'Teasing the Bear' but that Haruka called her being a smart ass. "Maybe you should take one for me, return the favor."

"I didn't ask you to do that. I was willing to accept the consequences of my actions."

"So am I." Natsuki smiled her lady killer smile, it never affected Haruka but it sure set me on fire.

We got together and determined who would play which position, Haruka played center field, Yukino, who wouldn't be long separated from her and wasn't in great shape, played right field, I played first base and Natsuki played pitcher, seeing as she had the best arm. We took the field and one of the boys took the plate. Natsuki threw three quick strikes and he was done. The next person up to the plate was Reito. He waved to me on first and set up at the plate.

I remember Natsuki's grimace, at the time I didn't know why she would but thinking back on it I think she was jealous of how close me and Reito had become. She threw her first pitch and it smoked across the plate, Reito swung at it but it moved too fast for him. Strike one. He wiped his forehead and smiled at the dugout, earning some giggles from a few of the girls who weren't on the field. He set back up and Natsuki threw her second pitch which headed straight, but curved at the last minute. Reito swung and hit it, but only with the end of the bat and sending it into the nearby bleachers. Strike two.

Natsuki was focus personified, she stared Reito down and I swear I saw the prince flinch. Natsuki threw the ball, but this time Reito was ready for it. He made contact with it and sent a line drive out to right field, where Yukino was. The ball flew swiftly at her, she positioned her glove in front of her face, closed her eyes and prepared for it to hit, but it never did. She opened her eyes to see Haruka holding the ball proudly, she had run all the way from center field to catch the ball. "Sit down, Kanzaki, you're out." Reito's eyes became slits and the rivalry between him and Haruka began.

The next boy got on base, but Natsuki struck out the following batter and we returned to the dugout to go on the offensive. Natsuki was set to hit first, Reito took the mound for the boy's team. He threw his first pitch and Natsuki didn't swing at it, shooting Reito a taunting smile that openly said 'Try again'. Reito rolled his eyes and threw another pitch, Natsuki made contact with it and made it to second base safely.

Second up was me and Reito gave me a smile before he lobbed an easy one over the plate, I hit it and made it to first, Natsuki ran to third. Some of the other boys taunted him about letting me hit the ball, but he stood strong as one of the other girls stood on the plate. He wasn't so easy on her throwing three quick strikes and sending her back to the dugout.

Haruka hit fourth and she strode to the plate with the pomp and circumstance of a major league hitter. She shouldered the bat as Reito set up to throw, I could practically see the energy flowing between them as they squared off. He threw a pitch away from the plate and Haruka got angry and she bellowed a challenge."Why don't you throw one I can hit, Kanzaki."

He caught the ball with a growl and set up, Haruka stared him down again. He pitched and she swung, but just missed it as it struck the catcher's glove. Strike One. "How did you like that one, Armitage. Too much for you?"

She stomped her foot and set up again, I could barely contain a smile at how they were acting. I looked over to third and met emerald eyes, she had been watching me for a while now. She made a show of batting her eyelashes and I chuckled, Haruka and Reito's looks both silenced me. Reito threw a heater down the middle, but Haruka swung hard and sent it flying over the fence. "Thanks, Kanzaki, you practically gave me that one."

If looks could kill, Haruka would have been dead twice over. I have never seen such fierce determination in Reito's eyes since. He quickly struck out two more batters to end the inning.

The boys were next up to bat and we took the field again, Natsuki took the mound and gave up a few runs before she struck three out. Yukino was first up to bat on our turn and she clutched the bat awkwardly with both hands. Reito threw a fast pitch down the middle and Yukino swung far too late and far too weakly to hit it. Strike One.

Haruka burst from the dugout and rushed the plate, "Yukino, you need to hold the bat like this." She wrapped her arms around a blushing Yukino and moved her hands, "That way you can get a better swing." Haruka swung the bat a couple of times in practice before she let her go, shooting a mean look at Reito before she stepped off the field.

Reito pitched the ball and Yukino got closer, but still missed it. Strike two. Haruka bellowed, "Come on, Yukino, you can do it." He threw a pitch and Yukino made contact with it, but only enough to send it back to Reito who threw it to first base before Yukino could even run. The feud deepened.

After two more innings our gym time was coming to a close. Haruka and Reito squared off again, but Reito managed to strike her out this time. She was walking back to the dugout when I noticed someone waking from the main building. Natsuki noticed his approach and straightened her shoulders. "It's about time they noticed."

"Natsuki Kuga, you're not supposed to be here. This isn't your class." Natsuki froze as he approached her and grabbed her by the arm. "You're going to the office."

"Wait." I stopped him before he could drag her away, "Let her go, she didn't do anything wrong."

"She ditched her class this period."

"Yet she attended class this period." The boy looked confused. "In the rule book sent out by your very own student government it is against the rules for any student to be out of class while it is in session. Natsuki may not have been where she was supposed to be, but she was in a class so, according to your own rules, she has done nothing wrong. Let her go." The boy stammered and tried to protest but I stood my ground and he finally relented. He walked away angrily, Natsuki looked at me with affection. "My dad's a lawyer, he taught me all of that legal stuff."

She scratched the back of her head, "Thanks, I guess. Did you forget that I'm trying to get kicked out?"

"What if I want you to stay?"

She leaned in close and whispered into my ear, "Then I may just have to stay." She walked away and left me stunned.

-IPR-

Later that day I sat in my last class, absentmindedly thinking of Natsuki when I was approached by one of the upperclassmen. "Ms. Viola, can I have a word with you, please?" I noticed Reito look back at me with concern as I walked out with the boy, who I recognized as the Student Council President. "Shizuru, can I call you Shizuru?"

"Of course, Mr. Kurosawa."

"So, you remember me." He smiled awkwardly, as I've found most people do when talking to me. "I heard you talked Yun down, you know that Ms. Kuga was in the wrong."

"No, I don't know that. As I said, according to your own rules she wasn't in the wrong."

He handed me a piece of paper, "Well we've changed that particular rule." I read along the page and the particular loophole I had used had been patched up. "If it happens again, Ms. Kuga will serve her punishment."

"Of course. If that will be all, Mr. Kurosawa, I would like to return to class."

"Of course, take care Shizuru."

He offered his hand which I shook, "You too, Mr. Kurosawa."

I returned to my seat, and sat through the rest of the class. When the bell rang Reito stood at my desk, "Was that about Natsuki at the game?" I nodded as I packed my books up. "Why did you stand up for her?"

"Because I like her." It was a simple answer with deep connotations. Reito didn't understand, but he didn't question me further.

-IPR-

We stood at the curb, the others were waiting on their rides but I was waiting for Natsuki. I didn't have to wait long as she walked away from the building, but instead of going straight to her bike she approached and stopped just short of me. "Hi."

"Hi." This simple greeting was all we ever needed.

"I heard the Student Council President talked to you, did you get into trouble?"

"No, he told me that he changed the school rules to close up that loophole I used to defend you, then he left. If anything he seemed to admire that I stood up to him."

"That's good, I can't go pulling an Armitage and let someone else take the heat." She said it with a smirk at Haruka who visibly angered. Natsuki's eyes, which at first were trained on me, scanned the road and found a familiar black car.

She started to walk away and I followed, "Why do you leave in a hurry when that black car shows up?"

"My mother." That was the only answer she gave. As we approached her bike she spun around and gave me a kiss on the cheek. "Thank you, bella."

She pulled her helmet on and started her bike. I watched her until she was out of my sight, the black car following close behind. "Anytime, Natsuki. Anytime."

When I made my way back to the group, Reito's ride was just pulling up. He pulled me into a hug, "Goodbye Shizuru, I'll see you tomorrow." His eyes showed affection, and I cared for him, even if it wasn't in the way he was looking for. He looked back at me as he walked to the car, I waved.

My mom pulled up and I got in the car. "How was school, sweetie?"

"It was interesting. I used some of dad's lawyer talk to help this girl out of trouble."

"Really? That's cute." My mom laughed a little, I always loved her laugh. It reminded me of flowers blooming after a long winter. "Who was this girl? One of the ones who waits with you?"

"No, she rides a motorcycle and has these beautiful green eyes. I think I like her, mom."

I think she knew, even then, how deeply I cared for Natsuki. She was always supportive of us, even when my father threw a fit when he found out my mother helped calm him down. "She sounds nice, I'd like to meet her." I spent the rest of the ride home holding my cheek.

-IPR-

"So are you a lawyer now?"

Shizuru nods, "Yes, I have my own practice here in town. It's not huge but it keeps me in a house."

"So when did you know you were attracted to Natsuki?"

"I first realized my attraction to her at a school dance, when she shocked the school and won my heart at the same time."

**I am sad to say that Natsuki must die. (Raises glass) Hail the victorious dead.**


	5. Chapter 5

It was the winter of my first year at Fuuka and the temperature had dropped significantly. I have a dislike of the cold weather, so I dressed in layers upon layers of clothing. Natsuki wore barely a jacket, she loved the cold. She always said it made her feel refreshed, I always told her that she was crazy.

I remember that season well because at the start of it I took very ill and had to miss class for a week. On my return I climbed the ascent and was accosted by well-wishers. Apparently I had become quite popular during the fall and many people were asking after my health including a dark haired prince. "Shizuru, it's good to see you back."

The look of relief in his eyes was startling from one who was usually so composed. I didn't know what to say to him. "I'm fine, just caught the flu. I hate cold weather."

"I can see that, it looks like you bought a department store out of jackets."

We laughed together on the way to our homeroom, where Haruka was waiting for me. "There you are, Viola, I was wondering if you hadn't died."

"Don't show too much concern, Haruka, you might get wrinkles."

"You first, old woman. Reito here was chomping at the bit while you were gone. He was all, 'Oh I hope she's okay', and, 'I don't know what I'll do if she doesn't come back'."

Reito blushed openly, "It was nothing like that, Haruka. Stop filling her head with lies." He turned to me with a warm smile. "I am glad you're feeling better, Shizuru."

Several more well-wishers approached as I sat at my desk followed by Ms. Sanada with a large stack of make-up work. "It's good to see you well Ms. Viola. Here is what you missed while you were out. It's due tomorrow." I hung my head, so much for an easy day.

-IPR-

I sat at the lunch table with Reito, Haruka and Yukino. Reito and Haruka were arguing as usual while Yukino sat and ate quietly. Somehow the topic of a coming school dance came up and Haruka asked Reito who he wanted to take. "Well, I was looking at this girl in our class, but I don't know if she'll say yes."

I was working on some of the papers Ms. Sanada had given me when I caught a flash of emerald watching me from the doorway. I motioned for her to join me but she walked away, I excused myself to follow her.

We met up in the same bathroom that I had followed her into before. "Hi."

"Hi. I haven't seen you for a week, where have you been?"

"Did you miss me?"

Natsuki smiled her lady-killer smile and my heart fluttered. "Maybe. Were you out sick?"

"Yes, the cold weather doesn't agree with me. So..." I tapped my foot, "There's a dance coming up?"

"It's all anyone is talking about. Did someone ask to take you?"

I smiled sheepishly, "No, but I'm hoping that someone special will ask me."

Natsuki put a hand on my shoulder, "Don't worry, you're a beautiful girl. I'm sure someone will ask you." She left and my heart sank, I remember thinking how stupid she was for not noticing that I meant her. I hadn't thought about it from her perspective.

I made my way back to the cafeteria and sat back down next to Reito, working on my papers until the bell rang for the next class. I gathered my things and Reito offered to walk with me. As we walked he grew more nervous until I asked, "What is it, Reito?"

"I was wondering if you would go with me to the winter dance next week?"

"You want to go with me?"

"Absolutely, you're one of the prettiest girls here and we always seem to connect. So, what do you say?"

I don't remember what went through my head, that Natsuki was never going to ask me and I might as well go with a friend. Whatever I thought at the time, I still answered, "Yes, I will go with you."

His face lit up, "Really? I promise to show you the time of your life." In the back of my mind I knew that going to the dance with Reito would make him happy, but I secretly wished Natsuki had asked me.

He was jovial as we entered our next class, Haruka approached while he took his seat. "Did Reito ask you to the dance?" I nodded, "Did you say yes?" I nodded again, "You don't seem very enthusiastic."

I whispered to her, "I really wanted to go with Natsuki, but she didn't ask me."

"She was right not to ask you. It's a public event, Shizuru, and like it or not there is a lot of prejudice here. If you went with her you would both be ostracized. I think she's looking out for you."

I hadn't thought about it like that. "She could have said that, at least, instead of ignoring me."

I must have been pouting because Haruka started laughing. "You really shouldn't pout, you don't do it well. Come on, class is starting."

I thought about what Haruka had said for the whole day until school let out and I waited by Natsuki's bike for her. When she approached I asked, "Why didn't you ask me out to the dance? Was it to protect me?"

Natsuki didn't smile, she only looked away, "Did someone else ask you? Was it that Kanzaki guy?"

"Yes, Reito asked me and I told him I would go with him."

"I see." I noticed something in her eyes I had never seen before. Hurt. "Then I hope you and the Prince have a good time." She started up her bike and pulled away even before the black car arrived.

I moped back to my friends who waited at the curb, Reito put an arm around me. "Did she say something to you?"

"I think I hurt her." Reito didn't seem to understand, my mom pulled up and I shrugged out of Reito's embrace. I waved to him as we left the driveway and headed home. I must have looked a mess because my mom asked, "Are you feeling okay?"

"Reito Kanzaki asked me to a dance next week and I told him yes."

"Is he that tall, dark-haired boy you hang out with? He seems nice, but why are you sad then?"

"I wanted someone else to ask me, but they didn't and I'm afraid I hurt them by not waiting."

"Shizuru." My mom put on her comforting voice, a voice reserved just for me. "You don't get anywhere in this world by waiting. If you want something you have to grab it before it's taken away. If the other person wanted to go to the dance with you they should have asked, but they didn't."

"But still..."

"That goes for you, too. You could have asked this person to go with you, but you didn't. You made a choice, but have faith, sweetie, everything will work out." That was one thing my mom was really big on, having faith. "When is this dance?"

"Next Friday."

"Then your father will be home and he can drive you, he'll be so happy." That bit of news was a pick me up, my father was rarely home but it always made me happier to see him.

-IPR-

During the week leading up to the dance, I didn't see Natsuki at all. She was actively avoiding me, even going so far as to avoid eye contact with me. A part of me wanted to tell her I was sorry, another that I wasn't sorry and she should have asked me. What I did was nothing, however, and so the day of the dance drew near. I went about my usual school business with a grim determination, I would not let this ruin what was to be a spectacular night for me. When class was over I stood on the curb with Reito, who told me he would pick me up if I needed, but I told him my father would drive me and he relented, gave me a kiss on the cheek and told me he would see me later. I felt nothing from the kiss.

After he left I waited alone. I searched the parking lot for Natsuki's motorcycle but it wasn't there. Perhaps she hadn't gone to school that day. My father drove up in his Lexus and immediately dispelled the cloud that hung over my head. He stood tall, his dark hair combed back into an old hairdo that I never liked, his red eyes were the same color as mine. "Hey, sweetie, are you ready for your first high school dance."

I got in the passenger's seat and he pulled out of the driveway. "Yes, it's really exciting." My eyes found Natsuki's motorcycle parked in the faculty lot, she had her back turned to me but it seemed she was arguing with a teacher I hadn't seen before. A round man with an afro that looked strange on him. I wondered what they argued about.

My father pulled me from my thoughts. "Your mother tells me that a handsome boy asked you to go with him. I'm happy for you, Shizuru."

"At least one of us is." I muttered under my breath as we drove home.

When we got home my mother was waiting for me with a lovely green dress. "Do you like it? I went and bought it today, I thought it would match your eyes."

I ran the fabric through my hands, silk. "It's lovely, but seems expensive. You didn't have to buy this for me."

My father put his arm around me, "It's your first dance, sweetheart, it was no trouble at all. Just be sure to take care of it, because you may want to wear it to the next." His smile warmed me and I ran upstairs to bathe and change for the dance.

When I was ready I walked out to the living room, my father gushed over me. "My daughter, you are the picture of elegance. Any man would be lucky to have you on his arm." He pulled me aside and spoke softly, "And if he lays a hand on you I'll have him killed." He smiled at me and I laughed back, never sure if he would make good on that threat.

My mother pulled out a camera, "You look lovely, Shizuru, stand next to your father."

She took almost a roll of pictures before I stopped her, "Mom, I'm going to be late."

She kissed me on the forehead, "Have a good time, darling. Everything will work out."

More of my mother's prophetic words, my father looked confused as he kissed his wife goodbye and we walked out to the car.

The drive was quiet, neither of us wanting to break the comfortable silence that filled the car. We pulled up to the school and Reito was waiting for me on the curb, his jaw hit the floor when I stepped out of the car. I wore the green silk dress and had let my hair down to flow around my shoulders, a pair of matching heels and a gold necklace of a serpent. "Shizuru, you look beautiful."

I leaned in and gave him a kiss on the cheek, "You look handsome as well, Reito." He did look handsome in his black suit and tie with gold trim.

My father stepped out of the car and approached, "You must be the boy who's stolen my dear Shizuru's heart." He offered his hand to Reito, "Masato Viola."

Reito shook his hand, though tremulously, my father was a head taller and a deal wider than him. "Reito Kanzaki."

My father smiled as he clapped him on the arm, "Well met, now you take care of my daughter." He pulled Reito to the side and said something quietly to him. I don't know what he said but Reito came back white as a sheet. My father waved bye as he drove away. I took Reito's arm as we walked into the auditorium where the dance was taking place.

The auditorium was decked out for the dance, chandeliers hung from the ceiling casting a soft light around the large center area that had been cleared for a dance floor. The floor was crowded with students dressed in flowing gowns and suits. Me and Reito received many looks and quickly became the talk of the dance.

We approached the dining table where many foods were laid out and where Haruka stood in a flowing white dress. "You two look good together."

Reito smiled a crooked smile, "Who are you here with, Haruka?"

"I'm here stag, all of these boys are too scared of me to ask me to dance."

Reito rolled his eyes, "My, why would they think that."

Haruka balled her fists, "Maybe I can convince them by beating you up, Kanzaki."

"You look lovely, Haruka." Yukino ran up and cooed over her, wearing a pink dress with a choker. "You're the most beautiful girl here."

Reito cleared his throat, "Yeah, beautiful." He took my hand, "Would you like to dance, Shizuru?" I had taken ballroom dancing when I was younger so we were quickly the center of attention as we twirled and spun on the dance floor. He was good, but I noticed him fall behind a few times. The song ended and I looked around the room hoping to catch a glimpse of emerald.

Before the next song could start the doors to the auditorium flung open and I finally found the eyes I had been searching for. Natsuki walked in wearing a form fitting black dress with a slit that showed plenty of leg, her blue hair hung over her right shoulder, her heels clacked against the hardwood. She strode through the dance floor like a conquerer, the students parted before her like Moses. As she neared I noticed she was wearing make-up and red lipstick.

Everyone around had stopped dancing and all attention was on her as she offered her hand to me. "Shizuru Viola, may I have this dance?"

Reito's hand tried to find mine but couldn't, so he settled for an angry glare. I was stunned. "She's here with me, Kuga."

I thought of my mother's words. _If you want something you have to grab it before it's taken away. _"Yes." I took Natsuki's hand, "Sorry, Reito, I'm sure anyone would be happy to dance with you." A look of disappointment ran across his face before he straightened it. "It's okay, go be happy, Shizuru." He never really forgave me for abandoning him then.

Natsuki led me to the dance floor and the music began again. She moved like water across the dance floor, she was grace personified. I found myself hard pressed to keep up with her. She pressed against me and something instinctual took over. I turned my head slightly and our lips met, a deep, sensual kiss that set my heart and body on fire. All attention was on us as our lips parted and I melted into her arms. Several of the students around us shot dirty looks but I didn't care, everything had worked out.

The song changed to a slow one and we held each other close. "What made you want to come, Natsuki?"

"I wanted to ask you, but Kanzaki beat me to the punch. I was furious with myself, I broke all the mirrors in my apartment. One of the teachers here convinced me to give it a shot. I'm glad I did."

I kissed her on the cheek, "Do you like me, Natsuki?"

My hand slipped and grazed her bare thigh, I felt her shiver. "Yes, I do."

"Good, because I like you, too."

-IPR-

The dance was over and I waited for dad to come pick me up, it was cold but Natsuki had taken some boy's jacket off the back of a chair and put it around me. We stood close, my hand found hers and closed around it. She returned the hold. My father pulled up and she let me go. She stood awkwardly away from me, "I'll see you in class next week."

"Bye."

Natsuki almost ran to her motorcycle when my father stepped out of the car. "Hey, sweetheart, where's Reito?"

I couldn't think of anything. "He had to leave early, something to do with his mother."

"I see, are you ready to go home?"

The sound of Natsuki's motorcycle thrummed across the parking lot as she pulled out onto the street and drove away. My eyes stayed with her until she was a speck on the horizon. A yawn escaped my lips, "I'm pretty tired. Don't be angry if I fall asleep on the way."

My father smiled, "I couldn't be angry with you."

-IPR-

The school was abuzz with talk of my and Natsuki's kiss the next Monday. I couldn't walk down the hall without getting stares and whispers behind my back. It started to weigh on me as I approached my home room and found Natsuki waiting for me. Her smile took all of the trepidation away. "Hi."

"Hi, bella. Did you have fun on Friday?"

"Yes, my feet still hurt." It was no lie, my feet were killing me. "If you hadn't run off last night you could have met my dad."

Natsuki looked at the ground and tapped her feet nervously. "I don't think we're there yet." The bell rang and I gave Natsuki a quick kiss on the cheek, "See you at lunch, and you are going to eat lunch with me. Non-negotiable." Her sigh said _Okay, Shizuru_ and I smiled the whole way to my desk where Reito said a dull hello to me. It was a while after that before we were friends again.

-IPR-

"So you faced a lot of prejudice?"

"It was mostly just looks, Natsuki had somewhat of a bad reputation so no one would dare say anything to her or me." Shizuru laughs, "Now my father, that was a different story."

**This would be a much smoother process if I could just upload from my iPod. **


	6. Chapter 6

**As I post this, my head is screaming at me in protest. This is the longest chapter of any of my fanfictions, and, I hope, one of the most meaningful. Enjoy.**

My father was a partner for the law firm Burns, Tyrell, and Viola. He was a meticulous man who was always well groomed and well dressed, never being seen out of the house without his suit and slicked back pompadour that I thought made him look weird. He was staunchly traditional. He married my mother long before he had sex with her, and definitely before I was concieved. He demanded that my mother stay home and play the housewife. I always suspected that my mother resented that, but if she did then she never complained about it.

He and my mother lived in a small apartment in the city while he was working his way up the ladder. He won a lot of accolade for being popular with juries, before he had been with the company for ten years he was made partner.

Not long after that I was born, and mom told me that he was ecstatic to find out I was a girl. He wanted to name me Shizuru, after his grandmother, and so I was born Shizuru Viola. I remember him not being around that often, his work often taking him away for weeks at a time. This only made me happier to see him whenever he was around, and he was always a bit more doting on me because of it.

He just so happened to have been home the first time I brought Natsuki around. The ensuing conflict would also see me meeting Natsuki's mother, Saeko Kuga, and learning a great deal more about Natsuki than I knew before.

-IPR-

It was three months after the winter dance and the weather was just starting to warm up. I remember because Natsuki started wearing those short skirts I used to like so much, and she knew it too because she would take any excuse to bend over when I was around. I would blush and look away, and she would smirk and walk away making me run to catch up with her. Those were good times.

She had started to eat lunch with me in the cafeteria, which earned us many dirty looks, but I didn't care. I was just happy to be eating with her. If she was affected by it, then she never said a thing to me. What she didn't like was when I would lay my head on her shoulder, but when we were alone you should have seen how affectionate she was. She was a brat like that.

Anyway, we had been dating for the three months since the dance and my parents were going to take me out to dinner at a fancy restaurant for my grades and I decided that I wanted Natsuki to be there. So when she sat down to eat with me I held her hand and she started to squirm. "Natsuki, would you like to come to dinner with me tonight?"

"Dinner? Just the two of us, because I know what I want to eat." She raised her eyebrow in that adorable way she did and I chuckled, though I didn't really understand what she was saying. A couple of years later it would make me all hot and bothered.

"No, my parents are taking me out to eat because my grades are good and I was hoping you'd want to come along. You can meet my parents."

Natsuki squirmed a bit more, she always got nervous at the mention of my parents. "I don't know, do you think your parents will like me?"

"I like you, they have to like you." Pretty sound reasoning, I thought, but I was young and I couldn't have predicted my father's reaction. "Come on, you'll do it if you love me."

She blushed the cutest shade of red. "Okay, I'll go with you, but that doesn't mean I love you or anything."

I let go of her hand when Haruka and Yukino sat down across from us. "Hey, Viola, Kuga."

Natsuki nodded her head in the common greeting between them. "Armitage." Natsuki and Haruka had started to develop a bond between them. I always joked that it was because they both acted like boys. Haruka would get mad. Natsuki never did, I think she knew that it was true.

By now they, along with the entire school, knew of our relationship. Haruka seemed indifferent, as if we were just another couple. Yukino seemed jealous, seeing in us the relationship she wanted with Haruka. "So, was I the only one who thought that math test was way to hard."

"Maybe you should try studying, Armitage. It works for the rest of us." Natsuki looked up from her lunch just long enough to say that, then returned to casually picking at her food. She never ate much, even when I would cook for her she would end up just picking at what was left of her food until I took it away from her and finished it off. Since I had missed breakfast that morning, I did just that.

"That's easy for you to say. You're dating one of the best students on campus."

"For your information, I've never asked her to help me study." She hadn't, and it would have irked me if her grades were low, but they weren't. "I even got a perfect grade on my last literature test."

She presented the paper with her grade printed neatly on the top of the page in red ink beside the phrase, **Excellent work, Natsuki.** What really struck me about the page was the perfection of her handwriting, especially the way she curved her letters. "You write so beautifully, Natsuki." I couldn't help but exclaim, causing her to blush again.

"I've studied penmanship since I was a little girl. I always found it relaxing, even when my mother was being overbearing. I could just sit in my room and write to my heart's content." She had gotten this dreamy look on her face, like she was picturing a perfect time in her life.

The bell rang as I finished what was left of Natsuki's lunch. The four of us walked to the door together and I gave Natsuki a quick kiss before we went our separate ways. This was the worst part of my day. "I'll see you after school, honey."

"See you later." My hand slipped out of hers and I watched as she turned a corner. I made my way happily to my next class. Reito cut me a dirty look when I sat down, but I was too happy to care. I would be having dinner with my girlfriend tonight.

-IPR-

As had become my routine, I stood with Natsuki near her motorcycle after school. "I'll be by around six, if that's okay. That's enough time to get home, shower and change before we meet up."

"That sounds good. I'm really happy that you're going to dinner with us. My parents are going to love you like I do."

"That might get awkward." Her classic eyebrow raise told me she meant something different. I chuckled, even if I didn't truly understand it's meaning. She leaned over and kissed me when the familiar black car pulled up. Her eyes looked over as we kissed, but she didn't stop like she normally would. She put her arms around me and I melted into her embrace.

The black car honked but she still didn't stop. Finally she let me go and grabbed her helmet. I struggled to catch my breath and calm my nerves. "I'll see you tonight, bella." She closed the visor on her helmet and kicked her bike on. This seemed to calm the men in the black car, because they merely followed quietly after her as she pulled onto the street and drove away.

My heart soared, though whether that was from the deep kiss or our planned evening I wasn't sure.

I stood at the curb waiting for my mom with, what felt like, a ridiculous grin on my face. At least that's how my mom described it. "Are you excited for tonight, sweetie? You have this ridiculous grin on your face."

"Mom, is it okay if I invited a date?"

She looked confused at first, but her face gradually shifted to excited. "Absolutely, is it that Reito boy? Your father wouldn't shut up about him."

"No, mom, her name is Natsuki."

Her face shifted dramatically from one of barely contained excitement to one of near fear. "A girl?" Her voice was quiet, as if speaking the words would add power to them. "Are you a lesbian?"

That was the first time I had ever heard that word. The first time of many. "I don't know what that is?"

"Are you attracted to girls?"

I had never thought about it like that before. It just felt natural to be with Natsuki. "I guess so."

I noticed her hands shake as she held the wheel, her voice shook a little as well. "I don't think it's a good idea if she comes to dinner."

"What? You were okay with it when you thought it was Reito. Why should Natsuki be any different?" My mind simply could not understand the difference.

"Look, if it were up to me I would let you be with whoever you wanted. I'm sure this Natsuki is lovely, but your father will not be so forgiving. You should call Natsuki when we get home and tell her that she can't come."

"But..."

"Shizuru." She snapped at me, which she did so rarely that it caught me off guard. "Do what I say. Call her when we get home."

"No, mom, she's my girlfriend and I want her there."

My mom could tell that I was serious and she relented. "Fine, but you'll have to deal with your father. Don't come crying to me after he's hurt your feelings." Before that mom had always been there when I had to deal with my father. In just a few short hours I would wish she had been there for me again.

-IPR-

It was nearly six and I was dressed and ready to go. I wore this red dress that I had bought the last time me and mom went shopping and I had even put on makeup, something that I almost never did. I had put on a pair of heels and had tied my hair back into a ponytail.

I was sitting in the living room waiting for Natsuki to show up. I didn't look it, but I was nervous. My talk with mom in the car had left me shook up and I was worried. I heard a familiar engine buzz and shortly after a knock on the door. I ran to the door to answer it and Natsuki stood on the porch wearing a pair of faded jeans and a t-shirt, her riding helmet under her arm. "Hi." She sounded really nervous.

"Hi." I sounded just as nervous. "I'm glad you came, I really wanted you to be here."

She walked past me into the house. As she walked by she gave me a quick kiss on the cheek. "I wanted to be here for you, I'm just nervous about meeting your family. Hopefully they understand."

Understand what? That's what I wanted to ask, but before I could get the words out my father came down the stairs. "Your mother told me you had invited a date along. I had assumed to see the young Kanzaki boy here with you." He approached us in his suit and tie and stood before Natsuki. I had never before or have I since seen her look so intimidated by another person. "I'm Shizuru's father, Masato Viola, and you are?"

If she was apprehensive she did a very good job of keeping it out of her voice. "Natsuki Kuga, I'm your daughter's girlfriend."

"A close friend then?" His voice was more insinuating than asking.

"No, her girlfriend. I'm in love with your daughter, sir." Hearing that made me both happy and anxious. It made my father just angry.

"You're WHAT?!" His bellow tore through the house like a storm. My mother stood at the base of the stairs, but, like she told me, she didn't get involved. "You dare to come into MY house and corrupt MY only daughter. I've raised Shizuru to be a good girl, not some deviant."

I had heard enough of my father berate Natsuki, so I stepped in. "Dad, that's enough. I invited Natsuki over to meet my family, not get insulted and yelled at. I'm sorry if you don't approve of us dating, but that's how it is."

My father wouldn't relent, however. "Not under my roof it isn't. I refuse to allow you to see this girl."

Natsuki sighed. "Shizuru, maybe I should just go."

"No." I was already worked up. "This fight is going to happen one way or the other. I'd rather have it out now." I grabbed Natsuki by the arm and felt her pull me to her. "I want to be with her, dad, and you can't stop me from seeing her."

"You're right, Shizuru, I can't. What I can stop is letting you live in my house. You want to be with that she-devil, then leave." His voice was no longer angry, but determined. Natsuki froze and my mother covered her mouth, tears streaming down her face.

I was still angry, however. "Fine, then I'll just stay with Natsuki."

I pulled Natsuki out of the door with my father and mother just staring on. When the door slammed shut I could hear my mother crying and my father's angry shouts. Natsuki was still stunned. "I knew this was a bad idea. It never works out."

I threw my arms around her neck and she held me by the waist. "I really need you to be strong for me, Natsuki." I buried my face in her chest and tried to stop myself from crying. After the adrenaline wore off I realized what had just happened. "Please, be strong for me."

Natsuki kissed me on the forehead. "We can go to my apartment. There's food, so we can eat there." I nodded and Natsuki put her helmet on my head. We walked over to the bike and she got on first. I hesitated. "Don't worry, I won't let anything happen to you."

I got on the bike behind her and held on tightly. "Don't you need a helmet?" She shook her head and kicked the bike on. Something between the vibration of the bike and my proximity to Natsuki sent a curious feeling through my legs and up my stomach.

She pulled out of the driveway and onto the highway. The speed frightened me at first, but I trusted Natsuki and, before too long, I found myself enjoying the feel of the wind rushing past.

We rode for nearly thirty minutes before we got to Natsuki's apartment, an efficiency in a small building nestled between two other apartment buildings that seemed run down. Her apartment was on the second floor so we walked up the stairs. Natsuki never rode elevators, she would always say, "Why use the elevator when there's a perfectly good set of stairs right next to it?"

Then I would always respond, "Why do they put stairs next to a perfectly good elevator?"

This time, though, there was no conversation. I was too exhausted from the ride and before we got to her apartment I felt like my legs would just fall off. She opened the door and let me through first. "This is my place. It's not much."

"Actually, it's my place." Natsuki threw her arm around me and stepped in front of me so she would get attacked first. I found it romantic. A lighter lit up in the dark sitting area and lit a cigarette. "I do pay the bills after all." The voice felt oddly familiar, like a more adult Natsuki.

"Mom? What are you doing here?" She flipped the light switch and I saw her mom for the first time. She was wearing a simple outfit, pants and a shirt, but she had the same blue hair and emerald eyes that Natsuki did. I remember being scared of her. I wonder if that's how Natsuki felt meeting my parents.

"Your babysitters tell me you're being good. Attending school every day, not getting into fights but they've also told me that you've been seeing somebody. I guess this is her." She stood up and approached, "Hello there, my name is Saeko Kuga. I'm Natsuki's mother."

I looked her in the eyes and found them to be mirthful, slightly easing the tension I felt. "Shizuru Viola."

She stopped right in front of me and cupped my chin in her right hand, holding her cigarette in the other. "You are lovely, Ms. Shizuru. Far to lovely to be seen with a vagrant like my daughter."

"Mom." Natsuki's voice showed irritation.

"What?" Saeko played innocent, "I'm merely stating that she is a lovely young lady and your intentions are far from gentlemanly."

"I assure you, Ms. Kuga, that Natsuki has been nothing but a gentleman."

Her smile caught me off guard, I always thought she smiled like a shark. "No need to be so formal, you can call me Saeko." She turned to Natsuki, "Well, are you going to leave your girlfriend and your mother hungry? Or can you not cook?"

Natsuki turned beet red and looked like she was going to burst. I decided to intervene. "I can cook for the three of us. Come on, sweetheart, let's see what you have to eat." I took her arm and pulled her away to the kitchen. Saeko smiled as she went to sit back down.

I opened the fridge and started pulling stuff out to make sandwiches. Some lunch meat, lettuce, tomato and a jar of mayonnaise, the last of which got Natsuki excited. "Thanks, Shizuru, my mom has this way of getting under my skin. It's always been like that." Natsuki opened a loaf of bread and I started putting mayo on them. "Extra for me, I love mayo."

"More than me?"

Natsuki smiled and playfully shoved me. "Not while my mom's here," She leaned close and whispered in my ear, "but no, not more than you." She planted a soft kiss on my cheek and the room suddenly got hotter.

I finished the sandwiches, making a few too many for just the three of us, then me and Natsuki carried them out to the table where Saeko sat. "So you invite her over and she cooks for you? How's that fair?"

"Mom." Natsuki was practically grinding her teeth as we sat down. "Shizuru just got into a fight with her father and she's staying here for now."

"Oh, what did you two fight about?"

I grabbed a sandwich and took a bite. "My dad doesn't approve of us being together." I slumped in the chair, "I don't know what to do about it."

Saeko finished her sandwich really quickly. "Just give him time. He'll realize that you're more important to him than this fight and let it go." She looked at Natsuki almost sadly. "I learned that one the hard way."

A look passed between them and I knew that a barrier had been breached. "Anyway, what brings you here, mom? Shouldn't you be in D.C. right now?"

"I came by to see how my daughter was doing. I never get to see you anymore, except through the pictures I get every day. I don't like what you're doing with your hair these days. You should wear it down, you have such beautiful hair." She did have beautiful hair, and I never cared how she wore it.

"It's good to know that you're still scrutinizing me. Even from so far away." She ate her sandwiches quickly as well. A Kuga trait? Perhaps our children will eat their lunches while I'm still making them. I chuckled as I mused quietly to myself. When I returned to the present I noticed two pairs of green eyes on me. "Are you okay, sweetheart?"

I shook the dream away. "I'm fine."

"You're probably tired from the drama. You can lie down on my bed if you like." She pointed me to her bedroom. When I opened the door and walked in I was surprised at how clean the place looked. A dresser drawer was open and a piece of silky fabric peeked out. I couldn't help myself.

Inside the drawer was a veritable collection of lingerie, I was happily surprised to see a more feminine side of Natsuki. Until now all I'd seen was the motorcycle riding, sarcastic girl that she was at school. I lay down on the bed, thinking of Natsuki in lingerie as I drifted to sleep.

-IPR-

I awoke when the bed shook and warm arms wrapped around me. "Sorry, did I wake you?"

"It's okay."

I snuggled closer to her and lay in comfort until her phone rang. She got up and answered. "Hello?" A pause. "Yes, she's here." She sat back down on the bed and handed me the cordless. "It's your dad."

"Hello?"

"Hi, pumpkin." There was an awkward pause on the line, like we were both trying to jump across a chasm and we didn't know if either of us would make it. "Look, I may have overreacted. Just come home, darling. Let's talk about this."

"Is Natsuki welcome?"

Another silence, the chasm widened. "Yes, she's welcome. Just come home."

"Okay, I'll be home soon. Love you, bye."

I hung up the phone and handed it to Natsuki, who was already putting her shoes on. "So, you're going home?"

I nodded, and we walked silently out to her waiting motorcycle. The ride back home wasn't as exhilarating as the ride to her apartment, the weight of the coming conversation was weighing on me. After almost a half an hour we pulled up to my house and I slipped off the motorcycle and my legs buckled out from under me. Natsuki caught me and held me until I could stand again. "I'm sorry, I didn't realize I was so tired."

Natsuki merely shook her head as we walked to the front door. My hand stopped on the knob for a full minute before I turned it and opened the door. My mother and father were sitting in the living room waiting for me. My father spoke, his deep, throaty voice sounded relived. "Sit down, Shizuru." I sat down across from them. "First, I'm sorry for yelling at you. It just caught me off guard, learning about your ... preferences."

Natsuki sat down beside me, she took my hand in hers and squeezed it. "I'm sorry for yelling too, dad. I just got so caught up in the moment."

"It's okay, Shizuru, it was my fault. I just want you to be happy, love. You're my only daughter." He turned to Natsuki. "And if you're the girl that my daughter has chosen, then I should get to know you."

Natsuki nodded, "I would like that, Mr. Viola."

We all stood and my father gave me a big hug, then shook Natsuki's hand. I noticed a small smile in the corner of her mouth. "I'm exhausted, and I have a big case starting tomorrow. Goodnight, darling."

"Goodnight, dad." He walked upstairs and left only me, my mother, and Natsuki in the living room. "Thanks, mom."

"I didn't have anything to do with it. He just realized that you're more important to him than the fight. Goodnight, sweetheart." She kissed me on the cheek then gave Natsuki a hug. "Goodnight, Natsuki."

She followed my father up the stairs and left just me and Natsuki in the living room. I yawned and she pulled me into a hug. "You look tired, sweetheart. You should go to bed." She kissed me, a slow deep kiss that said all that needed to be said between us.

I walked her to the door, "Good night, Natsuki. For what it's worth tonight was a lot of fun. I like your mom."

"I guess one of us has to." She chuckled as she left the house. "Good night, bella. I'll see you in school tomorrow."

I watched her walk away before closing the door and heading up to my room. I fell into my bed and passed out almost instantly. That was a long day.

-IPR-

A timer beeps on the desk and Al hits the alarm. "Well, Shizuru, our time is up for today. But I'd like to schedule you for early next week, if that's okay with you?"

"That's fine with me."

Shizuru gets up and shakes Al's waiting hand. He feels some metal around one of her fingers. "Are you married, Ms. Viola?"

"I am, his name is Thomas Franz. He's a good man."

"Do you love him?"

Shizuru looks away, "I love our daughter."

"Oh, you have a daughter? What's her name?"

A shadow of a smile crosses Shizuru's face. "Natsuki Viola. She has my name and hers."

"I'll see you next week, Shizuru. Take care."

She leaves the office and a tall, blonde haired woman stands up. "So, how did it go?"

Shizuru smiles darkly, "I'm going to get you back for this. You know that, right?"

Haruka puts an arm around her. "Come on, Yukino is having a get together. You'll feel better with a few drinks in you."


	7. Chapter 7

Shizuru wakes up the morning after her session with Dr. Heinrich, yawns and stretches the remainder of sleep away. She checks the clock that sits on a triangle night stand by the bed. Eight thirty. _I haven't slept this long in years, _she thinks as she throws on a slip and makes her way to the kitchen. It's a Friday and she's decided to take the day off of work and stay home with her daughter.

She finds her husband, Thomas, sitting in a chair at the table, drinking a cup of coffee and reading the morning paper from his tablet. "Good morning." he casually remarks as she plants a chaste kiss on his cheek, more siblings than a married couple. They had married more out of pressure than out of genuine feelings for the other. After almost ten years of marriage the couple had only had sex once, though this was enough to produce their only child.

Said child comes running down the stairs at full sprint and practically dive tackles her mother. "You were out so late that Nao had to tuck me in and I was worried about you but she said that you'd be okay and I'm so happy to see you." She blurts the entire sentence in one breath, causing both Shizuru and Thomas to chuckle.

"Nao was right, I'm okay now. Speaking of, where is that girl?"

As if on cue, the twenty-year-old runs through the door, half-eaten bagel in her hand and a book bag in the other. "Sorry I'm late, I stayed up studying and time got the better of me."

Shizuru chuckles at the disheveled state of her shoulder length red hair, at the rumpled state of her baggy cargo pants and t-shirt, at the luster of her green eyes, at the beads of sweat on her smooth skin. "It's nothing to worry about." Shizuru was attracted to the girl, she was adult enough to admit it. A strange chill still ran through her spine when she thought of taking the girl to bed, however. "I was actually going to tell you that you won't be needed today. I'm taking the day off work and staying home. I can look after Natsuki."

"Oh. Well I didn't really plan for a ride back. Do you mind if I stay here for a while?" She stands awkwardly, her eyes making no secret of their target, roving hungrily over Shizuru's body. Even at her age, Shizuru is a beautiful woman, her long, chestnut hair falling in light curls down her smooth shoulders left bare by her slip. Her toned body giving way to long legs that seemed to continue into forever. Shizuru is a siren, and Nao is a love-struck sailor.

Thomas stands up to leave, placing his tablet in the satchel he carries, setting his coffee cup in the sink to be cleaned later, giving Shizuru a soft good bye kiss on the cheek. He whispers to her, "It's been way too long, Shizuru. Treat yourself." Shizuru knows exactly what he means. He is aware of Shizuru's preferences and approves, somehow their lack of sex only makes their relationship stronger. He gives his daughter, who is sitting at the kitchen table, a kiss on the forehead. "I won't be home tonight, honey. So you can lock up."

Shizuru pours some cereal into a bowl. "Okay, have a good day, darling." She fills the bowl with milk, grabs a spoon and sets it before Natsuki, who tears into it with gusto. Shizuru pours herself a mug of coffee and sits next to her. She motions to Nao and an empty chair, "Sit down."

The girl does so. She reaches into her backpack and pulls out a book, setting it on the table and opening to begin reading. "What are you studying?"

Shizuru asks with curiosity and Nao looks away from the book only long enough to answer. "Spiritualism."

"That sounds fascinating." Shizuru puts her elbows on the table and leans forward. "What have you learned so far?"

"One of the things that stuck with me is the idea of an afterlife." Nao closes the book so she can look in Shizuru's eyes while they talk. "Every religion and culture has something similar, but it all boils down to the idea that no one truly dies. That our loved ones are always with us, even if we can't see them or feel them. Some cultures even believed it was possible to reach across this barrier. Shizuru?"

Tears had formed in Shizuru's eyes while Nao spoke, but now they stream down her face like a river of pain. "Yes, it does feel like that sometimes." Her voice is choked and Natsuki looks up from her cereal. "Like somehow she's still beside me, watching me and loving me. God, I miss her."

Shizuru's head falls to the table and she is choking back sobs. She feels a hand reach out for her right hand, Nao. She feels a smaller hand reach out for her left, Natsuki. "Mom, are you okay? Please stop crying."

She fights it, bringing herself back to a calm state for her daughter. "I'm okay, Natsuki." She wipes her eyes with her left hand. "Are you finished eating?" Natsuki nods. "Then go to the living room, I'll be there in a minute, okay?"

Natsuki obeys and heads to the living room, leaving only Nao and Shizuru at the table. Nao still holds Shizuru's right hand. "I'm sorry if I brought up something sensitive."

Shizuru shakes her head. "No, it's okay." They're eyes meet and Shizuru feels a fire light inside of her. "Will you watch Natuski for a minute? I need to freshen up."

"Sure. Take your time." Nao heads off to the living room and Shizuru heads upstairs to her bathroom. She puts on a pair of comfortable pants and a t-shirt, then stares at herself in the bathroom mirror. "Is it okay, Natsuki?" She asks the mirror. "Give me a sign that it's okay." She waits a full minute, but receives no answer, so she heads down to the living room where Natsuki and Nao are playing a video game. The object of the game appears to be to jump from platform to platform while avoiding spikes that would come up at random intervals.

"You can do it. Last jump." Nao is encouraging Natsuki, who misses by inches and her character falls to his death. "Oh, so close." She hears Shizuru sit on the couch and looks up. "Are you okay?"

Shizuru smiles and nods, "Yes, I'm fine, thank you."

Natsuki turns to her mother with a grin that spread across her face, "Mom, you can play the third player, if you want."

Shizuru shakes her head, "No, sweetheart, I'm terrible at those things."

"Why don't play a couple by yourself, kiddo." Nao gets up and sits next to Shizuru. Very close to her. "Are you sure you're okay?" Nao puts her hand on Shizuru's thigh, stoking the fire.

"For the last time, Nao, I'm okay. I just got a little emotional." The hand stays for longer than just comforting and Shizuru feels a bit more sure of her decision.

"I called a cab home, if that's okay. They should be here any minute."

"You don't have to leave."

"I need to study and there are too many ... distractions here."

A loud honk comes from the driveway and both Shizuru and Nao stand up. Natsuki turns her head, but quickly returns to the game. "That should be my ride."

"I'll walk you out." She looks at Natsuki, "I'm going to walk Nao to the door, say good bye."

"Bye, Nao." Nao gives her a big hug from behind, which she tried to shrug off. "Stop, it's embarrassing."

Nao chuckles as she walks past Shizuru and to the hallway that leads to the front door. She is turned around suddenly, and before she is aware of it she is pressed against the wall with a warm body pressed up against her. Lips that she had longed to kiss meet hers and the fire rages. The kiss lasts a full minute before Shizuru pulls away. "Be here at eleven o'clock. Don't be late. I'll be in my room."

Her voice is low, breathless and sounds like heaven to Nao, who has longed to hear those words since she discovered her crush earlier in the year. "I thought you'd never ask."

The front door closes behind her and Shizuru leans up against the wall to catch her breath. She doesn't know if it was the right thing to do, but god dammit it felt good to do it.

She walks back to the living room where Natsuki has bested the level that had previously stumped her. Shizuru sits down on the floor behind her, wrapping her in her arms and pulling her into her lap. Natsuki cuddles with her and Shizuru runs her fingers through her dark hair, her red eyes returning to the screen and the new level she is challenged to defeat. Shizuru kissed her on the forehead. "I love you, Natsuki."

"I love you too, mom."

Shizuru grips her tighter. She is taking the plunge and, just like the water in a swimming pool, she is feeling very cold. So very cold.

-IPR-

It's ten thirty now, and Shizuru is putting Natsuki to sleep. She tucks her into bed and kisses her forehead. "Goodnight, sweetie."

"Goodnight, mom. I love you." She slides deeper into her blankets and lays on her side.

"I love you, too."

Shizuru stands and watches her sleep for a few minutes before closing the door gently behind her and returning to her room. She takes a quick shower, letting the hot water run along her body for a little longer than necessary. She puts on some perfume she keeps in a medicine cabinet then puts on a sheer slip and sits on the end of her bed and waits. She doesn't wait long.

She hears a car pull into the driveway, then pull away. She hears the jingle of keys in the lock and the closing of the front door. She hears footsteps on the stairs and each one sends a chill through the floor, up her legs and down her spine. Her bedroom door opens and a red haired goddess entered. She is wearing a pair of creased slacks and a long sleeved shirt. Shizuru gets up from the bed and Nao is in awe of her. "Am I late?"

"No, you're right on time." They stand three paces apart from each other. At first neither wants to breach the distance. "You look really handsome, Nao."

"You're stunning, Shizuru." They take a step towards each other. Nao pulls at her shirt. "I didn't really know what to wear. I've never been this excited for anything before."

"I've never been more anxious. It's been a long time, Nao." Nao takes a step towards her. "I haven't been with a woman since Natsuki died."

"We don't have to do this, if you don't want to."

Shizuru closes the distance between them and answers with a deep kiss, putting her hands on Nao's neck. "No, this is what I want."

Nao returns the kiss with fervor, wrapping the taller woman in a tight embrace. She slowly slides the strap of Shizuru's slip off her silken shoulders until it falls off, leaving her naked. Nao drinks her in, her smell, her smooth, olive skin, her red eyes asking everything of her.

Shizuru pulls at the buttons on her shirt. They're lips never part, even when Shizuru has finished unbuttoning and tosses her shirt to the side. Even when she starts undoing her pants, letting them fall to the floor. Even when she undoes her bra and leaves her standing in only her panties.

The temperature in the room rises at least ten degrees as they move to the bed, exploring, probing, learning each other's secrets. Their bodies move against each other in a rhythm that only they can hear, to a beat that only they can feel, to a melody that they write with their cries of pleasure.

Afterwards they lie in each other's arms, Shizuru on her back with one arm around Nao who presses up against her. Her hand runs lazy circles over Shizuru's taut stomach. Neither speaks, neither wanting to break the magic of the moment.

Shizuru looks over to her vanity, which had gotten fogged over in the heat of their lovemaking, and could make out three words in perfect script. 'I love you.' Her mind is immediately whisked away to a time over twenty years ago. She lay in bed with a blue haired woman after making love. The smell of her is intoxicating, the feel of her is divine. Only two words come through the vision. _I promise._

She comes to sharply, her back arced, her breathing heavy. She falls back to the bed and Nao holds her tighter. "Are you okay?"

She looks back over at the vanity, the letters have begun to fade as the temperature in the room returns to normal. Shizuru rolls over and Nao throws an arm over her. "I didn't exactly make plans to get back. Can I stay here tonight?"

Shizuru closes her eyes. "Sure, I won't kick you out of my bed."

"What if your husband returns? Will be be upset?"

"He has his bed, I have mine, and no, he won't be upset."

They fall asleep in each other's arms and the trepidation that Shizuru had felt all afternoon was gone, replaced by something warm and inviting. Something she thought she had lost.

-IPR-

Shizuru wakes up in the familiar warmth of another woman's arms. She smiles before slipping out of her grip and off the bed. Nao rolls over and her eyes crack just a bit. "Is it morning already?" Her voice is heavy and drowsy. Shizuru thinks it's cute.

"Yes, it's nearly seven."

"A.M." Nao whines. "I didn't even know there was a seven A.M."

Shizuru leans over the bed and kisses her on the neck. "Then date someone your age."

Nao laughs. "No one my age could have done even half of that. You're an angel."

Shizuru throws on her slip from the previous night and stands in front of the vanity, brushing her hair. She feels arms wrap around her waist and a body press up against her back. "So, when can we do this again?"

She kisses Shizuru's bare shoulder. Shizuru continues to brush. "You have a key, and you're welcome in my bed any night."

Nao lets go of her and reluctantly starts to dress herself. She puts on her shirt as her phone buzzes and she checks it. "My ride is here. I should go."

She gives Shizuru an 'I'll see you later' kiss and heads down the stairs and out the door. Shizuru brushes her hair out for another three minutes before she makes her way down to the kitchen. As expected, Thomas is waiting for her. "I just saw Nao leaving, you cougar."

Shizuru smirks. "You're one to talk." She kisses him on the cheek and whispers in his ear. "What was his name?"

"I don't kiss and tell, honey." Shizuru is aware of his preferences and approves. It makes things much easier. "What are your plans today? Going shopping or out to the movies?"

Shizuru pulled two skillet out of a drawer near the stove and flipped two burners on. She pulled out a dozen eggs and a package of bacon. "Want some bacon and eggs?"

"Sounds lovely, but what about today?"

She cracked an egg over the side of the pan and let it drip into it. "I was planning on staying home, maybe watch a movie with Natsuki."

"I think I'll join you. It's been a while since I've spent time at home. It might be nice to just relax." The bacon sizzles as it hits the pan and fills the whole house with it's aroma.

Natsuki comes bounding down the stairs as Shizuru is getting plates ready. She sits down at the table and pronounces, in a loud voice. "I'm hungry."

Shizuru smiles as she places the plate on the table in front of her, then kisses her forehead. "Then you're just in time, sweetie. Eat up."

She sets a plate down for Thomas, who thanks her, then sits down herself. They eat together as a family, then make their way to the living room to watch Finding Nemo for the eighth time this month. It's Natsuki's favorite. She sits on the couch with her daughter and laughs with her husband and for the first time in twenty years she doesn't think about Natsuki. At least until she feels cold hands on her neck and hears a soft whisper, as if on the wind, "I love you."

-IPR-

Shizuru sits in the lobby of Dr. Heinrich's office trying to remain awake. Between spending the night with Nao and working all day she is a bit drowsy. She is about to fall asleep when the receptionist steps forward. "Ms. Viola? The doctor will see you now."

She makes her way into the pine graveyard and shakes the hand waiting for her. "Shizuru, welcome back. I see you didn't need an escort this time."

She sits in the plush leather chair and gets comfortable. "No, I'm here of my own free will."

Al pulls out a slip of paper with sloppy handwriting over it. "Do you feel that talking about this has helped you?"

Shizuru nods her head. "Yes, it feels really good to talk about it. I've carried this weight for twenty years now, but I'm starting to feel like I can let it go."

"Excellent. Now I've come up with a list of questions concerning your relationship with your husband."

Shizuru sighs. "He is a Certified Public Accountant, he is gay, and we have slept together only once in order to conceive our daughter, and neither of us really enjoyed it."

Al gives her a somewhat cross look then crumpled the paper and tosses it into a nearby waste basket. "Well, that was the first fifteen minutes. Why don't we continue the story you were telling."

"Sure. I would like to talk about the first time that me and Natsuki made love."


	8. Chapter 8

It was the winter of our sophomore year. I had turned sixteen at the beginning of the year, and Natsuki was turning seventeen the next day. Haruka was insistent that I had to get her something meaningful. "You two have been dating for almost a year, Shizuru. You need to get her something meaningful."

"I don't think she cares, Haruka." We were waiting for our history class to start and she was standing at my desk. I was pulling the textbook out of my backpack and setting in on the table. "She told me that she just wants to spend some time together outside of school. So I thought I'd cook her dinner at her apartment and we could eat and watch a movie. You know, spend the night together."

"Spend the night together? Have you two ..." I gave her a confused look. "You know ... done it."

I had heard the term before, mostly from others who had done it. I never had applied it to my relationship with Natsuki before, at least until Haruka brought it up. "No. Do you think she wants to?"

"I'll bet. Why else would she want to be alone with you on her birthday?"

"I don't know, maybe because I'm her girlfriend. You don't know what you're talking about." The second bell rang and the rest of the students filed in to take their seats.

"I still think you should get her something special. Like a ring."

She walked away to take her seat but her words stayed with me all the way to lunch time. I sat with Natsuki as we usually did back then. She was eating with her usual quickness when she noticed that I wasn't. "Hey, what's wrong? You're not hungry? Usually you're picking off my plate by now."

I exhaled. "It's nothing, Natsuki. I'm just nervous, that's all."

"About what?"

"It's nothing, forget about it."

"You know I won't forget about it. If you're nervous then I'm nervous, so just come out with it."

I remember those words touching me, not necessarily the words themselves, but the genuine concern behind them. This wasn't just a friendly pat on the back. Natsuki was genuinely concerned for me, and my heart turned at the thought.

"It's about your birthday. I was talking to Haruka earlier ..."

"See, there's your problem. You need to stop talking to that dunce. She's corrupting your brain."

I giggled, but stayed on subject. "Anyway, I was talking to her about your birthday and she was thinking that I had to get you something big. Then I told her about how we were just going to spend the night together and she started talking about ... it, and now it's been on my mind all day."

I remember Natsuki gulped when I brought it up. Apparently it had been on her mind as well. I wonder what she would have done if I hadn't brought it up. Either way, when I brought it up her face turned as red as a firetruck. She stammered, "Oh ... is that ... you've been ... thinking about."

I loved that expression on her face, and the way she stammered was adorable. I leaned over and kissed her on the cheek. "If it's that big of a problem, maybe I won't come over on your birthday."

"No!" She shouted and half the school looked over at us. She cast a mean look in their direction and they returned to their conversations. "I mean, I want you to come over. It has nothing to do with ... that. I just like being around you, that's all. You make me happy."

A smile creased my face and I wondered if she always knew just what to say, or if she was just lucky. "That's so sweet." I grabbed her hand and held it close to me. "You make me happy, too." She spent the rest of the lunch hour glued to my side. I only let her go when it was time to get to our classes.

My next class was English and I remember drifting off during the lecture. I must have been pretty far gone because the teacher, Mr. Sakomizu, slapped my desk and brought me out of my reverie. "Ms. Viola, would you care to answer?"

I looked up into his eyes with a mixture of embarrassment and confusion. "What was the question again?"

"What do you call a doctor who operates on the brain?"

"A psychiatrist." I smiled knowing I had caught him in a power play. Now he would have to admit that he was wrong about me not paying attention. At least, that's how it went in my head.

"Wrong. A neurosurgeon operates on the brain."

He showed me in the textbook where it clearly said 'Neurosurgeon' and I blushed. "Oh, I get those words confused a lot."

"If you payed attention in my class, which your parents have paid good money for I might add, you might not get so mixed up, Ms. Viola."

Some of the other kids laughed, most because it was nice to be watching Mr. Sakomizu's lecture instead of receiving one. A few because I had been a model student up until that point and they were happy to see me in a moment of weakness. I just felt a slight twinge of anger at the mention of my father, who I still had a small grudge against for the problem he caused Natsuki and I. "I'm sorry, sir, it won't happen again."

"It's not for my benefit, child, but yours that I want you to pay attention. Remember this school does not give failing grades and I want you all to succeed."

"Yes, sir, I understand." I paid attention in that class for the rest of the year.

-IPR-

After school I waited for Natsuki by her bike, as had become tradition between us. I beamed when I saw her blue hair walk out of the building and towards me. She kissed me and I felt a heat in my stomach that I hadn't noticed before. She pulled away, but was surprised when I wanted more. I pulled her to me and held her close. It was the first time either of us had used our tongue.

When I finally stopped our eyes met and I knew that she felt the same way that I did. Her breathing was heavy, like she had just come from running a mile. My heart raced. "That was fun." I couldn't think of anything else to say.

She pulled me to her chest and stroked my hair. "So, are you still nervous about coming over?" I shook my head. "Then I'll see you tonight." She kissed me again, then got on her bike. The black car that had followed Natsuki during our entire first year at Fuuka was notably absent our sophomore year. Perhaps she worked things out with her mom, or maybe her mom saw me as a good influence and so was willing to trust Natsuki to me. I asked her once, but Natsuki never answered me.

I made my way to the curb to wait for my mom. When she pulled up I got in and she asked me about my day. When I told her about my date with Natsuki she frowned. "What are you going to be doing over there?"

"I just want to cook something for her birthday, mom. That's all." She dropped the subject there, but my mind kept going. "Mom, what's it like?"

"What is what like, dear?"

"You know ... when you're with someone you love."

"Oh." She grew tense and gripped the steering wheel so hard she nearly broke it. "Well first you have to be sure it is love. Sometimes things seem like love, but really it's something else. Sex ... it changes things."

"What kind of things?"

Her grip stayed tight. "Well, you really get to know each other. I mean you know each other now, but it's a really intimate experience. You let him into you and he lets you into him and you get a better feel for the other person. Their wants, their needs, their desires." She grew thoughtful. "At least that's how it was for me. I wonder if it's different with two girls."

"So it could be nothing like that."

"Love is love, darling, and I'm sure it's just the same, whether it's a man and a woman or two women. Either way, you'll grow even closer to the other person, like a link has been made between your hearts. Even when you're apart, you'll be able to feel each other."

I smiled, "I like that."

My mother breathed a sigh of relief. "Good, because if this conversation kept going, we might have ended up in a ditch."

-IPR-

That evening I bathed for an extra long time and put on my favorite dress. It was made of silk and it was dark blue, the same color as Natsuki's hair. I took an extra long time combing my hair out and I even put on some lipstick. When I went down to the living room my mom was waiting for me. "You look beautiful, Shizuru. Are you ready to go?"

"I just need to grab the food and my change of clothes then I'll be ready." I had spent a good bit of the previous evening in a grocery store trying to find exactly what I wanted to cook for Natsuki. I decided to make chicken Alfredo, my mom showed my how to make it when I was younger and I used to love eating it. I grabbed the bag of food and my backpack with my school uniform in it and we headed for the car.

I spent the whole car ride there thinking about the coming evening and our relationship up until that point. When we pulled up to Natsuki's apartment, my mom put a hand on my shoulder. "Listen, I don't know what you have planned, Shizuru, but just be careful. Don't do anything you don't feel comfortable doing."

I looked her in the eyes. "It's okay, mom, Natsuki won't hurt me. I trust her." It was the truth, I trusted Natsuki with all my heart.

Her eyes watered and she pulled me into a hug. "When did you grow up? It still feels like yesterday you were playing with dolls and getting scraped knees from playing with the other kids. When did you get so big?"

I hugged her for a full minute before she let me go and I grabbed the food from the back seat. "I'm going to ride with Natsuki to school tomorrow. So I don't need you to pick me up tonight."

"Okay, but if you need anything just call, okay. I love you."

"I love you too, mom. Bye."

I walked up the stairs, butterflies in my stomach. Each step sent a chill up my legs and down my spine. When I got there the door was unlocked so I entered and Natsuki was bent over her TV. She turned around quickly when she heard the door and we spent a full minute staring at each other. "Hi."

"Hi." This was the first time we had ever really been alone together. The silence was deafening. "I brought the food."

The mention of food seemed to kick Natsuki into head. "I'll show you where everything is."

We went to the kitchen and she started pulling out the pots, pans and other utensils I would need to cook for us. While I was cooking, Natsuki was cursing from behind her TV set. "Is something wrong?"

"This VCR won't plug in right and it's making me mad." After wrestling with it for a while she finally stood up, "There, got it." She turned on the TV and put in a tape. The static cleared and the movie started. She paused it. "Ha, no TV is smarter than me."

I smiled as the cheese sauce cooked and the water for the noodles boiled. The chicken sizzled on the pan and I turned it when I felt arms around me. I melted into her embrace, for a moment forgetting about the food cooking on the stove in front of me. She smelled the air, "That smells delicious, Shizuru. I'm jealous, I can't cook at all."

I turned my head and kissed her on the lips. "That's why you have me."

I wished time had stopped in that moment. Before the accident, before we moved in together, before graduation, I wish we could have stayed there. Just two girls in love, but fate wouldn't be that kind to me.

She left me to cook, disappearing into her room. I busied myself with cooking, so much so that I didn't notice when she came back out of her room wearing nothing but a sheer slip. "Shizuru?" I looked up and dropped a spoon into the Alfredo sauce. "I bought it last week. Do you like it?"

My jaw dropped, the slip stopped just below her waist exposing her long, pale legs to me. I stammered, "Yes." then burned my hand getting the spoon out.

She smiled at me, a smile I loved and swore would do everything I could to see everyday of my life. I finished with the food and we sat at her table and ate. "I haven't eaten like this in a while."

"Your mom doesn't cook for you?"

"My mom is never here." Natsuki's eyes drooped. "She works in Washington D.C. so I never get to see her. She only comes over every so often to make sure I'm still okay, and to pay the rent on the apartment. Other than that it's just me here, and I can't cook so I mostly eat microwave meals and noodles. It's nice to eat something homemade for once." She leaned over the table and kissed me, "Especially if it's made by you."

She always had this way of making me feel special, whether it was with a touch, or a kiss, or her words. When she held me I felt like I could fly, when she kissed me I felt like the world didn't exist. Just the world she and I created.

After we ate I went to clear the dishes but she did, tossing them in the sink and swearing she would do them in the morning. I laid down on her couch and she slid in behind me, putting her arm around me and resting her head on the arm of the couch. She hit play on the movie and we lay together and watch it.

To this day I can't recall what movie we watched. I asked Natsuki just before the accident, but she didn't remember either. Maybe she was feeling how I felt then, our bodies pressed together, her hand on my thigh, her heartbeat so close to mine.

After the movie I excused myself to go to the restroom and stood looking at myself in the mirror. I didn't know what was going to happen that night, but I was ready. I found Natsuki in her bedroom. She turned and looked at me and we both knew what was going to happen. We stood three paces apart, neither of us wanting to close the distance. "You look beautiful, Natsuki."

"You do too, Shizuru." We took a step towards each other. I pulled at my shirt, for some reason I felt like I was wearing far too much clothing. Natsuki took another step towards me. "We don't have to do this if you don't want to."

I closed the distance between us and answered her with a kiss. "No, this is what I want." We kissed deeply and Natsuki slid the dress from my shoulders, exposing my chest. I slid the slip off of her smooth skin and just looked at her for a while. Her emerald eyes caught mine, asked everything of me and I wanted to give it all to her.

The temperature in the room rose at least ten degrees as we moved to the bed. Our bodies moved together with a passion that I had never known before, and afterwards we laid together in bliss.

"I didn't make plans to go home tonight. Can I sleep here?"

"Of course." She ran her hand through my hair. "I won't kick you out of my bed." Wait, is that right? That sounds familiar.

Anyway, we laid there together in silence until she said three words that defined my life with her. "I love you."

"You do?"

"Yes, I love you."

"Then promise me you'll tell me every day."

Natsuki kissed me, "I promise."

"I love you too, Natsuki." I rolled over and Natsuki put her arms around me. My kind started to wander and I started suddenly laughing. "Natsuki, would you still love me if I dyed my hair?"

"Yes."

"What if I was bald?"

"Nope."

"What?!"

Natsuki shrugged, "I'm sorry, but if you're bald then we're through."

I pouted, "I'd still love you if you cut your hair."

"Really? What if I cut it to my shoulders and dyed it red, then changed my name to Nao..."

-IPR-

Shizuru doubles over as an intense pain rips through her skull. The back of her head burns like it was cracked open and she feels a pulsing in the back of her head as if someone was cutting it. She screams as it becomes nearly unbearable. She looks up to see the doctor has not reacted, has not moved, has not even blinked.

"What is...?" She tries to recall the girl she had sex with the night before, but she can't picture her face, she can't remember the act, she can't even remember meeting her.

The pain subsides and she sits back in the chair, breathing hard. Al looks at her as if nothing has happened. "Would you care to continue?"

She calmed her breathing, but her memories of the previous night don't return. "I suppose we can go on to my junior year, when I ran for student council president."

**Eight chapters in, time for a twist. I'm anxious to see how this goes over.**


	9. Chapter 9

It was towards the end of junior year and Natsuki and I had been going out for over two years. We were both comfortable in our relationship and the school had moved on to bigger and better scandals. Most of those involved our resident prince, Reito, who was a shoe in for student council president.

Allow me to explain how the elections worked. At Fuuka academy the student council practically ran the school and as such were elected officials. Unlike standard elections, however, one didn't run for a particular office. At the end of the elections whoever had the most votes was elected president, second most was Vice President and so on down the list.

Natsuki had apparently been thinking about it. "You should run for student council, Shizuru."

"Me?" I didn't see myself as a popular girl, though thinking back on it I realize that many of the students had respect for me. Partly because of my public relationship with Natsuki, but mostly because of the few times I used my, as I called them, 'lawyer powers' to get either me or Natsuki out of trouble. Like the incident with us and the lipstick.

-IPR-

Me and Natsuki didn't get to see each other much in those days, so we used to sneak off to the restrooms during lunch and make out. We were sure to pick one far away from the cafeteria so no one ever used it. We had been going there for some time so, on this particular day, I guess we got careless.

We were making out like we always did when we heard a flush and, before either of us could react, one of the teachers stepped out of a stall and looked straight at us. I imagine we looked the sight, both of us out of breath, hair missed up, both of Natsuki's hands on my rear. The silence was deafening. "What on earth are you two doing?"

"Umm ... well ..." My mind reached for something, anything that could explain away how close we were. Then I remembered that I had worn lipstick that day. "You see, I was helping Natsuki apply her lipstick. Apparently her mother is never around and didn't show her how."

"Really?" The teacher looked skeptical so I grabbed Natsuki's head and shoved her lips into mine, held them there for a good minute then let her go. My lipstick now stained her lips and my lips smiled. "I see, but how do you explain her hands being all over you?"

"This is a co-ed bathroom, so Natsuki was holding my dress down for me while I helped her, in case any boys walked in."

The teacher looked at us suspiciously, and to this day I don't know if she put it together what we had been doing. What she did was shrug, wash her hands then left shaking her head. "Kids these days, so weird."

After she left, me and Natsuki shared a good long laugh, both at nearly being caught and at how foolish that teacher must be to believe all that. We still used that bathroom after that, but we never saw that teacher there again.

-IPR-

"Yes, you. I think you would be perfect for it. You're dad taught you all that lawyer stuff, you're smart and everyone loves you. You'd be great."

"No," I waved her away, "no one would vote for me."

She leaned in close and gave me a quick kiss. "You have at least one vote, babe."

I smirked at her. "It's too bad your vote doesn't count."

She pouted. "And why doesn't it count?"

I leaned in close and gave her a quick kiss. "Because everybody knows you're biased. I'll see you at lunchtime."

We split up to go to our classes. I sat down in my seat and took my school books out of my bag. I had been running the thought of running for student council through my head ever since Natsuki had mentioned it. I was weighing the pros and cons of having the position when a huge pro was thrown into my lap by none other than Reito. He had been talking with a few other students on his way in and I heard him mention rooting out 'undesirables' as he put them. I don't know what made me put two and two together: maybe it was the tone he used, or maybe it was the look he shot me when he sat down, a look that said 'you know who I mean'. Either way I knew then that he meant Natsuki and that I had to beat him in the election.

The election was all I could think about that day, even when the bell rang and I put my book bag in my locker because I was staying at Natsuki's apartment that night, even on the walk to her motorcycle and even when she walked up and we kissed. She must have sensed something was off because she asked, "Is everything okay?"

"What if I told you that I was thinking of running for student council?"

"I already told you I thought it would be a good idea. I'll help you any way I can." She handed me her spare helmet and helped me onto the bike. "If you're the student council president, does that make me the First Lady?"

I held on tight as she kicked the engine on. "I don't think it works like that. We'd have to be married."

She laughed aloud. "Then I'll have to ask you to marry me."

-IPR-

I lay in bed that night next to Natsuki who was sound asleep. I was thinking about the election and couldn't sleep. My mind was turning with schemes and plans to take out my adversaries. You may not know this about me because I don't look like it, but I can be a real shark when it comes to competitions. I see them as games, and I play the game very well.

When I was in middle school we had a competition where the students broke off into teams and had to present a group report on a book we had read, 'Of Mice and Men'. I don't really remember the report my group gave, it wasn't memorable. What was memorable was how, through manipulation and undermining, I had systematically ruined all of the other team's presentations making ours the best in the class. I don't remember the prize, I think it was longer recess that week, but I remember bringing those other people down and how it had made me feel so powerful.

I approached the student council election in the same way, plotting who would run and how I would bring each of them down. Reito was the first and, oddly enough, the easiest. I even planned against Natsuki, though I never told her I did. It would have killed me, but I would have destroyed her to win.

Natsuki stirred and nuzzled against me, murmuring in this way that I always found adorable. I decided then that I would do whatever it took to protect her.

-IPR-

The next day everyone was talking about the election and how Reito was sure to win. Natsuki and I entered together and saw Reito surrounded by a mob of supporters and sycophants. Natsuki looked worried. "He seems really popular. How are you going to beat him?"

"Who, him? He's easy." I approached and held my book bag in my hand. "Excuse me, I have a letter for Reito's girlfriend." Several girls turned to me in answer, then looked at each other angrily. It devolved into hair-pulling and name-calling and most of the people around him backed away. The look that Reito shot me in that moment could have killed so I shot him a smile. I looked at Natsuki, "There, he's taken care of."

"That was brutal. You're definitely going to win this." We turned a corner and found Yukino putting a poster up on the cork board. "Yukino, what are you putting up?"

"Posters for Haruka. She's running for student council."

"Wait, Haruka's running for student council?" I started laughing. "How is she going to do that. Half the students are afraid of her."

"Fear is a strong motivator, and people look for strength in their leaders. A lot of students will see that and vote for her."

It was a surprise to me. Out of all the scenarios I had envisioned this wasn't one of them. I had no plan against Haruka and Natsuki was right, fear is a great motivator. I had to do something about her and fast, but first thing was first, I had to put my name on the ballot.

I left Natsuki in the hallway and stepped into the administrative office. The secretary sitting behind the counter took notice of me and smiled warmly. "Hello, how may I help you?"

"I've decided to run for student council."

"What is your name?"

"Shizuru Viola."

She shuffled through the papers on her desk and wrote my name down on one of them. "Okay, you're all set. Good luck."

I returned the smile and headed for my first class where Reito was already seated. "That was mean of you, Shizuru. I'll have to find someway to get you back."

"While you're figuring that out, I'll be in the president's office. I'm not going to let you win."

"Then let the games begin."

Haruka walked in with Yukino in tow and approached my desk. "So, you're running too. Good luck, but I'm going to be president."

Reito laughed in his haughty way. "You, Haruka? It'll take more than Yukino's vote to win the presidency. Who else do you think is going to vote for you?"

Haruka was red in the face when she spun on him. "More people than will vote for you, Kanzaki, or do you think anyone will vote for an elitist jerk."

Reito smirked. "An elitist jerk with a great head of hair and a winning smile. That's all it takes to win these things. Confidence."

Haruka slammed her fist on his desk. "I'm confident that I'm going to kick your butt, Kanzaki. How will they vote for you when you have two black eyes?"

"I'll just say I was attacked by a barbarian and everyone will vote for me. What about you, Shizuru? You're precious Natsuki won't be enough to get you the presidency."

I laughed. "You think I need her to destroy the both of you. I could defeat you with my hands bound. Just be ready for war, because I'm not backing down."

This would be the last time the three of us would speak until after the election.

-IPR-

The race grew rather heated after that. Reito had gotten back at me by attacking my relationship with Natsuki. He had convinced several of the girls in my class to 'confide' in her that I had come on to them. Natsuki dismissed them with a shrug and told me about it later. I was happy she trusted me, but irate that Reito would go that far, so I decided to go after his family.

When a student didn't show up to enough classes a call was placed to their parents. I set up for one of those calls to be placed to Reito's mom. I didn't see her reaction to the news, but I had a front row seat for the aftermath. When she was through with him I thought we were all going to see him cry, but he kept his composure long enough to get to the car that waited for him. His numbers didn't recover after that.

Haruka was the only one of us who ran a clean campaign, and by clean I mean she didn't openly attack either of us. That didn't stop her from verbally berating us at every opportunity. At any given opportunity she would go off about how Reito was a 'pompous ass' and how I was a 'weak-willed woman'. She had started to gain support from many in the class, but there were many more who saw her as a blowhard. She lost a lot of ground when a rumor was spread that she was bullying some of the younger students. As much as I want to take credit for it, I had nothing to do with it.

It was the day of the election and all three of us sat in class and anxiously awaited the results. Ms. Sanada stood before us with the results in her hands. "This election was interesting. I've never seen one get so personal, but the results are in. Shizuru, you'll be the new student council president." My heart soared when I heard that. "Reito, you'll be student council Vice President, and Haruka will be head of the disciplinary committee." Reito and Haruka seemed to accept their loss with pride. At least if they had a problem with it they never mentioned it to me.

Both Reito and Haruka approached my desk and Haruka shook my hand. Seeing as we had to work together for the next year it was better that we got along. "Congratulations, Shizuru. You deserve it."

"Yes, congratulations. Sorry about going after Natsuki."

"You're just sorry it didn't work." I shook his hand and we both started laughing. "But I forgive you. It will be good to work with both of you in the coming year." I couldn't wait to tell Natsuki.

I finally got to when we saw each other at lunch time. I was eating in the cafeteria when she sat down next to me and I kissed her and asked, "So, how does it feel?" She looked at me questioningly. "To be dating the student council president, I mean."

"You won?! Congratulations." I never told her that she had been the reason I wanted the position, it just never came up.

I grabbed her hand and was surprised to feel a velvet box in it. She handed the box to me and I opened it, revealing a beautiful gold ring with diamond inlays. I stared at it for a good minute before I noticed she wore the exact same ring on her hand, only hers was silver. "Wha ...?"

"It's a promise ring, Shizuru. I promise to love you from the time we wake up to the time we go to bed, from today until the end of days and beyond. I want you by my side forever. So will you stay with me, Shizuru?" I was speechless. I don't know what I expected, but it wasn't this. She mistook my surprise for hesitation, however. "Is this a bad time?"

"Yes." She looked somber and right after that I realized what I had said. "No, yes to the ring, Natsuki. I want to be with you forever."

She took the ring and my hand. "Do you promise?"

In one day I had achieved two of my personal goals. My smile threatened to leave my face. "I promise." When she slid that ring onto my finger I thought my heart would explode. I felt that promise with all my heart and soul. Even now, in this place, I can feel her with me.


	10. Chapter 10

My senior year was very busy for me. Between attending school functions, mediating disputes and planning out the year's activities I had barely any time for rest. Natsuki and I didn't see much of each other that year.

Fortunately when my parents heard about my being elected president they were elated. So elated, in fact, that my father went out and bought me my first car. I was practically beaming as my father walked me around the car lot pointing out certain features, assuring me money was no object and being a general nuisance about the whole thing. We were approaching the end of the lot when I saw it.

It wasn't the make of the model that called out to me, I don't remember what kind of car it was or even who made it. It wasn't the top speed or the acceleration or the built in disk player, quite rare at the time, nor the leather seats that attracted me to this particular car. It was the color. Emerald green, the same color as Natsuki's eyes. As soon as I saw it I knew that it was the car I wanted.

My father protested. He pointed out that there were newer models of the same car on the lot, that the leather seats would crack with exposure and be too cool in the winter and too hot in the summer, that the disc player would drain the battery too quickly. I assured him that I didn't care about any of those things. That I wanted to drive a car that reminded me of Natsuki. He sighed and relented.

The first place I headed to with my new car was Natsuki's apartment. I knocked and knocked but she never answered. I guessed she wasn't at home. From there I headed to a nearby store and purchased a few CDs for the new player in my car. I headed directly home after that to call Natsuki and tell her the good news. I called, but no answer. A knot tightened in my stomach, Natsuki had always answered when I called her. I brushed it aside, _I'll see her at school tomorrow_ I thought as I lay my head down and fell asleep.

-IPR-

The next day I parked my car in the spot next to the one that Natsuki usually filled with her bike. I turned the car off and waited for Natsuki to show up, but I waited in vain. I waited as long as I could, but had to head to the president's office before she showed up. The knot in my stomach tightened a bit more.

I opened the door to my office and sat behind my desk, a desk that Natsuki and I had 'used' before. I still felt a tingle in my belly whenever I sat down behind it. I had to fill out some forms before class started, supplies for a carnival that I had spearheaded, and I'm always one for promptness. I had hoped that she would come bursting through the door and apologize for being late but the first bell rang and she never showed up. My stomach tightened even more.

I sat patiently through class waiting for lunch time, almost shaking at how much I wanted to see Natsuki. The lunch bell rang and I headed immediately for the bathroom that we met in. I threw the door open expecting to see blue hair and green eyes, expecting to meet soft lips and smooth skin. She wasn't there and my stomach knot turned to a full worry. I resolved to head immediately to Natsuki's apartment after school.

I waited patiently through classes and was about to run for my car when Reito caught up to me. "Hey, Shizuru, you didn't forget about the meeting this afternoon did you?"

Oh crap, I had forgotten. "Do you think you can run it for me? I need to check something."

"I noticed that Kuga wasn't in school today. Could it have something to do with that?" He knew, and his moment for revenge had come. I lowered my eyes and nodded, fully prepared for the worst, but Reito put a hand on my shoulder. "I can cover for you. Go find her."

I was overcome by his generosity, but more so with concern for my girlfriend. "Thanks, Reito. I'll make it up to you." I ran to my new car and drove straight to Natsuki's apartment, occasionally breaking the speed limits.

When I arrived I knocked furiously. "Natsuki." I called out. "Natsuki open the door." I knocked and knocked and was surprised when the door opened. It hadn't been locked. My heart and stomach did tandem somersaults as I stepped into the darkened apartment. "Natsuki?"

I walked carefully through the apartment, placing my feet softly so as not to make a sound. I stepped into the living room and nearly fainted. It was a disaster. Drawers were flung open and the sofa lay on it's side, the cushions were cast haphazardly around the room, the TV was shattered as if something had struck it. I held my hand over my mouth as I picked through the room and headed to the kitchen. It was much the same as the living room, drawers tossed around, the refrigerator lay open with food laying on the floor. "What happened here?"

The sound of pans clattering startled me and I nearly jumped out of my skin. A cat hopped up onto the counter and hissed at me before jumping out of the window. I let out the breath I had been holding and my panic increased. "Natsuki, please answer me." No answer, so I picked my way to the bedroom.

The door was shut. I turned the knob slowly, making as little sound as possible. I opened the door slowly and lying on her bed, wrapped up in a dozen or so blankets, was the love of my life. I don't know whether she woke up when I shouted her name or when I threw myself at her but she looked at me with the reddest eyes and coughed for a bit before she spoke. "Shizuru? Why are you here?"

Her voice was raspy and she sounded groggy. None of that stopped me from pulling her into the tightest hug I've ever given. "Oh, Natsuki, I was so worried when you didn't answer me and when you didn't show up for school so I came to look for you and found your door open and I was so scared something had happened to you." I had to catch my breath after that one.

"I must have forgotten to lock it."

"But the living room looked like a storm hit it."

"Yeah, I was looking for some aspirin but didn't find any."

"But what about the TV?"

"Yeah, I was playing my Nintendo when I got mad and threw my controller at the TV. I really do need to be more careful."

"But the refrigerator was open and food was lying everywhere."

"Dammit, that refrigerator falls apart sometimes. I've yelled and yelled at the apartment manager but he doesn't care."

"But the cat."

Just then the same cat came sneaking in through the window. Natsuki grabbed a nearby shoe and struck the cat right in the face. "Get out of here, you damn cat." The cat ran out the window screeching. "I hate cats." She started coughing again before she buried her head in my chest.

"Natsuki," I asked, "are you sick?"

"If I say yes, will you promise not to go all mom on me?"

I put on my best 'I don't know what you're talking about' look. "I don't know what you're talking about."

"Yes, Shizuru, I'm sick."

Natsuki lay down and I ran my hands through her hair. "Then I'm going to take care of you, but first I'm going to clean your kitchen."

I walked to the kitchen and immediately regretted my bravado. The kitchen was a disaster, but with perseverance, and finding some well placed cleaning products amongst the mess, I managed to get it done in only two hours.

My next chore was to find some chicken noodle soup for Natsuki, but a cursory sweep of the refrigerator left only several jars of mayonnaise and some lunch meat. Seriously, mayonnaise. So I grabbed my keys and made my way to the bedroom. "Natsuki?" I kissed her forehead, which felt like the side of an oven. "I'm going to the store to get you something to eat. I'll be right back, honey." She stirred but didn't wake up and I left the apartment and headed to my car.

I bought Natsuki some cans of chicken noodle soup and a bottle of NyQuil then rushed back to her apartment. I cooked the soup for Natsuki and gently woke her up. "Sit up, baby, I made some soup for you."

She ate a few spoonfuls. "You promised not to go all mom on me."

"No I didn't, now open up." I fed her the rest of the bowl and then handed her the NyQuil. She popped the cap and started drinking until I grabbed the bottle from her. "Easy, you'll die."

She lay back down, "I already am."

I rubbed her back and she purred. "Quit being dramatic. Get some rest."

She rolled over and I lay down beside her. We lay together in silence for a time. I don't remember how long, but the next time I looked at the clock it read 11:59. Natsuki rolled over and kissed me gently on the cheek. "I love you." She muttered as the clock struck twelve. I was so touched that I started laughing. She rolled back over and I got comfortable. "I promised." Her last words before blissful sleep.

-IPR-

I awoke to find the bed empty. I yawned and stretched, my clothes were dirty and I needed a shower. I got out of bed and found Natsuki in the kitchen. She looked a little better, but still a bit pale. Her eyes said thank you for taking care of me, while her words said "Good morning, sweetheart."

I kissed her and sat beside her. "Good morning, do you feel any better?"

"A bit, but not enough to ride. I guess I'll have to call in sick again today."

"Call in ..." Of course. I could have just asked the secretary if she had called in sick. As student council president I was privy to such information. "Right. I don't think that will be necessary. You can just ride with me."

"Is your mom coming to get you?"

"Come see for yourself."

I led her outside, she squinted at the first light she had seen in a day, and showed her to my new car. "Cool, you got a car. And it's a great color, too."

"It's the same color as your eyes, that's why I bought it." She smiled, I had touched her. "I need a shower, and I'll bet you do, too." I took her hand in mine, "Come on, I'll wash your back."

-IPR-

"I remember that car as if I just drove it." As soon as the words leave her mouth, the oxygen in her lungs follows. She choks and retches and tries to breath but it becomes impossible. Dr. Heinrich merely sits there and watches as she struggles in her chair, choking to death.

She begins to grow faint, when she hears it. It seems to come from the room around her, from everywhere at once. Natsuki's voice. "Breathe." _I'm trying, baby, I'm trying._ "Please, breathe Shizuru."

She is blacking out when the pressure in her chest ceases and the air returns to her lungs. She lies back in the chair and just breathes for a while. "Would you care to continue?" She hears his voice but it's distant, like she's hearing it from another room. He asks again, only this time it's clear. "Would you care to continue?"

"I should probably go home and change." She speaks the words, but when she tries to think about how she had gotten there she can't remember.

"Would you care to continue?"

**Ten chapters. What does everyone think so far? (taps on monitor) Is anyone reading this?**


	11. Chapter 11

_I'm going mad, but I know I'm going mad so I must not have gone mad yet. Mad, mad...no get that word out of there. I am not going to go mad, do you hear me? Shut up._

Haruka is going insane. She is sitting on her couch with her knees pulled up to her chest, rocking back and forth and trying to keep herself calm. Yukino sits beside her with a hand on her shoulder and a comforting look on her face. "What's wrong, Haruka? You can tell me."

"I don't know anymore, Yukino. What's real?" She reaches out and touches Yukino's face. "Are you real, Yukino? Tell me you're real."

"Of course I am, what else would I be?" Yukino takes Haruka's hand and holds it to her chest. "Tell me what's wrong."

Haruka's gaze turns glassy and she stares off into nothing. "Do you remember that time we went to my family's cabin for spring break?"

-IPR-

Said cabin was nestled in the foothills of northern Virginia and was owned by Haruka's father Robert Armitage. It was a small single-story, all wood structure built by hand by Haruka's great-great grandfather and passed down in the family for over a century. Now that the Armitages lived in the city it went unused, so when spring break of their senior year came around Haruka decided it was time to use it.

She had invited most of the class before Yukino gently reminded her that the cabin was quite small and there wouldn't be room for everyone. Haruka reluctantly uninvited everyone except Shizuru, Natsuki, Yukino, Reito and herself. Reito 'had something come up' and was unable to attend. The truth was that he had been sleeping with one of his mother's advisors and was planning on spending the week with her.

So that left the four girls packed in Shizuru's car driving out to the countryside. Shizuru was driving with Haruka sitting beside her in the passenger's seat because she had to show her the way, Yukino and Natsuki sat quietly in the backseat. Haruka frantically tapped Shizuru in the arm. "No, it was that last road. You missed it, turn around."

"Okay, calm down." Shizuru spun the car around and turned onto an unpaved dirt road that wound through the hills for ten miles before coming up to the Armitage's cabin. Shizuru parked the car in front and all four girls piled out. Natsuki complained about her legs hurting while Haruka went to unlock the house and Yukino started unpacking. Shizuru took in all the wild country. "It's beautiful out here."

Haruka returned and everyone got to unpacking. Shizuru lifted her bag and the sound of bottles clacking and liquid sloshing emanated from it. Haruka looked at her inquisitively. "What's in the bag, Shizuru?"

"Just a couple of bottles from my father's private stash. He won't miss them."

Natsuki took two more bags out that were Shizuru's and slung them over her shoulder then her own duffel bag. She sagged under the weight and Haruka, unfortunately, noticed. "Need some help there, Kuga?"

"What's in these, Shizuru?"

"Just clothes and things I'll need for a few days."

"Did you have to bring a wardrobe?"

"I need to have things to wear." Shizuru grinned at Natsuki, "Unless you want me to wear nothing. Do you want that, Natsuki?"

Natsuki blushed and Haruka spun around. "Hey, keep that flirty stuff to a minimum, okay? I don't want to see it all the time and neither does Yukino. Right?"

Yukino blushed in her mousy way. "It's kind of nice, I think. You know, to express your love for another person. It's beautiful."

"It's shameless and ill-mannered is what it is. If everyone kept to themselves the world would be a better place. Now come on, we've still got to turn on the generator and figure out what we're eating. I'm starving." Haruka stomped into the house followed by Yukino then Shizuru with Natsuki bringing up the rear.

The inside of the cabin was lavish, far more lavish than it appeared from the outside. A large rug sat in the center of the room surrounded on two sides by a pair of large red velvet couches and a matching recliner on the third side. On the walls hung pictures of Haruka's family through the years, Yukino looked through them until she found one of Haruka at around age ten. "You were an adorable little girl."

Natsuki set the bags down on the rug, "Yeah, what happened Haruka? You fall in a well?"

Haruka brandished a large kitchen knife at Natsuki. "As a matter of fact I was always big for my age so I got teased a lot. Well, until they realized that I could beat them up anyway. They usually left me alone after that." Haruka opened a door on one side of the cabin and tossed her bags inside." Yukino can sleep in this room with me and Shizuru, you and Natsuki can sleep in the guest room on the other side." Haruka went to the front door. "I'm going to turn on the generator, I'll be right back."

Shizuru and Natsuki took their bags to the guest room and started to unpack. Shizuru pulled out several bottles of wine and took them to the kitchen. When she returned, Natsuki had already unpacked her duffel bag and was laying on the bed with her eyes closed. Shizuru approached the bed and sat down, Natsuki opened her eyes. "Aren't you going to unpack? You've got a lot to do."

Shizuru laid down on the bed next to her and put her head on her chest. "That can wait, right now I want to relax." She yawned and listened to Natsuki's heartbeat. The rhythmic thumping relaxed her and, coupled with having driven the whole way there, she was asleep in moments.

The lights flickered on and the front door opened. "Lights are on. Who's cooking?" Haruka bellowed from the living room before plopping down on one of the couches.

Yukino came out of the main bedroom and walked to the kitchen. "I'll cook for you, Haruka." Then under her breath muttered, "Every day if you'll have me."

"What?"

"I said I'm making spaghetti."

"Sounds good. Where are Natsuki and Shizuru?"

The clatter of pots and pans sounded from the kitchen as Yukino took out what she needed. "The guest room, I think. They must be unpacking."

Haruka stood up and walked to the guest room door. She opened it and looked inside. Shizuru was asleep beside Natsuki who turned her head on the door. Haruka whispered, "Is she asleep."

Natsuki didn't whisper. "You don't have to whisper, she sleeps like a rock." Sure enough Shizuru didn't stir. "It was a long drive here, she must have been exhausted."

"Yukino is making spaghetti, it should be ready soon." Haruka stood in the doorframe for another moment. "I'm jealous of you two. You seem so happy when you're together. I want that some day."

"It never occurred to me to want to be this close to someone. Before I met Shizuru I always wanted to be alone, I was just more comfortable that way. I don't know what she did but she changed me. Now I can't imagine living without her."

"Are you happier now?"

"Happier? I wasn't unhappy being by myself, but being with Shizuru is ... satisfying. That's the word, satisfying." Natsuki tried to sit up but Shizuru wouldn't let her. "Now that I think about it, I'm kind of tired, too. I think I'll lay here for a while."

Haruka made a whipping sound and flicked her wrist, to which Natsuki made a face but didn't argue. "There will be food out here when you're ready."

She left and Shizuru hugged Natsuki tighter. "What happens when I have to go to the bathroom?"

"You'll just have to hold it."

"Right."

-IPR-

Shizuru woke up just before the sunset to an empty bed. She found Natsuki on the patio sitting comfortably in a chair with a glass of wine in her hand. Shizuru threw her arms around her and kissed her on the neck. Natsuki laid her head back, exposing more neck to her. She looked out over the world as the sun dipped just below the tree line and everything looked like it was covered in gold. A soft wind blew through the trees filling the earth with song. She spoke softly as if her voice might break the picture before them. "It's beautiful out here."

Natsuki found her lips for a kiss. "Yes it is."

"I see you already started on the wine."

Natsuki swirled the glass in her hand. "I wanted to wait for you, but Haruka was insistent that she didn't care."

Shizuru went inside to pour herself a glass then returned to the patio. She pulled a similar chair up to Natsuki's and sat next to her, taking her hand and holding it across the armrests. They sat in comfortable silence for long moments. Shizuru can't remember ever being happier. "Where are Haruka and Yukino?"

"Playing in the woods. Haruka mentioned some haunted house that she knew about. She asked if I wanted to go but I passed. No thank you."

"Maybe we should go, Natsuki, I want to see it." She laid her head back and looked at Natsuki with affection. "You'll protect me, right?"

"Nope, sorry I don't do ghosts."

Shizuru pouted. "So you'd let them take me and do all kinds of naughty things to me? You wouldn't even fight for me?"

Natsuki shook her head. "Not if it's ghosts, sweetheart."

Shizuru laughed. "Then maybe we should just stay here."

"Now you're talking sense."

-DSOF-

Meanwhile, Haruka and Yukino were walking through the woods in search of the haunted house that Haruka mentioned. The sun was going down and it had gotten dark beneath the trees. Yukino held tightly to Haruka's arm, both relishing her proximity and afraid of what lie ahead. The bushes near them rustled and Yukino shrieked and jumped on Haruka's back. "Hey, not so tight." From the bushes jumped a rabbit that looked directly at them before continuing on with it's day. "See, it's just a rabbit, now can you get off me."

"Sorry, Haruka." She got off her back, but refused to let to of her arm. They walked together for another minute or so before they came upon a small clearing in the woods. What remained of a cabin stood at the opposite end, it's roof had crashed down upon it making it look more like a pile of lumber than a house. What sent chills down Yukino's spine wasn't the house itself. It was the silence and stillness that seemed to occupy the clearing.

"This house used to belong to a family we knew, but they moved away. The rumor is that their only son had died in his bed and the parents, unable to stand the grief, moved away to the city after strange things started happening around the house." Haruka was whispering, as if her very voice could break the spell. Yukino clutched her arm tighter. "If you listen really carefully, you can hear his name on the wind."

Yukino picked her ears up, when the wind blew through the broken timbers if the house it did seem to say "Shawn". Or it could have been Haruka whispering the name under her breath. Either way, Yukino grabbed Haruka by the waist and held on for dear life. The timbers groaned as they settled and Yukino shook. "Let's go back, Haruka. I don't like this place."

But Haruka's thoughts weren't there. They were, in fact, with the boy who had lived in that house who was now dead. A boy that was close to her when she was growing up. Her face was blank but her thoughts raced behind her sightless eyes. "I wonder what it would be like if he had lived. If we would have dated or married? How he would have proposed to me?"

"Who?" Yukino was confused and scared, a terrible combination for the brunette. "Who are you talking to, Haruka?"

Haruka shook the memories from her head. "No one. Let's head back and see what those two lovebirds are up to."

When they arrived back at the cabin both Shizuru and Natsuki were drunk, sitting in easy chairs on the patio. Natsuki had been trying, terribly I might add, to sing a love song to Shizuru who was almost falling out of her chair laughing. Natsuki stopped and sulked. "I told you I can't sing. It was your stupid idea in the first place."

Shizuru placed a kiss on the tip of her nose. "It was romantic, baby, but you're right. You sound terrible."

"What is going on here? Are you two drunk?" Haruka stormed onto the patio. She noticed the empty wine bottles sitting near them. "How much have you had?"

Shizuru tried to lift her head, but it wobbled so much that she laid it back down again. "Calm down, Ha ... Ha-ru-ka. We came out here to relax and that's just what we're doing."

"Well come inside, then. It gets pretty cold out here at night." Yukino followed Haruka into the house while Shizuru and Natsuki tried to stand, but only together did they manage to get into the house to plop down on one of the couches. Haruka and Yukino sat down on the opposite couch with a glass of wine apiece.

"So did you find that haunted house, or whatever."

"Yes." That was all Haruka said about it, which was good because Natsuki had fallen asleep before she could hear the answer, Shizuru fell right on top of her. "Well, Yukino, I guess it's just you and..." Haruka felt a weight fall on her shoulder, Yukino had fallen asleep beside her. She downed her glass and the rest of Yukino's then sighed. "I need to find new friends."

-IPR-

Shizuru woke up in the morning with a pounding headache and a stomach doing somersaults. She jumped out of bed and had to find the restroom before her stomach emptied itself. When she returned to the bedroom Natsuki had woken up and was looking at her. Her voice was groggy and her eyes were dull. "Good morning, Shizuru. Feel better?"

"Not much." She fell into bed beside Natsuki and held her close, put her head on her chest and closed her eyes. "I'm hungry."

Natsuki laughed, "Let's go find something to eat, then."

Shizuru got shakily to her feet and Natsuki took her by the arm and led her to the living room. Haruka was already up and bacon was sizzling in a skillet over the stove. "You guys want eggs and bacon? You look like you need it."

Shizuru managed a nod. "Where's Yukino?"

As if on cue, the door to the other bedroom opened and Yukino appeared red-eyed and disheveled. She stumbled over to the counter and sat down. "Good morning, lightweight. Want some breakfast?" Yukino managed a nod and Haruka laughed. "Drink some orange juice, you'll feel better."

**This story is more difficult for me to write than the others, so the delay between chapters is longer. Thank you for your patience, and I hope you're still enjoying the story.**


	12. Chapter 12

**I toyed with the concept of removing this little side story, it sure caused me enough trouble. My intention was to make Haruka a bigger character, but in the end I feel it just detracts from the overall experience. I may still remove it later, but for now here is I Promised chapter 12.**

Shizuru lay in bed enjoying Natsuki's warmth next to her. It was the last day of their 'vacation' and she wanted to enjoy every minute of it. She took in the smell of her hair, the soft skin of her thigh, the feel of her firm stomach. _If there is a heaven, this must be it._

Natsuki stirred, her green eyes opened and, before she could speak, her mouth was engulfed in a passionate kiss. She turned her body to make it more comfortable and returned the kiss, the familiar fire that Shizuru sparked in her burned and she lost herself in it.

The kiss broke and they were left breathless in each other's arms. Shizuru smiled down at her dark-haired lover, relishing the blush on her cheek. "Good morning, sweetheart."

"Good morning, bella." Natsuki yawned and stretched. "You make an amazing alarm clock, Shizuru. I want you to wake me up like that every morning for the rest of my life."

"That's going to be hard to do from my bedroom, but I'll think of something." She mulled it over for a moment before she snapped her fingers. "I know, telepathy. That's a thing, right?"

Natsuki laughed and put her arms around her girlfriend. "No, that's not a thing." She grew serious. "What would you think of moving in with me, though? We can get a bigger place if you don't like the one I'm in."

"Moving in together, isn't that a bit sudden?"

"I don't think so. We've been dating for a few years now and, after this trip, I realized that I want to go to sleep with you every night and wake up to your beautiful smile every morning. I want to eat breakfast with you then head to work where I'll sit behind a desk and count the hours until I can see you again. Then, after a hard day's work, I can come home and you'll kiss all the stress away. It'll be perfect."

"Father won't let me do anything until I graduate, but that's this year so after that I'd love to move in with you. Of course, I'll be working too, at my own law firm. Just like father."

"I'm going to have to steal you from your father, then."

"You already did, why do you think he doesn't like you?"

Natsuki pouted her lips slightly, an expression that Shizuru found adorable. "I thought he liked me."

"If it was up to him I'd still be dating Reito."

Natsuki shivered. "I can't imagine what that would be like. He's so...stuck-up." Natsuki cleared her throat and continued in her best impression of Reito. "Oh, I didn't see you there, I was too busy staring at myself in the mirror." Shizuru broke out into laughter and Natsuki kissed her bare shoulder. "I love you, Shizuru."

"I love you too, Natsuki, but what I'd love right now is some breakfast."

-IPR-

"Yukino, there you are." Haruka had been looking for Yukino around the estate and found her in one of the back rooms looking at an old rifle. "Do you like it?"

Yukino turned around slowly, "It looks old." She ran her hand along the stock and noticed a name carved into it, 'Diana'. "Real old."

"She belonged to my great-great grandfather. He named it after his wife Diana Armitage and it was passed down to his daughter, my great-great aunt also named Haruka Armitage. She took it with her when she served in Japan and quelled the Samurai Insurrection. When she returned, she kept it here in the house and never used it again." Haruka walked over to a chest in a corner of the room and pulled from it an old, cracked picture of two women. One of them looked very much like Haruka. "That's her, and the other one is her lover. They met while she was in Japan and fell in love. My mom would always tell me the story, how Armitage women are always strong."

"She was right." An idea struck Haruka and she grabbed the rifle from it's stand. "What are you doing?"

Haruka dug through the chest and withdrew an ancient box of ammunition. "I'm going to do something I always wanted to do. I'm going to shoot this gun."

Yukino followed Haruka into the living room where Shizuru and Natsuki sat on the couch together. Natsuki didn't react when she saw Haruka with a gun, Shizuru did. "What are you doing with that?"

"I'm going to shoot it."

Haruka explained simply, Shizuru and Natsuki followed her and Yukino out of the back door. Haruka stopped a good distance from the house and set the box of ammo on the ground, taking out of the box a single large shell. She slid it into the rifle and cocked the handle. She raised it up to her shoulder and looked down the sight. Yukino wrung her hands in worry.

"Haruka, that gun is over a hundred years old. What if it doesn't shoot?"

Haruka pulled the trigger and the hammer struck the powder, all three of the girls covered their ears from the sound. Their ears still rang. The kick of the gun knocked Haruka to the ground. She dropped the gun and held her ears, drops of blood flecked through her fingers.

Natsuki was the first to recover from the blast. "Wow, that was ridiculous."

Shizuru had buried her head in Natsuki's shoulder, she looked up at her. "What? I can't hear anything."

Yukino was dazed. When she noticed Haruka on the floor she thought the worst, but when her hearing returned she noticed Haruka was laughing. Haruka was still laughing when she sat up, twin streams of blood running from her ears. Yukino knelt beside her. "Are you okay?"

"That was awesome." She cradled the rifle across her lap. "I feel so powerful, like I could take on the world. Does anyone else want to try?" The other girls shook their heads with wide eyes. "Fine, have it your way."

Shizuru's eyes tried to follow the bullet's trajectory but was blocked by brush and the woods. "I wonder if you hit something."

Natsuki shrugged. "There's no way to tell from here, we'd have to go into the woods and find the bullet."

"Forget that, I'm not traipsing out into the woods." Haruka took the rifle and the box of ammo and walked towards the house rotating her shoulder and muttering to herself.

As soon as Haruka was out of earshot, Yukino sighed. "Why can't I have the relationship with her that you two have?"

Shizuru responded, "Have you asked her?"

"Well, no. She could never accept me like that."

"You never know unless you try."

-IPR-

The four girls sat around the dinner table and ate the casserole that Shizuru had made for them. None of them spoke until Natsuki put forth a question that had been on her mind for a while. "What do you intend to do after graduation?"

Shizuru assumed that Natsuki had been asking her. "I'm going to go to law school and open up my own practice."

Yukino was prepared with an answer. "I've always wanted to be a teacher."

Haruka had been planning for her future since she was a little girl. "I'm going to go to business school so I can take over the family business after my father retires. What about you, Natsuki? What are your plans?"

Natsuki hung her head, "To be honest, I don't really know. I've been thinking about it for a while and I just don't know. I don't have a family trade or anything that I'm especially good at."

Shizuru smirked, "I can think of a few things you're good at." Natsuki blushed. "Like taking care of your motorcycle. You fix it yourself, don't you?" Natsuki nodded, "You could do that."

"Be a mechanic? I don't know."

"You could always be my housewife, you know stay at home and take care of the kids." Shizuru touched her chin in a thoughtful pose, "Except that you're a terrible cook, and you're not great at cleaning. Now that I think about it, you'd be a terrible housewife."

"Just how are we going to have kids, Shizuru?"

"A surrogate." Natsuki didn't pry any further, only finished what was on her plate and got up to serve herself more. Shizuru grabbed her by the arm and held her, "Natsuki, you've already eaten two plates. Maybe you should slow down."

Natsuki's eyes narrowed, "I'm still hungry." She said slowly, enunciating every syllable. "What are you trying to say, exactly?"

Shizuru smiled an innocent smile. "I'm worried about your health, darling."

Natsuki wrenched her arm from Shizuru's grip, set the plate on the table and stomped towards their bedroom shouting "I can't believe you think I'm fat."

Shizuru followed her into the room pleading with her to calm down while Haruka laughed at the ridiculousness of the situation and Yukino cleared the table. When she was done she laid down on a couch in the main room of the cabin and stared up at the ceiling when she felt something tap on her leg. She curled up and Haruka sat on the couch next to her. "Are you alright? You were staring off into nothing for a while."

"Haruka, there's something I want to ask you, but I don't know how you're going to react."

Haruka sighed. "Yukino, don't." She looked at the floor. "Just don't. I love you, Yukino, but not in that way. I don't want you to be angry with me or hate me, I just want to be friends with you."

Haruka buried her head in her hands, much as she was doing now, and was surprised when skinny arms wrapped around her. "I could never hate you, Haruka, and I understand. I just want to be by your side."

I just want to be by your side.

-IPR-

Haruka looks up to find that she's alone in the room. "Yukino?" Her eyes widen as she gets up off the couch. "Yukino?" The kitchen is empty and so are both bedrooms and the bathroom. She starts to panic, "Yukino!?"

She finds Yukino facing away from her in the hallway. "Oh thank god, I thought you had left." She turns her around and immediately recoils, covering her mouth to supress the scream that threatens to burst from her. Yukino's face is gone and the rest of her begins to dissipate like a mist in a stiff breeze.

"I just want to be by your side."

Her body dissipates fully and she can no longer contain the scream that escapes her. "Holy shit, I really am going crazy." She fumbles around the living room, knocking over her tv and coffee table looking for her phone. She finds it and tries to dial Shizuru, if anybody could make sense of this then she could. The phone rings, rings again, rings a third time and Haruka throws the phone across the room. "I've got to get out of here."

She roots around until she finds her keys and runs out of her apartment at full sprint. "It's five-fifteen, so Shizuru must be at her appointment. I need her help if I'm going to make it through this." She finds her car parked where she remembers it being and struggles to put the key in the lock. She looks around her and noticed that the world seemed to be getting brighter, as if she were staring into headlights.

Her breathing is fast and her heart is racing as the key finally turns and she rips the door open and slides into the driver's seat. The engine hums on and she slams it into reverse, tearing out of the parking lot and barely making the turn onto the street.

She barrels through traffic at high speed as the world continues to get brighter, blinding her. The sounds of honking and engines seem distant and she begins to feel like she's floating before she feels the impact and is sent through the windshield that she can no longer see or feel. The car strikes the light post and turns on it's side, rolling end over end several times before coming to rest upside down in the middle of the street.

-IPR-

"Would you care to continue?"

Shizuru is shaken from her experience and struggles to pick up the next part of her story. "I suppose the next step is graduation."


	13. Chapter 13

It was graduation day and I nearly jumped out of bed, I was very excited. I took an extra hot shower that day, put on a beautiful white dress that my mother had bought me and looked at myself in the mirror. I remember thinking that my shower must have been too hot because my skin looked red against the white silk and sighed. Nothing I could do about it, right?

I walked slowly down the stairs and was surprised when I heard applause. My mother and father were waiting downstairs and were clapping as I descended to them. "Congratulations, honey. Do you like the dress? Your mother picked it out."

"It's beautiful, dad."

He walked up and wrapped me in a tight hug. "Are you nervous? You look red."

"No, I just took a hot shower and am now regretting it."

We laughed together as he let me go. He took a step back and my mom hugged me, too. "Congratulations, Shizuru. Where's Natsuki? I thought she would be here."

As if on cue the sound of her motorcycle engine filled the room then shut off. Her key turned in the lock and the she flew into the room wearing a long blue dress that I wondered how she had worn on the highway on a motorcycle. I never asked her. "Sorry I'm late, I had to wait for my mom to call. She's coming to graduation so I told her I'd meet her there." She approached and we kissed. "That dress looks amazing on you, but are you sunburned or something?"

I rolled my eyes. "No, Natsuki. I took an extra hot shower and it left me a little red." I looked her up and down and was impressed by what I saw, her hair was loose over her bare shoulders exposed by her dress that fit her form like a glove all the way past her knees and to her heels. I wondered how she had driven her motorcycle in heels but, again, I never asked. I merely looked and smiled as I often did causing a blush to appear on her face. "Are you ready to go?"

"Sure, are we taking your car or my bike?"

"Neither." My father interrupted. "Since we will be attending I thought we might wish to attend in style." He opened the door for us and we were greeted by a handsome driver in a tuxedo standing next to a black limousine. "I took the liberty of renting a limo for the day, so shall we."

"Wait." My mother opened her purse and took out a camera. "Shizuru, you and Natsuki stand over by the house, I want to get one of you two all dressed up." We stood in front of the house and Natsuki put her arm around me. Just before the flash I leaned in and gave her a quick kiss on the cheek. I still have that picture...somewhere.

Afterwards we hopped into the waiting limo and rode to the academy. It was my first time ever riding in a limo. I remember sitting next to Natsuki, her hand warming mine on the seat between us, across from my parents who made use of the nearby minibar.

That ride felt longer than it normally did to get to Fuuka, but in reality it took about the same time. The driver opened the door and my mom exited first, she was anxious to stretch her legs and secretly wanted to be seen getting out of a limousine. She must not have realized the class of students who attended Fuuka academy, most of the students arrived in limousines.

Reito exited a particularly flashy one, decorated with flags representing his native country. He helped his mother out of the car, who wore a beautiful blue satin dress with a matching shawl, and took her arm as they walked to the auditorium where the ceremony was to be held.

One of the only students to not arrive by limo was Yukino, she was dropped off by her mother who kissed her goodbye and apologized that she had to work that evening. She swore that she would get off early and try to be there when she walked the stage. I don't remember if she kept her word.

Haruka arrived in a limousine similar to ours, in fact I think they were from the same company because I distinctly remember the two drivers sharing a smoke as we walked to the auditorium. The noise of conversation filled the entirety of the space when we walked into the room. Every student who had started at Fuuka at the same time as us had graduated, no one had fallen behind. The stage was decorated with a type of lily that symbolized ambition, a large podium stood at the forefront where I, as class president, would have to give the opening speech. A speech that I was, more or less, prepared to give.

I stood hand-in-hand with Natsuki, my parents similarly behind us when we were approached by Saeko who looked rather out of place in her dark pantsuit with her hair tied in a neat bun. "Natsuki, are you here to watch your girlfriend walk the stage." She smirked in that way that meant she was teasing Natsuki.

Natsuki responded in her usual way, by rolling her eyes. "I'm graduating too, mother, or did you forget that?"

"Then I guess I'm out fifty bucks." Her smirk increased at a rate parallel to Natsuki's rising annoyance. She noticed my parents standing behind us and stepped passed us, holding her hand out. "You must be Mr. and Mrs. Viola, I'm Saeko Kuga, Natsuki's mother."

My father shook her hand. "It's a pleasure, Saeko, I'm Masato and this is my wife Reiko." My mother shook her hand as well. "You must be excited to see Natsuki graduate."

"Surprised, more like." She looked towards Natsuki who turned and walked away, letting go of my hand and muttering something about finding is something to drink. Saeko chuckled. "In all seriousness, it is exciting to be here. When I signed her up for this school I wasn't sure she would make it. It's good to see her mature." She turned back to my parents. "I hear she caused you plenty of trouble. Did you make up with your daughter?"

My father would avoid the topic whenever possible, but I guess he felt comfortable enough with Saeko to discuss it. "The problem was mine, Ms. Kuga. I was too blinded by my own selfishness to see that Natsuki truly made Shizuru happy. As I've gotten to know her I find that I actually like her."

My mother tossed in her two cents. "She's been a good influence on Shizuru, I'm glad that she and Shizuru are together."

Saeko scratched her head. "We're talking about my daughter here, right? This is quite a change from how she used to be. She was quite the hellion in her younger days. I remember the first time she brought a girl home, I was livid. She and I didn't speak for months after that, but I finally came to my senses and realized that she was more important to me than some quarrel. Soon after that she started attending Fuuka and, since I work in DC, I found her an apartment nearby and we've been better since."

"You must really care for her."

"I do," Saeko turned to me, "but I still think you're too good for her." She smiled and Natsuki returned, handing me a soda from a nearby machine. "You didn't bring one for me? I'm glad I raised such a considerate daughter." Natsuki started to fire back but Saeko wrapped her up in a hug. "I'm proud of you, Natsuki."

Natsuki didn't say it, but I noticed that she was touched by her mother's gesture.

Ms. Sanada picked that moment to walk up. "Sorry to interrupt, but everyone is ready." Natsuki and I followed her to the front of the auditorium where all the other students stood including Haruka, Yukino and Reito. As the student council president and Vice President me and Reito took our places at the front of the line. I would have to give a speech and introduce the valedictorian and salutatorian of the class.

Ms. Maria stood at the podium, much as she had on our first day. "You are all here because you have proven yourself to be the best and the brightest, and I am proud now to let you all out into the world. Now, your student council president would like to say a few words. Ms. Viola."

Ms. Maria stepped back and I took the podium to a wave of applause. I could see my father and mother clapping for me from the middle of the room. "Thank you all for coming, and congratulations on your graduation. It was a long road, full of trial and tribulations but you survived. The reward for all your hard work is to be able to call yourselves graduates of Fuuka academy. A noble honor."

Ms. Sanada approached and handed me the certificates for the valedictorian and salutatorian. "Now, to announce the salutatorian of your graduating class. Ms. Aoi Senou." I had never met Ms. Senou as she was from class two, an average looking brown haired girl approached the stage and I handed her the certificate. "Congratulations Ms. Senou, your dedication to excellence has granted you this singular honor." She waved to, who must have been, her parents and she left the stage to much applause.

"Now, the class valedictorian is..." I read the name on the paper with such shock that the room stood still when I was finished. "Natsuki Kuga?!"

Natsuki stepped forward and approached the podium, a broad smile on her face that filled my heart with joy and my mind with confusion. I knew she was intelligent, but valedictorian. I smiled as I handed her the certificate, our eyes met and I shuddered. My mouth opened but I couldn't say the words. So I blurted out the first thing that came to my mind. "I love you."

The silence deepened and I blushed at having uttered such a thought in front of the entire student body. Natsuki's smile never faded, she merely threw her arms around my neck and pulled me into a kiss. "I love you, too." Applause rose from the audience as Natsuki stepped off the stage and found Saeko in the crowd.

I read off the names of the remaining graduates, each one filed by to receive their diploma before joining their relatives in the crowd. Most walked to applause of some sort, some to more than others. Reito received more than his fair share as did Yukino. I noticed that most of Yukino's applause came from one side of the stage where a great many of, what I assumed to be, her family stood. When she stepped off of the stage she approached them and was nearly engulfed by hugs and praise. Haruka walked to some applause, but I noticed that she joined Yukino and her family after she took her diploma. I guessed that her own family couldn't attend.

After the last person had walked across the stage Ms. Maria handed me my diploma and thanked me for being an excellent president. I bowed my head and stepped off of the stage to the loudest applause yet. I found my parents standing with Saeko and Natsuki, my father and mother both hugged me and Saeko shook my hand and congratulated me. I stood next to Natsuki, who held my hand until the ceremony was over.

Ms. Maria took over the podium. "Congratulations to all who graduated today, and condolences for all those lost along the way." This is normally the part where she would read the names of those who didn't make it, but since our whole class had graduated she stood silent. We cheered. "This is a first. I don't remember a year where not a single student failed out." She stood in silence for a moment. "Well then, that is all. Congratulations and we hope to hear good things from all of you."

Ms. Maria left the stage and the ceremony ended, the crowd started to split up and go their separate ways. I stayed with Natsuki but somehow my parents got lost in the shuffle. Just outside of the auditorium we met up with Haruka and Yukino standing apart from the others. Haruka waved as we approached. "Come on, we're going to check out the campus one last time. Take a trip down memory lane."

I walked hand-in-hand with Natsuki following Haruka and Yukino through the halls of Fuuka and taking in the last we would see of the place. We passed the hallway where Haruka fought to defend Yukino and Natsuki had taken the blame. We continued passed the restroom me and Natsuki often used and into our homeroom class where we had spent the last four years. Except Natsuki since she was in class two.

We sat in the seats we had taken when we were students, Natsuki sat next to me in what had been Reito's seat. I found it ironic. We sat together and reminisced until Saeko found us and we left the building for the last time. Haruka and Yukino said goodbye and left to find their parents while mine were waiting for me at the limousine. "Shizuru, we invited Ms. Kuga to join us for dinner."

"You're usually so anti social, mother."

Natsuki commented dryly, to which Saeko replied, "I thought it would be nice to have dinner with the parents of the girl who's wasting her life with you."

Natsuki angered at the comment and my parents chuckled awkwardly, still unsure about their strange relationship. I laughed, and Natsuki took my hand. "Come on, Shizuru. I'm riding with you."

"We both are, or did you think your little bicycle was going to carry both of us?"

"It's a Ducati, mom."

"I know, I bought you the damn thing. You never even thanked me for it."

I sat down next to Natsuki on one side while my parents and Saeko sat across from us. My mother chuckled while both Natsuki and Saeko huffed and folded their arms. "You're both so alike, like Shizuru and Masato. They're both so hard headed. She must get it from him because I'm so easy going."

My father rolled his eyes in a way that always made Natsuki laugh. She would say it was because I gave her the same look. I will deny that to this day.

-IPR-

That night we sat around a table in Chez Minuet, one of the most exclusive restaurants in the city. My father bragged that he had reserved the table before I had even started at Fuuka. When I asked him what he would have done had I failed he merely replied, "Then I would have saved it for your wedding."

Saeko had ordered a bottle of wine for the parents while me and Natsuki drank water and looked over the menu trying to decipher some of the ridiculous names for food. I settled on what appeared to be chicken on a bed of pasta with alfredo sauce that looked very appetizing. Natsuki couldn't decide on a dish so she ordered the same as me.

Saeko and my mother were embroiled in conversation while my father took the opportunity to talk to Natsuki about her Ducati. "So do you maintain it yourself, or do you have a mechanic look at it?"

"For the most part I handle the regular maintenance. If something major fails I'll take it to the mechanic for convenience. Since I live in an apartment without a garage I don't have a place to work on it myself."

"It sounds like you're self-sufficient. What are your plans going forward? College?"

"I would like to someday, but I have yet to decide what I want to study. For now I think I'll find a job, something that pays well, until I've made up my mind."

I don't remember how I came to the idea, but I decided that now was the time to have a conversation I had been waiting to have with my father. "I've decided to go to Harvard law, follow in your footsteps."

My father smiled. "I thought you would."

I wrung my hands with worry. This was the part of the conversation I was dreading. "I've been thinking that it would be much easier for me to get to school from the city," My father nodded, following me but not quite seeing the end yet. "and since Natsuki lives in the city," It slowly dawned on him what I was asking. "I thought that I could move in with her."

My father's face was expressionless. Saeko and my mother had stopped their conversation and turned their attention to Masato who looked like a deer caught in the headlights. "You're really catching me off guard, Shizuru. This is sudden."

"Not at all, I've actually been thinking about it for some time now." That was no lie, it had been on my mind since our spring break trip when Natsuki and I had discussed it. "I think it would be beneficial for both of us if we moved in together."

Before my father could respond Saeko decided that this was the time to unveil her graduation gift to her daughter. "How interesting, and do you think you two will be comfortable in Natsuki's efficiency apartment? That space would get pretty cramped for the two of you."

"We can make it work." Natsuki countered.

"Of course you could, my dear. You're a survivor, but how fortunate that you don't have to." All of the eyes at the table were on her now. "I've kept a small house on the outskirts of the city for some time now, waiting for the right moment to give it to you. I think this is the right moment." Natsuki's eyes widened. "I mean, valedictorian? I'm extremely proud of you, Natsuki."

That moment was the closest I've ever seen Natsuki to crying. Her eyes watered, she stood and gave her mom a big hug thanking her profusely. After that my father had his say. "It saddens me, not to see you move in with Natsuki, but to see you moving out of my house. I've been preparing for this day, but I thought I still had more time." My father patted me on the arm. "If this is what you've decided, then I'm happy for you."

Now it was my turn to have misty eyes. "Thanks, dad. You're the best."

"I must say, though, I think it would be a waste not to use your talents." My father returned to his conversation with Natsuki. "Even I wasn't valedictorian of my graduating class, Natsuki. You could be anything you want to be."

"That's the problem with anything, having so many options that not one stands out. I'll decide eventually, but for now I'm content to be with Shizuru and support her any way I can."

By then the waiter had returned with our food, which I devoured as I hadn't eaten anything else that day. Natsuki hadn't finished her food so, as usual, I ate what remained on her plate while she leaned back in her chair and talked to her mother. "So how big is this house?"

"It's a three bedroom, two bath. Probably more space than you need right now, but when you two have children you'll have a place to put them."

Natsuki swallowed. "Children? And how exactly would we have children?"

"I've already told you, a surrogate."

I joined in the conversation as soon as I had finished Natsuki's food. "I'm not going to let some guy touch you, even for one night."

I smirked. "Who says he'll touch me?"

Natsuki blushed. "That's not happening either."

"I didn't say you'd have to enjoy it." I leaned in close to her and whispered in her ear. "What if he was really handsome?" Her blush deepened. "Dark hair, green eyes and a perfect smile." Just then I noticed the name tag on our waiter. Thomas Franz.

-IPR-

Shizuru shakes as another part of her memory fails her. She tries to recall her husband's face, his smile, his laugh, anything. It's in vain, and she feels more of her world melt away from her. She feels something tear at her and can't explain the feeling, but somehow she knows that Haruka is gone from this place. Her world is crumbling around her, she feels as if even the ground before her will give way to the blackness of eternity. A sleep without dreams.

She writhes in the chair like she is aflame yet still he watches, like a silent judge listening to her testimony before granting her pardon or condemning her. The psychiatrist, or is that neurosurgeon, merely looks on in quiet patience. "Later that year me and Natsuki moved into that house together."


	14. Chapter 14

**I hope this is the last rewrite I have to do for this chapter, but it was brought to my attention that the previous chapter 14 was grossly out of character for Natsuki and presented her in a weak light. I'm hoping this revision clears that up and presents her as a stronger, but collapsing, character. I have also changed some relevant parts in the following chapters so I recommend rereading everything passed this point. Thank you all for reading and I hope you understand.**

Al holds his hand up to stop her as she begins to tell the next part of her story. "Perhaps you should do something more recent. How about the accident? Why don't you tell me about the accident?"

"Okay, the accident. Right." She tries to remember the details, but a fog keeps her from seeing it clearly. She digs deep and starts to unearth the memories, like a tresure hunter searching for the remnants of a lost civilization. After she had picked out enough to put it into words she begins. "I remember being worried about Natsuki."

-IPR-

I sat in my first year Constitutional Law class trying to listen to the lecture but I couldn't hear over the sound of my droning thoughts. As I found I often did, I was thinking about Natsuki. When we had moved in together everything seemed to be going so well, we were both so happy together. But after we both started school we weren't able to spend as much time together as we used to. This became especially pronounced after she got an internship at a local mechanic shop and she was either at school or at work and when we did get to see each other either she or I were too tired to do much of anything. This ran through my head until three o'clock when I grabbed my book bag, put on my heavy coat against the freezing temperatures and headed home.

It had been Natsuki's day off from the garage, though she had still had class, so I hopped up the steps of our small house with excitement. I opened the door hoping to see her beautiful face to greet me, but she wasn't there. The lights were all off and the room looked undisturbed. I noticed the door ajar to our bedroom and the light on so I crept over and peeked inside.

Natsuki lay on her back on the bed staring straight up at the ceiling, she still wore the underclothes she had worn the night before. I opened the door and greeted her warmly. "Hi, beautiful." She didn't immediately respond, only continued to stare at the ceiling. As I got closer I realized that she wasn't looking up, she was asleep. She stirred when I sat down on the bed to take off my shoes. I tossed my shoes in a corner of the room, swearing to pick them up later, and threw my legs up on the bed to lay down beside her. "Sorry, I didn't mean to wake you. I know you must be tired."

"It's okay. I wanted to be awake when you got home, but I guess my weariness caught up to me." She smiled warmly at me and I kissed her on the forehead. I loved her, and it's because of this love that I was working so hard then. Times were tough, but once they were over we would have the rest of our lives to make up the time. At the time, though, it was quite the ordeal. She reached up and took my chin, pressing a soft kiss to my lips. "Now that I'm awake, maybe we can make up for some lost time."

We made love furiously, making up for the weeks of separation with passion. Afterwards I lay on my back, sweat running down my body with Natsuki holding onto me. She looked up into my eyes. "It's been a while since we've been able to do that. I miss doing this with you every day."

"I know, but it will all be worth it. When I'm running my own law firm and you're running your own garage we'll be able to be together." I laid my head back and she nuzzled into my neck.

"But will we though? You'll be busy with cases all the time, and running a garage takes a lot of work. It'll be just the same as it is now, we'll still be apart."

"But we both need to make a living, Natsuki. How else are we supposed to do that?"

"I don't know." She sighed. "Maybe it's better this way. What's that old saying, "Absence makes the heart grow fonder.""

"Well then I'm growing very fond of you, sweetheart." I held her close to me, relishing the little time that we managed to spend together. In a way, not being able to see her all the time made me enjoy the time we spent together far much more than I would have. Maybe those old sayings had some truth to them. "Do you have a busy schedule tomorrow? Maybe we can meet for lunch somewhere?"

"I have my morning class tomorrow, which lets out at eleven and I don't have to be at the shop until two, so I've got plenty of time for lunch tomorrow. Where do you want to go?"

"I was thinking italian. I've been in the mood for pasta, and there's this small restaurant downtown that I've been wanting to try. Why don't we meet there at noon? Does that sound good?"

"That sounds perfect, bella."

"I love you, Natsuki."

"I love you too, Shizuru."

If I had known this would be the last time I would hear those words I would have relished them for longer.

-IPR-

The next day I woke up a little later than I usually do, but I had a late class that day so there was no reason for me to wake up early. The first thing I saw when I woke up was the clock I kept on the nightstand by our bed. It was just before eleven o'clock so I jumped out of bed and hopped into the shower. I bathed in a hurry and threw on the first clothes I found. I didn't want to be late to my lunch meeting with Natsuki.

I hurried out the door, forgetting that it was the middle of winter and the temperatures were below freezing so I rushed in and grabbed my thick jacket and cap. I rushed out to the car and let it warm up for a good five minutes before starting my way downtown, being careful of ice on the road. I got there at eleven forty five, fifteen minutes before my meeting with Natsuki. I walked into the restaurant and the hostess asked if I would like to be seated, I told her that I was waiting on someone and that she should be along shortly.

I sat down at a window seat and watched for her motorcycle, but she didn't show up. I waited until nearly twelve thirty, but still there was no sign of her. I guessed that she had gotten held up and was about to leave, when who would walk through the door but Yukino and Haruka. They noticed that I was there and waved, I sat down with them and we placed our orders together. "Where's Natsuki? You two are usually inseperable."

My look must have told Haruka that I was a little put off by the question. "She was supposed to meet me here, but she didn't show. She probably got held up after class, or had to be at work early." I sighed. "Between our class schedule and her internship there just isn't any time for us anymore. We try to set aside at least a few hours a week for us to go on a date, or just stay at home and relax but it's getting harder and harder to find the time."

Our drinks arrived and Haruka took a long drink of hers. "That sucks, but that's life though. Nothing worthwhile in this world is easy. They've got me stuck in this calculus class and it is giving me hell. I never was any good at math. Fortunately I've got Yukino here to tutor me so I'm at least passing. But really, what does math have to do with being a contractor."

"A lot, actually. You see all the plans are laid out by the contractor and the measurements need to be exact otherwise..."

"I get it, but my dad was a contractor and he doesn't know squat about calculus. I showed him some of my homework and he turned as white as this table." She tapped on the table to demonstrate just how white his face turned. "But anyway, dad says I need to have at least a bachelor's degree before I can become a foreman in the family business so I'm fighting through until I get there. You just have to keep pushing forward."

"You're right, Haruka. We'll get there."

Our food arrived and we ate together. I kept looking at the door hoping that at any minute Natsuki would come running through it and apologize for being late. She didn't and it was almost one when we finished eating. Yukino looked at her watch and quickly stood and grabbed her purse. "Oh no, I'm late for class. Haruka, we need to hurry."

I looked up at her. "It's okay, Yukino. I can give her a ride home, she doesn't live that far away from me."

"Yeah, you get to class. We'll be fine."

"Okay, thanks Shizuru." She waved as she ran for the door and left just me and Haruka, who sat there and reminisced on our high school days until almost two, when we both got up and paid the tab. Haruka covered Yukino's part saying she would get the money back from her later. Then we walked out to my car, nearly shivering until the heater caught up and the temperature finally rose in the car.

I pulled out onto the road and got on the highway to take us home. Ahead of me was an eighteen wheeler, one of those large tanker trucks that are impossible to see around. Haruka was talking to me about the time we were both running for student council when I noticed the truck slam on it's brakes, turning to the left to avoid jackknifing. I went to slam the brakes, but we must have hit an ice patch because the next thing I remember the car had spun out of control and slid down a hill going nearly full speed.

-IPR-

"And?"

"The car careened down the highway, a runaway missile flying out of control and off the road. I didn't even see the tree, it was just there. Haruka was thrown free from the impact, I wasn't so lucky. I hit the tree, and hard." The implications of her memory dawns on her. "It wasn't Natsuki in the accident..." The pieces in her mind fall together and in one stroke of insight she understands where she is and what has happened. "it was me." The weight of the alignment crushes her consciousness and she falls to the floor.

She awakens in a bed in a white room. Her eyes were already open and she stares up at a white ceiling. She feels something sticking out of her throat, a long narrow tube. She tries to move her arm to pull it out, it does not answer. She tries to move her feet, her toes, her head, no answer. _What is this?_

The door opens and in walks Natsuki Kuga in the flesh. Not exactly as Shizuru remembers her, there are more lines across her face then before and her emerald eyes don't seem to shine anymore, her skin is pale and pallid and she is thin, like she hasn't eaten well, but she lives and a tear runs down Shizuru's cheek.

Natsuki sets a bag she carries down on a nearby table and approaches the bed, she sits down next to Shizuru, leans over and kisses her on the cheek. "Hi, bella." Natsuki returns to the bag and fishes out a hamburger, the most she has had to eat in three days. She returns to sit on the bed, unwraps it and takes a large bite out of it. "Work was terrible today." She speaks while chewing, as much as Shizuru wants to chastise her for it the sound of her voice makes her want to cry. "I swear they're going to put me in a bed like this."

She finishes the hamburger and tosses the wrapper in the trash. She pulls a nearby chair up to the bed and takes Shizuru's hand. She can't move or react to it, but she can feel it. She sees her hand out of the corner of her eye and doesn't recognize it. The hand is deathly pale and nearly skeletal, just like the rest of her. "I miss you so much." Natsuki cries, as she does every night, as she has for nearly a year. "You're wasting away, and I can't do anything about it. You're dying."

Natsuki's head hits the bed and she sobs. "Maybe they're right. Maybe I need to let you go." _Pull the plug._ Shizuru understands this and tries to shake her head, move a finger anything to convince her that she is alive but to no avail. The hand is still, her head is motionless. She pours all of her heart and soul, her mind and willpower, all her love for Natsuki into trying to show her that she is alive. Then, a miracle.

Her hand moves.

She faints from the effort, falling into oblivion until she is once again sitting in a chair before a desk in front of a man who stares blankly at her. "Do you understand now?" She nods. "Then you know what you must do."

Her limbs respond as she wills them to get up and make for the door. She opens it and stares into oblivion, to a darkness deeper than anything she has seen before. She steps forward into a garage with one car, her car. The door is open and the keys in the ignition. She turns them and the car starts up. She hits the gas and the car lurches forward onto the street.

She finds the highway and takes the on ramp. She holds the pedal down as far as it will go. One hundred, one hundred and ten, one hundred and twenty miles per hour and still it climbs. Her vision goes white around the edges, quickly converting until all she can see is white. She doesn't see the tree nor does she feel the impact. She is gone.

-IPR-

Six months and nine days ago...

Natsuki arrived home, dead tired from working all day. She had been called in early so she had gone directly from the school to the garage, completely forgetting about her lunch date with Shizuru. It was about four o'clock when she remembered and facepalmed, swearing that she would make it up to her at some later point in the week. Now she entered their home with an apology prepared in her head before she remembered that Shizuru had class that night so she probably wouldn't see her at all. It saddened her.

She took off her boots and tossed them haphazardly beside the couch, swearing to move them later, grabbed a drink from the refridgerator and turned on he TV. She had been sitting for only a few minutes when the phone rang. She got up slowly and answered it. "Hello?"

"Natsuki." Masato Viola was on the other end and she could tell by the sound of his voice that something was wrong.

"Yes, what's wrong?"  
"It's Shizuru, there's...been an accident." She is stunned by those words, she has no idea how to react. "You need to come down to the hospital immediately."

As soon as she hung up the phone she sprung into action, throwing on her boots and jacket and riding her bike as fast as it will take her down the highway until she got to the hospital. There she took the elevator to the fourth floor where Shizuru was in ICU. She finds the waiting room, Masato and Reiko are sitting together waiting for her. They both look terrible. "Where is she? I want to see her."

They lead her to the room where she is being held, the doctor is just finishing his checkup when he looks up and sees Natsuki enter the room. "You must be..."

He starts to introduce himself but she shoves passed him and into the room where her love lies on a table covered in blood, stitches along her face and head where her skull had cracked, several sutures where large pieces of glass were pulled from her, her chest barely rising and falling in rhythm. Natsuki covers her mouth with her hands and falls to her knees. She crawls over to the bed and presses her forehead to it, unknowingly getting blood on her shirt.

_This is my fault._

"You must be the girlfriend."

The doctor enters the room and tries to pull her from the bed but she is stuck like stone. Try as he might, he is unable to pull her from the bedside. Natsuki's voice is soft, vulnerable. "Is she alive?"

"Yes, though only just. Her life signs have stabilized but she has suffered severe head trauma and brain damage. We've repaired what we can but there are limits to what medical science can do." He puts a comforting hand on Natsuki's shoulder. "I'm sorry."

Natsuki cries aloud for the first time since she was a child. The doctor leaves the room, he can't bear to see anymore, and Masahiro takes his place. She is still crying when he helps her sit in a chair in the waiting room. "I should have been there. If I had just met her for lunch, she wouldn't have been on the road. It's my fault."


	15. Chapter 15

Natsuki stood on the edge of a darkened road on a cold and stormy night. She wasn't wearing a jacket and shivered whenever a cold wind blew through her wet clothes and hair. Shizuru stood before her, her mouth was moving but she couldn't hear her, only the wind blowing passed her ears. The wind let up long enough for her to hear Shizuru's words. "It's your fault, Natsuki."

"No, I didn't..." She tried to reach for Shizuru but ended up pushing her instead. Shizuru fell towards the street as headlights rushed towards them. Natsuki screamed.

-IPR-

Natsuki woke up screaming from the same dream she had been having all week. It had been seven days since the accident and the dream had become a recurring nightmare of self doubt. She sat in a chair next to the bed that Shizuru now lay in, the tubes and wires that kept her alive strung around her like Christmas lights. She sighed in the darkness and reached for Shizuru's deathly cold hand. I'm sorry, I wish I could take it all back, but now I can't even do that.

A knock on the door sounded and a nurse opened the door and was surprised to see Natsuki sitting there. "Excuse me, visiting hours are over. You'll need to leave."

"The doctor said it was okay."

The nurse shrugged, Natsuki could tell that she didn't take her job very seriously. She checked the EKG and Shizuru's pulse, seemed satisfied with the results and left the room again. Natsuki still held Shizuru's hand in her own shaking hand, "I don't know if you can hear me in there, but I love you, Shizuru."

She lay back in the chair and rested her head, her eyes closed and she drifted back to sleep.

She woke up to the alarm she had set going off. She had taken a few days off of classes and work to be by Shizuru's side but those days had run out and she had to get back, as much as she didn't want to leave. She dressed and was headed for the door when it opened and Masahiro Viola entered, a somber look on his face. He set his hat down on the chair that Natsuki vacated and consolingly wrapped her in a hug. "No changes?" Natsuki shook her head and Masahiro gave her a sympathetic look. "How are you doing, Natsuki?"

"I'm fine." Natsuki didn't face him when she said it, a sign that he understood to mean she was lying.

"Don't go to work, Natsuki, go home. Take a shower, relax and get some sleep. You look terrible."

"How can I relax when she's like this? How can I sleep when I know that I might never see her again? How can I, knowing it's all my fault?" Natsuki's shoulders slumped as she spoke, her voice never leaving it's solemn tone.

"It's not your fault. There's nothing you could have done."

"I should have been there, Masato. I should have been there but I was so focused on my work that I completely forgot about her. Now she's like this, so close and yet so far away."

Natsuki walked out of the door and a few minutes after Reiko entered. She handed Masahiro a cup of coffee and stood next to him drinking from her own. "Natsuki isn't taking this well, is she?"

Masahiro shook his head. "No. While I watch one daughter waste away I get to watch the other kill herself. I understand now how someone can feel so helpless."

Reiko approached the head of the bed and ran her hand through Shizuru's hair. "If she gets worse, we might have to send her to a therapist."

-IPR-

Natsuki didn't follow Masahiro's advice and went straight from the hospital to work. She wasn't there for an hour before the shop foreman sent her home after nearly ruining an engine she had been working on. She was walking to her bike when he called her name and caught up to her. "I heard about what happened. Are you doing okay?"

"I'm fine, just tired." Natsuki visibly slumped to prove her point. "I'll be back tomorrow."

The foreman, an older man with a long beard that was greying at the edges, gave her a sympathetic look. "Don't come back unless you're one hundred percent, I can't have you freaking out on me." He put a comforting hand on her shoulder. "It's not easy, just have faith."

She shrugged his hand away and walked silently to her bike, she kicked it on and took off down the street leaving the foreman to watch her drive away, shaking his head in worry.

She rode at a faster speed than she was used to, using the speed and thrill as a counter to the despair she felt inside. She took a turn at full speed, nearly scraping the ground with how hard she leaned, and kicked the bike even faster down the empty road. She caught air off of a small hill in the road before her, her heart pounded in her head replacing the feeling of emptiness and hurt that was there before.

She slowed down as she neared the hospital, pulled into her usual spot and turned the engine off. She took her helmet off and breathed cold air into her lungs, lungs that burned with an intensity that mirrored her dreams. She clutched a hand to her chest, tears fell from her eyes, though whether those were tears of exhilaration or depression she couldn't place. All she knew was it felt better than despair.

She threw her leg over the bike and felt the sting of tired muscles, she dismounted and walked on unsteady legs through the front door, into the elevator and up to Shizuru's room. She stopped when Yukino exited the room. "I was looking for you, Natsuki."

"Oh?" The two hadn't spoken since the accident. Yukino didn't look like she was taking the accident well either. "How's Haruka doing?"

"In about the same condition as Shizuru. Haruka doesn't have the scars on her head, though. What happened to her?"

"She hit the tree while Haruka was thrown free. The impact crushed in part of her skull and damaged her brain. The doctors tell me that she might never wake up." She choked on the last words, she had yet to talk about it to anyone, but she swore to herself that no one would see her cry. "I'm sorry, Yukino. It's my fault this happened."

"It's not your fault, it was an accident." Yukino showed genuine confusion, she could not understand how Natsuki could blame herself.

"I was supposed to be there to have lunch with her. If I had shown up she wouldn't have crashed and everything would be okay."

Yukino stepped towards Natsuki, who took a step back, and caught her in an embrace. She held on tightly, Natsuki struggled for a bit but eventually gave in to it. Yukino let her go and Natsuki struggled not to tear up. "You looked like you could use one of those. I was just going to lunch, would you care to join me?"

-IPR-

The same dream again, the cold and wet, Shizuru standing before her, the headlights. The scream.

Natsuki was thrown violently from her dreams and into consciousness. She didn't recognize her surroundings, a comfortable bed in a room sparsely decorated, floral patterns in the walls, a ceiling fan turns lazily above her. She reached for the memory. Yukino and I went to lunch, I remember that, but what happened after that? How did I get here?

She sat up, still wearing the clothes she had been wearing before, and dangled her legs off the edge of the bed. Her shoes were sitting neatly nearby, she grabbed them and put them on her feet. The door opened and Yukino stood in the frame looking at her. "Do you feel better?"

"How did we get here?"

Yukino noticed the genuine confusion on Natsuki's face. "You really don't remember? We ate at this restaurant downtown and you asked if you could stay here for a while, because you didn't want to be alone. I thought it was a good idea, I've been kind of lonely too."

"Oh." Had she said all that? "I'm not alone, though, Shizuru is still alive. She'll come out of it soon, she has to."

Yukino approached the bed slowly, cautiously, as if gauging Natsuki's reaction to her moving closer. She sat down on the bed next to her, keeping a respectful distance, she knew Natsuki wasn't one for close quarters. "What did you dream about? It seemed pretty violent, you were crying and thrashing around earlier."

Was it really that bad? "I...can't remember." She remembered perfectly well but feared that the dream would show others the disintegration of her mind, a fact that she would go to great lengths to hide. "I don't ever remember my dreams."

"Ah. I remember mine every night. Rather vividly too. My dad would always say that I was close to the dream world." Yukino smiled when she mentioned her dad, Natsuki did not. "I loved my father, he was the closest person to me in this world, but now he's gone." Yukino's expression turned dour. "He looked my mom right in the eyes and said 'I don't love you. Now that Yukino is grown up I think it's time we moved on.' It was hard losing him, I remember growing up when he was always just a cry away, now he's a twelve hour flight away."

Natsuki put a comforting arm around Yukino, who buried her face her in her hands. The gesture touched her, especially since Natsuki was not a touch-feely person. "I'm sorry."

"Even with all of that, I can't imagine what you're going through." Yukino took Natsuki's hands in hers. "I know you love her and that you'll never leave her, but you need to start thinking realistically." Natsuki was afraid of the next words. Don't say it Yukino, don't you say it. "What if she doesn't wake up."

Natsuki stood up quickly and turned her back on Yukino, she walked away casting an angry look back at her as she stood in the doorway. "If she doesn't wake up then I'll join her in her sleep. I won't live without her, Yukino." Yukino's eyes widened at her words, not just what she said but the intensity of her words would stay with Yukino. She knew that Natsuki meant it. Natsuki's voice softened, "Thanks, for what it's worth I hope Haruka gets better soon."

She left the room and the house, finding her bike parked next to Yukino's Cadillac in the driveway. She kicked the engine on and felt the familiar rumble through her thighs as she mounted it. The feeling of power again overtook her and she tore out of the driveway faster than was safe. As soon as she was gone, Yukino picked up the phone and dialed a number. "She was just here. She said some things that have me worried, I think she needs help."

The hospital was twenty minutes from Yukino's house, Natsuki made it in ten. The sun had started to go sown when she pulled into her usual parking spot and shut down the bike. She took the long way up the stairs rather than the elevator and gave a nod towards the head nurse who knew her and allowed her to pass. She opened the door to Shizuru's room and found her condition unchanged. The nurses had put in a feeding tube to keep her alive, the sight of it made Natsuki want to vomit. She sat down in the chair next to the bed, a chair that she would sit in for hour after hour over the next six months.

A few relatives of Shizuru's came by to visit over the course of the evening, Natsuki met an aunt and uncle, a few cousins and a fellow student from her college. Who she didn't expect to see was Reito Kanzaki, who strolled in without the usual kick in his step. He gave Natsuki a nod before kneeling beside the bed and wincing at Shizuru's wounds. "I just heard today. How did it happen?"

Natsuki looked at the floor. "We were supposed to meet for lunch at this restaurant downtown, but I got called into work and forgot about it. She was taking Haruka home when their car hit an ice patch and hit a tree." Natsuki hung her head. "I'm sorry, it's all my fault."

Unlike everyone that she had spoken to recently, Reito made no mention of denying it. Perhaps he did think it was her fault or, most likely, he didn't care. Either way Natsuki respected him a little more for his silence. He looked up at her, took in the disheveled state she was in. "You look terrible. When was the last time you were home?"

"What's it matter to you, 'Prince'?"

Reito angered at the mention of his high school nickname, he was never proud of it. "You're right, if you had been there none of this would have happened. It's all your fault." A lot of that anger came from her having won Shizuru's heart, a heart that Reito had yearned for. His intention was to hurt Natsuki who had once hurt him, Reito had grown into a petty man. He succeeded. He set a vase of white roses on the table next to Shizuru's bed and left, having struck a mean blow against an already wounded warrior.

As soon as he was gone Natsuki couldn't contain the tears any longer. His words hit home and she fell apart, the final destination on the path she had been on for a week. She screamed, stood from the chair and smashed the vase, crushing the white roses underfoot. "Bastard!" She screamed at Reito, at Shizuru, at Haruka at everyone around her, but mostly she screamed at herself. "Coward!" She threw the chair against the wall and hit it until it smashed to pieces. She punched the wall until her knuckles bled, until her right hand broke. She was beyond the pain. "You did this! You did this!"

Several nurses rushed in to try and contain the raging Natsuki, she was bigger and stronger than all of them so they were unsuccessful. She ran from the room and down the hallway, passed the nurses area where all eyes turned to watch the screaming woman tear passed them and down the stairs. She tripped on her way down, tumbled down a full flight before she managed to catch herself, falling into a sitting position against a wall with the number 3 largely stenciled in red above her. This is where they found her, her head in her hands, her face streaked with tears, her hand broken and her body bruised and battered. This is where they decided that she needed help.


	16. Chapter 16

Natsuki sat in the waiting room of a therapist's office waiting for her first appointment, an appointment made for her by her mother after Yukino called her the night that she fell apart. As much as she wanted to be angry with her mother, after what happened she was expecting it. "Natsuki Kuga." Her name was called by an older woman with sharp lines on her face, brown hair pulled back into a ponytail. She stood, pushing herself off the chair with her one unwrapped hand, the other still bound after she broke it, and followed the woman back into the office, her head hung and her shoulders sagged as she shuffled after her.

She stepped into the office and noticed the comfortable smell of oak permeated every facet of the room. The bookcases, chairs, walls and the large desk that dominated the room where all made of the stuff. Behind the desk sat a woman, no more than forty years old and still attractive, her long dark hair was tied behind her in a ponytail, her glasses made her seem more severe than she was. When she spoke it was in an oddly comforting voice. "Ms. Kuga, I'm Dr. Rachel Dreyfus, it's a pleasure to meet you."

Natsuki didn't respond to her, didn't even acknowledge her, Natsuki's eyes never left the ground.

"Ms. Kuga, may I call you Natsuki?" She waited for a response that she wouldn't get. "Natsuki, I understand that someone very important to you has just passed on."

"She's not dead." Her voice was quiet, Rachel had to lean forward to hear her. "She's just close to it."

"I'm sorry about that." Rachel used her most compassionate voice and made her face to match. It was wasted effort. "It says here that you believe it is your fault she's in her condition. Is that correct?" Natsuki nodded, Rachel wasn't fazed. "You know that isn't true, don't you?"

"If I had been there I could have stopped it..."

"It's not your fault, Natsuki."

Natsuki's breathing became more labored. "But..."

"It's not your fault, Natsuki." Natsuki finally looked up with tears in her eyes. Rachel gave her a warm smile. "There you are." She reached across the desk and cupped her cheek with her hand, looking into her deep emerald eyes. "You have beautiful eyes." Natsuki looked away, Rachel let her go and leaned back in her chair. "Who is the person who has such a lovely young woman in tears in my office?"

"Her name is Shizuru and I'm in love with her. She's the most important person in my life and I don't think I can live without her."

"She sounds special." Natsuki brushed a stray hair from her face and Rachel noticed a flash of metal on her finger. A ring. "That's a pretty ring, did she give it to you?" Natsuki nodded and absentmindedly spun the ring on her finger, a simple ring of silver with a yin yang pattern, in the center of one ring was embedded an emerald and in the other a ruby. "Tell me about her."

Natsuki got a distant smile on her face. "I remember the day she gave me this ring."

-IPR-

As was usual then, I awoke to an empty bed. Shizuru has always been an early riser, me not so much. It was a Saturday and I didn't have to go to work so I lay in bed for at least a half an hour, until Shizuru came back to the bedroom to check up on me. "Were you planning on getting out of bed today?"

I smirked, my head full of dirty thoughts. "No, am I going to spend all day in bed alone?"

"Not a chance."

We spent a few hours exploring each other and afterwards, when both of us were exhausted from our efforts we lay in each other's arms. I always loved how warm she felt when she would snuggle up next to me, the way her hand would brush my thigh, the way our heartbeats would sync up until it seemed like we were one person. "So, what do you want to do now? Because I'm pretty hungry." Shizuru was usually hungry, but never more so than after we had made love.

"Me too. Why don't we go to the mall today? We can eat, then spend all day walking around and looking in all the stores."

"That sounds fun."

We reluctantly got up and dressed, then argued over whether to take my bike or her car. My bike won and so we rode to the mall. It was rather small, not a huge mall like in some large cities, but it was still nice. It being a Saturday the mall was a little more crowded than I would have liked, I hate crowds to this day. Shizuru knew that so she held my hand, which always had a comforting effect on me. I miss that.

Our first stop was the food court and Shizuru chose an oriental restaurant, like she usually did. I gravitated towards a burger place next to it, I have a thing for mayonnaise. We sat together at a seat that was relatively secluded for my comfort and ate. I always ate faster than her, she used to tell me I would make her feel bad, like she was holding me up, but I reassured her that I didn't mind. In fact I used to love watching her eat, how she would savor every bite as if it were the greatest thing she had ever eaten. It would always make me smile.

After we ate we walked around the mall, checking out various stores that interested us. I remember walking by a jewelry place where, in a display case, sat one of the most beautiful rings I had ever seen. Shizuru and I admired it for some time, and I decided then and there that I was going to buy it for her but I needed to slip away for a bit.

One of my hobbies is collecting lingerie, I just love the feel of the fabric and how it makes me feel beautiful when I wear it. Shizuru loved my hobby, she told me it made shopping for me so much easier. When we walked passed a Victoria's Secret I had to stop.

I could spend hours in that place, and I would have too if I didn't remember that I was on a date. I set the slip I had been looking at back on the rack and turned around to find myself alone. I looked around, thinking that she was looking at something, but she was nowhere in sight. I turned a corner to leave the store and she came walking up, slightly out of breath. "Where did you go?"

She handed me an ice cream cone, "To get us some ice cream. I got you vanilla."

I was desperately searching for a way to sneak off when Shizuru practically pulled me into an electronics shop. Shizuru sat in a massage chair and turned it on, I could hear the loud hum as well as her comfortable sighs. "I need to go to the bathroom, I'll be right back." Perfect.

I slipped away and nearly ran down to the jewelry store. When I got there I noticed the ring was gone. My heart melted, I was too late. I walked in and asked the cashier, an older lady with a box in her hand, if she happened to have another. She looked at me quizzically and opened the box in her hand, inside was the ring that I had seen. "This is the last one. We had two but the someone just bought the other one."

"I'll take it."

She rang it up and I gawked at the price tag. I looked in my wallet, it was every dollar that I had. After handing it all over I ran back to the electronics store with the ring in my pocket and a smile on my face. Shizuru was still sitting in that chair when I got back, I think she even noticed I was gone. "Natsuki, try this chair. It's soooo good." I didn't think it was anything special, then we continued our walk around the mall.

When we finally got back to the bike we were both pretty tired. Shizuru suggested we to out to eat, but, considering I had just spent the last of my money on the ring that now rested in my pocket, I instead suggested a candlelight dinner at home. She seemed to like the idea, even smirked and commented on how she would have to do all the cooking since I was terrible at it. I took it all in stride as we rode back home.

She cooked a casserole while I practically covered our small table in candles, Shizuru had quite a lot of them, and dimmed turned off the lights to set the mood. She set the casserole down in the middle of the table then turned to the room. "I'm going to slip into something more appropriate."

When she returned she was wearing an elegant dress that made my jaw drop, I was lost in her. We sat down and ate in comfortable silence, the kind of silence that only people in love ever experience. She dabbed at her face with a napkin, then promptly dropped it. She knelt down to pick it up only she never picked up the napkin. Instead she held her hand up to me, a hand that had a velvet box in it.

My heart was pounding in my chest. "Natsuki, I bought something for you today. I think you'll like it." I knew what was in it before I even opened it. I opened the box and laughed aloud, she seemed hurt until I pulled a similar box out of my pocket. "When did you have time to buy that? The only time I wasn't with you was when I snuck off to buy it."

"It was while you were in that chair. Are you telling me that you didn't even notice?"

"I guess not."

We laughed together and put the rings on each other's fingers.

-IPR-

Natsuki pulled the ring off of her finger and handed it to Rachel, who looked at it closely. "We've since had then engraved." Rachel looked for the engraving inside the hand. I promise.

She handed it back to Natsuki, who returned it to it's rightful place on her finger. "That's lovely. The woman who gave you that ring, do you love her?"

"With all my heart. She means everything to me."

"And does she love you?"

"Of course."

Rachel leaned forward, resting her head on her hands. "Now if your positions were reversed, would you want her feeling sorry for herself? Or would you want her to be strong?" Natsuki hung her head. "Do you have any dreams, or visions where you see what happened?"

"I do dream about it a lot. We're standing out in the rain and I can't hear what she's saying. I see headlights coming and reach for her but I end up pushing her into the road and she gets hit. I scream and wake up right after that. I've also been losing time, like it passes but I've forgotten what happened."

"So you're reliving the memory of the accident, which you wrongly feel was your fault. I think you might have PTSD."

Natsuki had never heard of the term. "What is that?"

"Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, usually occurring after a significant loss or traumatic event. The major symptom of PTSD is constantly reliving the traumatic moment, and since you mentioned your dreams that feels like what's happening. It could also explain why you seem to have taken all the blame onto yourself, even though you had absolutely no control over the situation."

"Is there something I can do, like take medication?"

"There are a few pills I can proscribe, but they will only treat the symptoms of the problem, not it's root cause. To treat that, we're going to have to go into your memory of that event and force you to face what happened. It's not going to be easy, but remember you're not alone." She put a hand on Natsuki shoulder to illustrate that point. "There are a lot of people who care about you; your mother, Ms. Shizuru and me to name three. We will get you through this. Okay?"

Natsuki nodded and Rachel returned to her chair behind the desk. "Now, I'm going to schedule you for another appointment this week. How is Friday for you?"

Natsuki left the therapist's office feeling much lighter than when she had entered. She hopped on her bike and drove to the hospital. On the way she passed a flower shop and decided to stop and buy a dozen roses. When she got to the hospital she made her way up to Shizuru's floor. The nurses eyed her warily when she approached and were relieved when she apologized for how she acted. They assured her that they understood and that no one had any hard feelings towards her then she continued to Shizuru's room.

She set the dozen roses on the bed near her and kissed her on the cheek. She sat down on the bed and took her cold hand in hers. "I'm a mess without you, but I'm going to try and be strong. For you, for me and for our friends who are still there for us." She put her arms around Shizuru's waist, resting her head on the chest that barely rose with her breathing. "I love you."

-IPR-

Shizuru is sitting in her office behind her desk, a tidy affair with near stacks of papers near the pictures of her husband and daughter, as well as a picture of her and Natsuki from graduation. Her parents had wanted her to get rid of it, but she couldn't bring herself to box it up.

A knock on her door sounded and in walked her assistant, who handed her a dozen roses. "These just came for you, Ms. Viola."

Shizuru thanked the girl and smelled the roses. She opened the card and tears fell from her eyes as she read it.

_I'm a mess without you, but I'm going to try and by strong. For you, for me and for our friends who are still there for us._

_I love you,_

_Natsuki_


	17. Chapter 17

Three weeks to the day after the accident, Haruka woke up.

It was an ordinary morning, the sun rose to a partly cloudy sky on a cold winter's morning. One of the nurses was checking the EKG for readings when she felt something on her shirt. When she looked down it was straight into the blue eyes of Haruka and she nearly jumped out of her skin. She ran out of the room to find the head nurse, who started making calls immediately.

The first of these calls went to Yukino, who jumped out of bed and threw on whatever clothes were at hand. Her head hurt from the previous night spent at a nearby bar, as usual she had returned home alone. Ignoring the pain she ran out to her car and slid out of the driveway, tearing down the street and towards the hospital.

The trip normally took her thirty minutes. She cleared the distance in eighteen, nearly getting pulled over twice on the highway before taking the exit that led her to the hospital. She found a parking space on the far side of the lot and ran to the lobby, hitting the elevator and waiting nervously during it's nerve wrackingly slow ascent.

She burst from the elevator as soon as the doors opened, the nurses pointed her on towards Haruka's room. They could see the excitement in her face and were happy for her. She ran into the room and fell against the wall to regain her breath. She could hear Haruka's voice, a sound that soothed her like nothing ever had. "I can feed myself, thank you." Their eyes met and relief could be seen in both of them. "Am I glad to see you, Yukino." She noticed that, not only was her voice weak, but it also sounded hoarse, a side effect of the feeding tube she was to understand.

"Hi." It was all she could think to say and Haruka laughed and coughed and laughed some more.

"You look like you've seen a ghost. Do I look that bad?"

"You look alive, and that's all that matters."

Yukino's smile lit up the room like a candle nearly snuffed that found a reason to burn again. She crossed the room and gently hugged Haruka, who lifted up and tried to return the embrace but her arms were weak and she could barely lift them. She fell back to the bed after Yukino released her and she sighed. "Why am I so weak? How long have I been in this bed?"

Yukino pulled a chair up next to the bed and sat down, the nurse who had been in the room pressed a few buttons on the tablet in her hand then excused herself leaving them alone. "It's been three weeks since the accident. They said you were thrown from the car and landed on your head."  
Haruka tried to remember the day but it was foggy, she remembered the cold, she remembered telling Shizuru to watch for ice on the road. Shizuru. "And Shizuru? How is she doing since Natsuki..."

Yukino was confused. "Since Natsuki what?"

"Since Natsuki was..." Then it clicked. She was in the bed so it had to have been her in the accident and if Shizuru was driving then Natsuki couldn't have been dead. She clutched her head in both hands and pieced together what had happened. "We were having lunch with Shizuru when you had to leave, so Shizuru was taking me home when an eighteen wheeler skidded in front of us. We must have hit a patch of ice on the highway. So it wasn't Natsuki after all."

Yukino was even more confused. "Why did you think Natsuki was the one who died?"

"I guess it was a dream, but it felt so real. In my dream it wasn't Shizuru and I in the accident, it was Natsuki. She died and I remember watching Shizuru fall apart. It was awful, she blamed herself and became self-destructive, almost suicidal, before we managed to calm her down. She spent years in therapy trying to undo the damage it did to her. She eventually recovered, though I don't think the wound ever truly healed for her. They loved each other so deeply that it must have been like a piece of herself dying." Yukino listened carefully, surprised at the parallel between the story Haruka was telling and what she had watched Natsuki go through. "Years later she married a man, I forget his name, and had a daughter. She named her Natsuki and she was the most precious thing in the world to her, until the messages."

"Messages?"

"I learned about it after twenty years, but apparently it had been going on the whole time. She had been receiving gifts and letters from someone calling themselves Natsuki Kuga. It seemed suspicious to me so I looked into it. The letters came from nowhere, no one I talked to even remembered delivering them. It was strange, but now it makes more sense."

Haruka, through much effort, leaned up to sitting position on the bed, then promptly fell back down again. She tried it again, but Yukino pushed her back to the bed. "You're not strong enough to get up yet."

"I never will be if I don't start now." Haruka continued her sit-ups, willing her aching body to move, to strengthen. "So Shizuru is dead?" She was out of breath, but the sadness in her voice still bled through.

"Not yet, but the doctors say it's only a matter of time. The car you were in hit a tree, you were thrown from the car but Shizuru hit the tree at full force. It did serious damage to her brain and she's been in a coma ever since."  
Haruka fell back to the bed, exhausted. "How's Natsuki taking it?"

"She went crazy. She was convinced that it was her fault, nothing anybody said could convince her otherwise. She hardly slept or ate. I invited her out to lunch and she passed out in the car, when she woke up she mentioned something about killing herself so I called her mother. I don't know what happened after that, but she went berserk. She started breaking things, broke her own hand then ran off screaming. They finally caught up to her after she had fallen down the staircase, she was in tears. Her mother sent her to a therapist, where she was diagnosed with PTSD, but she seems to be doing better now." Yukino smiled hopefully. "You woke up, though. Maybe Shizuru will wake up soon too."

Haruka's father was next in the room, having received the call shortly after Yukino he rushed from work immediately to the hospital. Yukino knew of his arrival a full minute before he burst through the door. Robert Armitage was a loud, boisterous man, much like his daughter. "Haruka Armitage, how long are you going to lay in that bed?"

"Until I can do something about it, dad."

Robert Armitage ran a profitable ranch, raising cattle, sheep and horses on a few hundred acres of land far outside the city. He was a simple man of simple tastes, as could be told by the shirt and overalls he showed up in. Haruka looked a lot like her father, as big as Haruka was her father made her look small in comparison. Compared to Yukino, who sat in the chair between him and his daughter, he was a giant. "Nonsense, come on and give your father a hug." He spoke with a smile on his face and he reminded Yukino of Haruka.

Robert gave her daughter an awkward 'you can't get up from the bed' hug, where he leaned over and she patted him lightly on the back. Her grip was loose and he realized how weak she actually was. "How are you feeling, sweetheart?"

"Fine, except that I can't move too well and I can't sit up for more than a few seconds and, apparently, I'm incapable of feeding myself..."

Robert chuckled, his daughter had never been one to enjoy lying around for any length of time much less having someone feed her. He noticed Yukino was laughing too and decided now was the time for introductions. He turned to her and offered his hand. "I don't believe we've met before, I'm Robert Armitage."

"Yukino Kikukawa." She stood and shook Robert's hand. "I went to school with Haruka."

"School mates, eh? Come to think of it, I think Haruka mentioned you a few times. She said you two were close." Yukino stood up and motioned for him to sit, but he turned her down. "So what exactly happened, Haruka? Why were you on the road that day?" Haruka explained everything to her father, who didn't have the reaction that she thought. Rather than being upset, he was understanding. "How is the other girl?"

"Worse. The doctors are saying she might never wake up."

"Then I'm glad to be your father, I don't know how long I could stand seeing my daughter in a bed."

-IPR-

Natsuki heard the news second hand from one of the nurses that regularly attended Shizuru. "Did you know that Haruka girl woke up today?"

Natsuki had been in class all day, had gotten off and went immediately to the hospital. She had been sitting by Shizuru's bedside, a ritual for her these days, when the nurse had approached her and casually started up a conversation. "Really? Maybe I should go talk to her."

Haruka's room was right next to Shizuru's. When she walked in Yukino was sitting in a chair next to the bed and an older man who looked a lot like Haruka was talking to them. She reasoned that he was Haruka's dad. Yukino turned around when the door opened and Haruka looked over. Both of them smiled at her. "I was wondering when you would come visit."

"I just heard." She approached the bed and knelt down beside it. "How do you feel?"

"Tired, right now, but I've heard that you're feeling a lot worse." Haruka put a hand on Natsuki's shoulder. "It's going to be okay. She'll wake up."

"I don't know if I believe that. The doctors here seem to think..."  
"They think, Natsuki, I know." Haruka's face was serious and her voice was authoritative. "She will wake up, she can't live without you, or you without her. I saw her when I was dreaming." The room's attention was on her. "In that world it was you who died, but she built a new world around you. Husband, kid, job everything was tied to you. She needs you, Natsuki, but you need to survive too."

"I was weak when I found out she was in a coma, I didn't know what to do. But now I'm stronger, and I will be here when she wakes up."

Haruka smirked. "That's good to hear."

Natsuki stood to leave. "It's good to see you awake, Haruka, and for what it's worth I'm sorry."  
"You've got nothing to be sorry for."

Natsuki turned to leave when Yukino took her arm, "It's good to see you doing better. I was worried about you."

"Thanks for worrying, but I feel a lot better now."

When she got back to Shizuru's room her mom was sitting in the chair waiting for her. "I thought you'd be here." She got up to greet her daughter, a look of concern etched on her face. "How are you doing, Natsuki? You're friend Yukino called me to tell me she was worried about you."

"I know, I was in a bad place, but I feel better now."  
"And the shrink I sent you to, how is that helping?"

"A lot. She's really good at her job." The Kugas stood awkwardly facing each other, neither good at showing their emotions. Saeko finally broke the tension and reached out to her daughter, pulling her into a hug. Natsuki returned it and Saeko started to sing a nursery rhyme that she had sang to Natsuki when she was a baby. It brought tears to both their eyes.

When she was done, Saeko pulled out her car keys. "Are you hungry? Let's go out to eat."

"Okay."

Natsuki said goodbye and "I love you" to Shizuru before she left. She always did, as if to keep the hope alive in her that Shizuru could still wake up. They got on the elevator just as Masahiro Viola left the stairs and walked somberly towards her daughter's room. He opened the door and noticed that Natsuki wasn't there, unusual considering she had been by her daughter's side every day since the accident. He respected her for it, not many in her situation would have stuck by his daughter like she had. He knelt by his daughter's bedside and took her hand, now thin and pale, holding it up to his cheek, feeling how cold it was. He tried to speak but words failed him, only the overbearing feeling of loss as he held his daughter's hand and silently wept into the bed sheets.

-IPR-

Natsuki sat across from Saeko at a nearby restaurant, neither talking much but enjoying each other's company. Natsuki had ordered a steak and was tearing into it with a fervor. She didn't want to mention it, but it had been a couple of days since she had eaten. She cleaned the plate and ordered a slice of pie for desert. "Thanks mom, I guess I didn't know how hungry I was."

"That's because you don't eat, Natsuki." Natsuki looked away from her, a sign Saeko knew to mean she had hit a nerve. "You need to take better care of yourself." She smirked at her daughter. "Don't make me get a babysitter for you, now. I will if I have to."

Natsuki pouted and crossed her arms. "I'm almost twenty now, mom, I can take care of myself. It's just been hard without Shizuru, that's all."

"I understand." Saeko's face turned serious. "I never told you about your father, Natsuki. I thought it better that you didn't know, but I think this is a good time to tell you about him." Natsuki's full attention was turned to her mother, she didn't even notice when her pie arrived. "Your father was a soldier, and a good man. I loved him from the moment I laid eyes on him, but one day he left to fight overseas and he never came back. I waited for him, for long months I waited for him until I started getting sick in the mornings. My stomach grew and I realized that I was pregnant with his child, you. He died in that country, Natsuki, and it broke me down. That's why I never told you." Saeko reached across the table and took her daughter's hand. "Life goes on, Natsuki. Don't lose faith, but don't have any illusions. If she doesn't come back, you're going to have to live with it."

Natsuki nodded. She could always count on her mother to tell her the hard truth, other people would sugarcoat things but never Saeko Kuga. "She'll come back, mom. I need her."

"I just want you to be ready, Natsuki. That's one hell of a fall."

They finished eating and Saeko paid, against Natsuki's wishes, and drove her back to the hospital. Saeko rolled down the car window as her daughter started to walk away. "Go home tonight, Natsuki. Get some sleep." Natsuki nodded to her mother and continued on into the hospital.

When she got to the room she noticed the door was open. She rushed forward in time to see an older man studying Shizuru's face with a small penlight. "Hey, what are you doing?" The man looked up, startled, as Natsuki came barreling into the room. "You're not her regular doctor. Who are you?"


	18. Chapter 18

"Forgive me for startling you, I meant no offense." After Natsuki nearly struck the mysterious doctor, Masato had returned from getting a cup of coffee and had calmed Natsuki down. "I assumed that your father would have told you about my coming." The doctor spoke in an eastern accent that Natsuki couldn't place, it made his words sound heavy.

"My father...?" Natsuki realized he was talking about Masato. "Oh, he's not my father, he's Shizuru's father."

"Are you two not sisters?"

"No, she's my girlfriend."

"I see, I apologize."

"It's nothing."

While he was talking, the doctor was examining Shizuru carefully, being extra concerned with the cracks in her skull that had healed well in the past weeks. He also checked her spinal cord near the base of her neck for any more severe damage. He seemed satisfied with his findings, he jotted them down in a little black notebook he carried. "I told Mr. Viola that I would look at his daughter and see if anything can be done, and it looks like I have some good news for you."

Both Masato and Natsuki perked up at his words, neither of them had heard any good news regarding Shizuru in a long while. "While her skull was fractured it absorbed a large part of the impact, most of the damage to the brain is frontal lobe, which is something I specialize in, and is not necessarily a death sentence." He turned to Masato, "With your permission I would like to begin operating soon. Now, I must warn you, while I feel the operation has a large chance of success, it is not one hundred percent. It will also be a lengthy process. I do not expect results within the first month or two. These things take time."

"Whatever it takes, Dr. Heinrich, I just want to see my daughter again." Masato smiled for the first time since the accident and shook the doctor's hand. "Thank you for coming out here today. It means the world to me."

"I have a daughter of my own, I understand completely." He turned then to Natsuki, who was a bit more skeptical than Masato, but still lighthearted. "And what about you, Ms...? I'm sorry I didn't get your name."

"It's Natsuki, Natsuki Kuga." She shook the doctor's hand and was surprised to find it strong, it gave her some comfort in the success rate of the operation.

"Well met, I'm Dr. Alfonse Heinrich. I've been a neurosurgeon for over twenty years now. In all that time I have only lost two patients." Natsuki's apprehension started to wear off, replaced with outright glee. "Have faith, child, I will do everything possible for your lover."

Natsuki threw her arms around the doctor and pulled him into a hug. He patted her on the back and Masato laughed aloud. Dr. Heinrich looked at him questioningly. "This is the most affection I've seen her show anyone other than Shizuru. It's good to see."

As soon as he said this Natsuki backed away from the doctor. "I'm just happy that we can do something for her." She faced Masato. "I've got to get some sleep, I have school in the moning."

"Really? What for, if I may ask?"

"I'm going to be a motorcycle mechanic."

The doctor nodded his head several times. "I see. It was nice to meet you Ms. Kuga, and I will begin the operations immediately."

-IPR-

Dr. Heinrich's first session took place one week after his conversation with Masato and Natsuki. It was a grueling ten hour procedure that produced no visible difference in Shizuru's condition. He remained unperturbed, however, and continued to treat her even as her body withered away. By the one month anniversary of the accident, Shizuru weighed less than half of what she had before and her skin had lost all color and warmth. Natsuki stayed strong, however, confident in the doctor's skills.

Dr. Heinrich would not give her much to hope for. After a month of operations he had managed to produce no visible change in Shizuru's condition but Natsuki never lost hope. Natsuki's health started to suffer as her classes, as well as the internship that she had resumed, left her little time for anything else. Between that and being at the hospital each night she found less and less time to sleep and eat. She still continued her therapy sessions, however, and these seemed to help her mood.

Natsuki was returning to the hospital from one of these sessions when she was met by one of the best signs she had seen in the five months since the accident. Shizuru's eyes were open.

Dr. Heinrich was crouching over her with a pen light, trying to get the eyes to move. They didn't respond, something seemed to be missing and Natsuki realized what when she looked closer into them. There was no consciousness behind them. The doctor looked up and smiled at her when he noticed her shadow fall over the bed. "We have a sign, Natsuki. It's working."

"It doesn't seem like she's out of it yet."

"No, but her eyes opening is a good sign. It means that the mind is healing itself. This is what I've been working to achieve, now all it takes is time." Shizuru blinked, an involuntary reaction she knew, but it was nevertheless reassuring. "You should try talking to her, Natsuki. It might help her recover faster, she needs to relearn how to respond to outside stimuli."

Natsuki took Shizuru's hand and clutched it to her chest, being very careful around the IV hooked up at the wrist. Dr. Heinrich took that as his cue to leave, he put his hand reassuringly on Natsuki's shoulder on the way out. "Shizuru, I don't know if you can hear me, but if you can I want you to know that I love you and that I will wait for you as long as it takes."

It was awkward at first for her to converse with her unconscious girlfriend, but as time passed she grew more comfortable with it and eventually came to enjoy the release. She would tell Shizuru about her day, about how her classes were going, about how work was grueling and about her therapy sessions. It was cathartic.

Nearly a month after Shizuru's eyes opened, Natsuki was sitting in the chair beside the bed and telling Shizuru about her latest semester of classes when Shizuru jerked suddenly and the EKG started to beep wildly with her fluctuating heart rate.

She panicked as the door flew open and nearly every nurse on call that night rushed into the room. "What's happening!?"

"She's flatlining." The head nurse took immediate control of the situation. She turned to one of the others. "Bring the defibrillator, quickly." She turned to Natsuki. "Stand back, Natsuki, we'll handle this."

She did as she was told and stood away from the table while the nurse returned with the defibrillator. The older woman took the paddles and rubbed them together, the spark ignited and she placed the paddles just over Shizuru's chest. "Clear." She said in a loud voice as she pressed the paddles downward and Shizuru jumped from the bed. Tears fell down Natsuki's face and she sunk to the floor. "Breathe." Her voice is cracked. "Please breathe, Shizuru."

"Clear." The nurse pressed the paddles down again and Shizuru jumped again, only this time when she returned to the bed the EKG lit up again. Her chest moved up and down again with her steady breathing and Natsuki stood up from the ground. "It looks like she made it."

Masato ran in not long after, having received the call that his daughter had flatlined. The nurses all left except for the head nurse, who stayed behind to talk to Masato and Natsuki. "This is bad. Her body is deteriorating and I don't know how much longer she has. If she doesn't recover soon, she's not going to recover." The nurse lowered her head, "You might want to think about pulling the plug."

Natsuki visibly angered and the nurse rushed to explain. "We don't know what it's like in there, but if she's suffering then you have the power to end it, Natsuki."

"No, out of the question." Natsuki shook her head, Masato stayed silent.

"Aren't you being selfish? I understand you want her back, but even if she recovers there's no way of telling if she'll ever walk again, much less be able to feed and clothe herself, or even use the restroom by herself. Maybe you should let her go."

Natsuki clenched her fists. "I will not."

"I agree." Masato's deep voice punctuated Natsuki's claim. "She will come out of this, we just need to be patient."

The nurse raised her hands. "It's your decision, I'm just making sure it's what she and you want." She returned to her desk and Saeko's words ran through Natsuki's head. _If she doesn't come back, you're going to have to live with it._

She fell into the chair beside the bed and let her mind drift, Masato looked worried but took his daughter's hand and started to converse with her. "We're falling apart without you, Shizuru. You're mother is a wreck and I can barely work anymore. I just...want to hear your voice again." His head suddenly jerked upward, his eyes widened in shock. Natsuki noticed and cocked her head to the side in the silent question. _What happened?_ "She just squeezed my hand."

"What?"

"She did, I swear it." He brushed her hair back with his free hand. "Come on, Shizuru. Do it again." He received not response and started to wonder if he had imagined it. "Squeeze my hand if you can hear me." Still nothing and he somberly stood from the bed. "Maybe I did imagine it."

Masato left the room to clear his head and Natsuki could swear she saw he fingers of her hand move ever so slightly. Or maybe it was her imagination.

-IPR-

Over the next two weeks Natsuki stayed at the hospital more often than not, her bed in the house she and Shizuru had shared went unused. Her complexion started to suffer, deep bags under her eyes from lack of sleep and knots in her hair from lack of care. She would talk to Shizuru when she was 'awake' and merely hold her hand while she slept. It was a calming exercise for her.

Her schedule hadn't changed pace, she still went to school most mornings, left the grounds and headed for her internship, where she worked long shifts then left and headed for the hospital. She did this for a while, until one day when she left her morning classes and headed to work already exhausted from running herself ragged.

After working an eight hour shift that never seemed to end she got on her bike again, really feeling the pain in her legs, and headed for the hospital. Her stomach grumbled at her over the sound of the engine so she decided to stop at a burger joint along the way. She ordered a hamburger, extra mayo, and a soda. She drank the soda before she left the lot, the burger sat in her backpack until she got to Shizuru's room.

She entered to find her eyes open, as they usually were at this time of night, she set her bag down on a nearby table, leaned over and kissed her on the forehead. "Hi, bella." She opens the bag she set down and pulls out the hamburger, the smell intoxicating to her after a few days of missing meals to keep her schedules. She sits on the bed next to Shizuru and opens the burger, tearing into it with a fervor. "Work was terrible today." Her mouth is full while she talks, but she doesn't care right now. "I swear they're going to put me in a bed like this."

The hamburger is gone before she can really enjoy it, she balls up the wrapper and tosses it into the nearby trash can. She pulls the only chair in the room towards the bed and sits down, taking Shizuru's nearly skeletal and deathly cold hand in hers. She takes a good look at the woman she loves, her face shrunken and disheveled, her body just skin and bones, her skin pale and pallid like the dead and, the worst blow, her lifeless eyes seeing nothing. "I miss you so much."

She feels the tears coming and doesn't try to stop them. In this room she has come to feel safe, her feelings open to what remained of her love. "You're wasting away and I can't do anything about it. You're dying." She can no longer keep her head up, it falls to the bed and lies on the white blanket. "Maybe they're right. Maybe I need to let you go."

Her mother's words keep echoing through her head. _If she doesn't come back, you're going to have to live with it._ She thought back on her childhood and realized that her mother had been right about a lot of things, and this was just another one of those things. She lifted her head and looked into Shizuru's dead eyes and, for the first time in a long time, saw in them the woman she loved. She felt a hand touch her cheek and her heart stopped.

It was Shizuru's hand.


	19. Chapter 19

On the morning of October the twenty second, 1993, six months and ten days after the accident that nearly claimed her life, Shizuru's eyes opened under her own power. She was sitting upright in a hospital bed that felt cold to the touch. This was the first thing that surprised her, the sense of touch that flooded her; the crispness of the blankets, the cushioning of the pillows behind her, the cool air as it circulated around her. It thrilled her. Next came sound; she could hear the buzzing of the air conditioner, the beeping of the EKG, the sound of footsteps outside her door. Next came taste, she could taste the plastic of the feeding tube that was wound down her throat, her only life line for over six months. Smell was fourth; the fresh lemon smell of the newly mopped floors, the smell of the flowers that were sitting next to her on a shelf, the smell of chemicals that usually surrounded hospitals. Last was sight; the white ceilings above her, her feet sitting unmoving under white hospital blankets, Natsuki sitting in a chair beside the bed.

This was the sight that captivated her. Why was Natsuki sitting in the chair? How had she gotten to the hospital in the first place? And how much time has passed? These questions ran through mind as she watched Natsuki writhe on the chair like she was being attacked, small whines and cries escaping her lips. Finally she woke up and practically threw herself off the chair, pacing back and forth at the foot of the bed as if to banish the spirit that haunted her. Natsuki looked over at Shizuru and saw her eyes were open. "Good morning, sweetheart. Did you sleep well?"

Shizuru blinked slowly, as this was the only muscle she could move at the moment, and Natsuki froze. "Can you hear me?" She blinked once more and Natsuki rushed over to the bed, looking right into Shizuru's eyes. "If you can hear me, blink twice." Her eyelids fell once, then twice and the breath left Natsuki's lungs. "Doctor!" She shouted as she ran out of the room looking for the nearest doctor. She found Dr. Heinrich signing in at the nurses' station. "Doctor Heinrich, she's awake!"

"Really?" He said it with a nonchalant voice and put on a face like a safari tour guide, a face that seemed to say 'Let's go see what's going on over here'. He followed a bouncing Natsuki into the room and noticed that her eyes seemed to follow him. Indeed they seemed to widen a bit when they looked at him. Shizuru didn't know why, but she felt like she had seen him somewhere before.

He took out his penlight and shined it into her eyes, getting uncomfortably close and looking into them. "Hello, Ms. Fujino, how are you today?" Her eyes blinked slowly, he started to move the light around. "Follow the light with your eyes, now." It moved too fast but she tried and he seemed satisfied with the results. "Now, blink once for no and twice for yes, can you hear me?" Shizuru blinked her eyes twice. "Good, do you feel any pain or discomfort?" Shizuru blinked her eyes once. "That's a good sign." He pointed to Natsuki. "Do you recognize her?" The edges of her lips turned up in a vague approximation of a smile and tears welled up in her eyes. She blinked twice.

He clicked off the penlight and stood from the bed, he retrieved from his bag a notebook and wrote a few lines into it. Natsuki took his place at Shizuru's side. She ran her hand through Shizuru's hair, which had grown long and unkempt in her time in the bed. "Hi, beautiful." Tears were in her eyes as she looked down into red eyes she had longed to see. "I missed you."

If Shizuru could have talked, she would have said "I missed you too." Instead she closed her eyes as she felt weary and fell asleep. Natsuki mistook this for a problem. "Doctor, I think something's wrong. She's going away again."

Dr. Heinrich sauntered over and started to take measure of her vitals, starting with her pulse. "Nothing is wrong, she's just asleep. Being awake after this long must be tiring. Over the next week or so she'll be able to stay awake for longer."

He would prove to be right. The second day she managed to stay awake an entire hour, an hour punctuated by her parents nearly crying at her recovery. The next day she stayed awake for three and a half hours, in which time she would receive more visits from friends and well wishers than she even remembered she had. Even Haruka and Yukino stopped by. Haruka walked up to the bed and took her weak hand in her own. "It's good to see you awake."

The fourth day the nurses removed the feeding tube and started her on a diet of broth and water until her system strengthened. Since she could barely move, during the day one of the nurses would spoon feed her. She hated it, having only recently been able to do such things for herself. At night Natsuki would usually feed her, and, though she didn't mind it as much then, it still weighed on her mind.

By the eighth day she was on a regular sleep schedule, but that is also when the headaches started. She had been on a regular dose of painkillers and so had never felt the effects of the headaches, but recently Dr. Heinrich had lowered her dosage and as she became more lucid the pain set in more. It started with a distant buzzing sound, like bees swarming to protect the nest. It traveled to her eyes and became an intense burning pressure that filled her head. She cried out, and heard her voice for the first time since waking. It was raspy and hoarse from disuse and the feeding tube, but it was enough to get her father's attention, who had been talking on his new cellular phone when he heard her and immediately spun around.

He hit the call button and the doctor rushed in. "I don't know what's wrong. She looks like she's in pain."

Shizuru tried to clutch her head but her arms were weak and she couldn't lift them that far. The doctor consulted the chart at the foot of her bed and saw that her morphine dosage had been reduced. He increased the dosage and she fell back to the bed drowsy. "It's most likely severe headaches from the brain surgery. We'll keep her dosage up until she recovers from them."

The headaches were strong in the beginning, but over the course of two weeks they fell away until they were nothing more than a mild throb. In that time Shizuru found her voice again, though it was quieter and raspier than before she was ecstatic at being able to talk again. She didn't reveal this fact immediately, not until Natsuki had fallen asleep in the chair by the bed did she say her name. It was difficult, but she managed to get it out. "Na-tsu-ki."

Natsuki was awake almost immediately. "Wha?" Shizuru was smiling at her from the bed. "Did you say something?"

"Yes. I...said...Natsuki."

Natsuki leapt from the chair and threw her arms around Shizuru's neck. "When did you get you're voice back?"

"Just the...other...day. I...wanted to...surprise...you."

"Well you did." Natsuki took Shizuru's hand in hers and laid down in the bed beside her, keeping an eye on the door in case someone came in and saw them like that. She wasn't sure, but she imagined they would frown on her lying in bed with one of the patients. She buried her face in the crook of Shizuru's neck and closed her eyes.

"What happened? Why...am I here?"

In her mind, Natsuki panicked. She didn't know whether it was okay to tell her what had happened. In her mind she pictured Shizuru's mind reverting back to when she was unconscious and starting the cycle over again. She couldn't bear that again, but she also didn't want to lie to her love either. She finally settled on telling the truth. "You were in a bad car accident. It was icy and you lost control of the car and hit a tree. You have been in a coma for over six months."

"Six months?" Shizuru tried to remember something, anything a out that day but nothing was forthcoming, and she finally gave up. "It's no use, I don't...remember...anything."

"It's better that way." Tears were in her eyes and she choked in her words once before she could say them. "It's been hard watching you waste away, while I was sitting here powerless to help. In moments of weakness, I even considered..."

"It's...okay." Shizuru squeezed the hand that Natsuki held as tightly as she could, which wasn't that tight but the gesture was still moving. "I'm here now, and I love you."

Natsuki had been longing to hear those words for six months and the tears only flowed more freely after that. She planted a soft kiss on Shizuru's lips, very soft as she was afraid to hurt her in any way. "I love you too, baby. I love you so damned much."

-IPR-

Natsuki awoke still lying in the bed with Shizuru, who was asleep. She woke up to the sound of the door opening and noticed Dr. Heinrich standing there looking at her. Shizuru woke up when Natsuki got up and grunted at having been disturbed. Natsuki wiped the sleep from her eyes and stood up from the bed. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to fall asleep like that."

"Under the circumstances, I don't think anyone can blame you." He set his bag down on the chair and opened it, taking out his stethoscope, the notebook in which he had written his notes on her condition and his penlight. This he walked over to the bed holding and looked closely into Shizuru's eyes again. "Good morning, and how are you feeling?"

"Pretty good...doctor."

This brought a smile to Al's face, a bright smile. "You can speak. That's excellent, Ms. Fujino, you are recovering at a good pace."

"You can...call me...Shizuru, doctor."

"It's nice to meet you finally, Shizuru. I'm doctor..."

"Heinrich. I feel like...we've met...before."

"You can call me Al, Shizuru." Al continued his examination, checking the condition of her eyes and taking her pulse and other vital measurements. "How are the headaches? Have they gotten better?"

"Much better. They...barely hurt...anymore."

"That's good, now it's time to focus on your body's recovery. I've asked a physical therapist I've worked with before to come up some time today and talk to you about starting on a regimen. The sooner you start the sooner you can get out of this bed." Al pulled the blanket down so that he could read her heart rate with the stethoscope, Shizuru looked down and got her first look at her body since the accident. It was skeletal and gaunt, her skin pale and drawn like old leather.

"I look terrible, don't I?"

"You're alive, Shizuru, and that makes you the most beautiful woman in the world to me."

If she could have, Shizuru would have swooned. Instead she settled for a wide smile. Al finished writing in his notebook and packed all of his implements back into his bag. "I think my work is done here." He handed Natsuki his business card. "If her headaches start getting too bad just call me and I'll set up an appointment immediately."

Natsuki nodded that she understood and shook his hand vigorously. "Thank you, doctor, for everything you've done. I could never repay you for what you've given back to me."

"Seeing that true love really does exist is payment enough for me." He turned to the bed and took Shizuru's hand. "Shizuru, it has been a pleasure to meet you."

"Likewise, doctor."

He left the room leaving Shizuru and Natsuki alone in it. Natsuki opened the window and looked down on the courtyard four stories down from Shizuru's room. The sun was out, there was a light breeze blowing and eveything just seemed perfect. "Hey Shizuru," Natsuki was struck with an idea, "do you want to go outside?"

"Yes."

"Okay, then I'll be right back."

Natsuki bounded from the room and returned a few minutes later with a wheelchair. She lifted Shizuru off the bed, quite easily as she didn't weigh a thing, and set her in the chair. She pushed the chair while pulling the IV pole along with them to the elevator and pressed the button for the ground floor. When the elevator doors opened Natsuki pushed the wheelchair towards the main desk, where she was stopped by the front desk secretary. "Is she okay to be outside? She looks rather pale."

"I asked and the doctor said it was okay, but only for a short time. We won't be long."

"Okay. It really is a beautiful day for it."

Natsuki wheeled the chair out of the front door and Shizuru relished the feeling of the sun on her face and the cool breeze that ran through the courtyard. There was a jogging path that wound around the courtyard and Natsuki followed it around twice, pointing out to Shizuru a few interestting things about the buildings. Shizuru was just happy to be spending time with Natsuki again. They walked around for nearly a half an hour before Natsuki wheeled her back into the hospital.

Once they got back to the room, Natsuki easily lifted her back onto the bed before sitting beside her. "Thanks, Natsuki. I...needed that."

"So did I."

-IPR-

Later that day, the physical therapist that Dr. Heinrich had called arrived. She was an older woman, most likely in her fifties, with graying hair pulled into a tight bun. To spite that, however, her body looked half her age, with hardly a wrinkle or sag out of place. "Hello, I'm Trudy Cartright. I assume that Dr. Heinrich told you I was coming?"  
"He did."

Natsuki strode forward to shake her hand. "Natsuki Kuga, I'm Shizuru's girlfriend."

"It's nice to meet you." The woman smiled faintly then turned to the bed. "And you must be Ms. Fujino."

"You can call me Shizuru, Ms. Cartright."

"You've regained your voice already?" Trudy seemed impressed by this feat. "That's a good sign." Trudy approached the bed and took the blankets in her hand. "Do you mind if I take a look?"

"No."

Shizuru did feel a little apprehension when the blanket was pulled down and what was left of her body was revealed. Trudy started poking and prodding at some of the muscle, especially around her upper arm and thigh areas. "You've lost a lot of muscle, it will take some time to replace it. so, Shizuru," she looked into Shizuru's eyes, "how would you like to walk again?"

"I would...love it."

"Keep that energy, you're going to need it. This won't be an easy process, nor will it be a quick one. You are going to have to train day in and day out to get back to where you were. But with perseverance you will get there someday." She turned to Natsuki. "And you will need to be there for her, be her strength until it returns to her. That means taking care of yourself as well. Dr. Heinrich told me how you've been missing meals and overworking yourself. No more, Ms. Kuga. She needs you healthy now."

"I...couldn't have...said it better...myself."

Faced with the dual front of Trudy and Shizuru, Natsuki was forced to back down. "If it's for you, Shizuru, I'll do anything."

"That's good to hear, Ms. Kuga. Now we'll have to start slowly, first we should work on restoring function to your limbs and extremities. Can you move your fingers, Shizuru?" Shizuru demonstrated that she could, but not well. "That's impressive after only two weeks. How about your toes? Can you move them?" Shizuru's face scrunched up while she tried to move first her toes, then her whole foot. Neither of them budged. "That's okay, I didn't expect you to actually do it. Still, I'm surprised at the progress you've made already. It's my professional opinion that you'll be walking in no time."

"That's good...to hear. Thank you...Trudy."

Trudy smiled. "I'll schedule you for daily appointments until you regain some of your basic motor functions, so I'll be seeing you tomorrow then." Trudy left a smiling Natsuki and Shizuru behind her, both of their hearts lifted from the darkness that just weeks ago had threatened to consume them both. Their healing had begun.


	20. Chapter 20

_You're almost there._

Shizuru tried to balance herself on the bars while moving her feet forward, but was finding it awkward as her legs couldn't yet support very much weight. Her arms grew tired and she fell to one side, Natsuki was at her side in an instant to help her. Shizuru shook her head, she needed to do this herself. She pushed herself forward one more step before she gave out and fell to one side. Natsuki was there to catch her and help her back to the wheelchair.

"Don't push too hard, Shizuru. You're going to hurt yourself."

She had been in physical therapy for over a year and was looking better for it. She had regained all of the weight she had lost during her coma and had returned to her old figure. As a side effect, Natsuki had put on a little more weight than before and, to spite Shizuru's assertions otherwise, she was self-conscious about it. After six months of therapy she was able to move around a lot better, gaining most of her former strength back in everything but her legs. Those were still weak, but she had been working hard on trying to walk and it was paying off.

Shizuru laid her head back in the wheelchair and sighed. "I'm so close, Natsuki."

"I know, but I still want you to be careful." She leaned over the chair and kissed her girlfriend on the cheek. "I spent enough time without you, I don't want to spend any more."

Natsuki wheeled Shizuru towards Trudy, who was working with another patient on restoring motion to his fingers. "Trudy, I think I'm done for today."

Trudy didn't turn her eyes away from her patient, but somehow paid attention to Shizuru. "So soon, but it looked like you were close to a breakthrough." Natsuki patted her pockets down and realized she had forgotten her wallet and walked out to the car to get it. Trudy turned to look at Shizuru. "You've been working really hard lately. Is there any particular reason why?"

"There is." Shizuru had been working harder for the past month with a particular goal in mind. "Natsuki's birthday is next month and I had this vision in my head of inviting her out to dinner and walking up to the table with her. I thought it would be romantic, but I'm just not strong enough yet."

"That does sound romantic. If there's anything I can do to help you, just ask."

"You've already done so much for us, I couldn't ask you to do more. This is something I need to do on my own."

Natsuki returned from the car and took the handles of Shizuru's wheelchair. "Are you ready to go, sweetheart? I'm pretty hungry and I thought we could try the sandwich shop next door."

"Sure, honey."

Trudy waved goodbye and Natsuki wheeled Shizuru out of the physical therapy center and to the sandwich shop next door. Shizuru ordered a six inch turkey sub as she had gained all the weight she had wanted to and was trying to eat better. Natsuki, on the other hand, ordered a twelve inch sub with extra meat and cheese. She felt the look from Shizuru. "What? I told you I was hungry."

Shizuru smiled at her. "Nothing, honey."

"Don't give me that, I could feel your look."

Natsuki smiled back, handed Shizuru both sandwiches and pulled a chair out for her so her wheelchair would sit at the table. She filled both of their drinks at the fountain then sat down across from her. She unwrapped her sandwich and tore into it with fervor. Shizuru smirked while she opened her own sandwich and laughed at how quickly Natsuki always ate. "It's not going anywhere, Natsuki. You can take your time."

"I told you I was hungry."

They ate together quietly, both of them enjoying the time they got to spend together. Natsuki had just finished her sandwich when she heard a familiar name over the TV in the corner. "Look, Shizuru, you're on TV."

-IPR-

Three weeks prior to it's airing, Chie Harada, a reporter for the local new channel 25, was looking for a good human interest piece to round out a segment she had spearheaded called, 'The Human Condition', when she came upon reports of a near fatal car accident and the young woman who had awakened after six months in a coma. Seeing the opportunity she had been looking for she grabbed her briefcase, making sure she had her recording camera and a tripod for it, and took off for the woman's house.

When she pulled up she noticed that the front yard of the house seemed to be meticulously cared for and that the house showed no signs of disrepair. She walked up the sidewalk and knocked heavily on the door. The door opened to reveal a woman in her late teens with long dark blue hair and wearing a red and white polka dotted apron. "Hello? Do you need something?"

The woman's eyes bored into her, as if trying to read her mind, but Chie kept her composure, as a journalist she was used to dealing with such hostility from people. "Sorry if I'm interrupting something, my name is Chie Harada and I'm a reporter with Channel 25 news." The woman's expression didn't change and Chie had to fight to keep herself steady under that steely gaze. "Is there a Shizuru Viola living here?"

The woman crossed her arms. _Did I hit a nerve. Maybe I read it wrong and she passed away, and now I've brought up something painful for this woman._

"What do you want with Shizuru?"

_That was close. _

"I would like to speak to her about doing a piece about her for the evening news. I think the viewers in this city would appreciate hearing her story of survival."

For a moment the woman didn't move, didn't respond at all to her inquiry. Just when she started to think she would be rebuffed, she uncrossed her arms and stepped back into the house. "She's in the living room."

"I didn't get your name, Ms..."

She held out my hand for her to shake and was surprised by the strong handshake she recieved in return. "Natsuki. Natsuki Kuga."

"It's a pleasure to meet you."

She walked through the house, a bit surprised by it's untidiness considering the well manicured lawn, and took a door to the right that led to the living room where a woman with long brown hair looked up at me from her wheelchair and smiled a charming smile. Her ruby eyes were full of mirth when she asked, "Hello? Have we met before?"

"We haven't, my name is Chie Harada and I'm a reporter with Channel 25 news."She could feel more than hear the other woman enter the room and stand behind her, she felt a bit pressured but remained stoic. "I was hoping to get an interview with you about your recent ordeal for a segment on the evening news."

Natsuki shook her head, obviously against the segment, but Shizuru smiled and put her hands together. "I think that's a great idea. Natsuki, will you bring us some tea, please?"

Natsuki nodded and left the room towards the kitchen. Chie started to unpack and set up her tripod in front of the wheelchair. "She seems a but gruff. Is she your caretaker?"

"Well, she does take care of me."

Chie finished setting up the tripod and had adjusted the camera when Natsuki walked in with three cups of tea on a tray and set them down on a nearby table. She handed Chie one and gave one to Shizuru, kissing her on the cheek before taking her own in hand. Chie smiled. _So it's like that, is it?_

Chie pulled one of the loose chairs in the room over to sit in front of Shizuru and turned the camera on. "First let me ask you for your name and what you do for a living."

"My name is Shizuru Viola and I'm a pre-law student."

"Pre-law, very nice. So, if you could tell me in your own words, what happened the night of the accident?"

Shizuru turned thoughtful, her brow scrunched up and Natsuki looked worried. "I don't remember anything about that day. It's a complete blank to me, like it didn't even happen."

"What was it like, being in that coma for over six months?"

"Honestly, I don't remember any of that either. When I came to everyone told me that I had been in that bed for six months, but I didn't feel any of it. Like time had no meaning for me."

"I must say, you look very healthy. How has your recovery been?"

"Long, really long. But, thanks to the best girlfriend in the world," the camera caught Natsuki's hand taking Shizuru's, "I've stuck with it and am now getting closer to walking again."

Chie reached around behind the camera and turned it to face Nafsuki. "Now, if I may ask you some questions? What is your name and occupation?"

"Natsuki Kuga, and I'm studying to be a motorcycle mechanic."

"How long have you and Shizuru been together?"

"Going on six years, now. We've been together since high school."

"That's a long time. So tell me, what was it like being by her side during this trying time?"

Natsuki looked down, away from the camera, and her voice grew somewhat listless and distant. "It was...the most painful experience of my life. Getting to see her, talk to her, hold her hand, but knowing that she couldn't see or hear me was traumatizing. I blamed myself, I cried every night and had a nervous breakdown. After that my mother sent me to a therapist, and that helped, but watching her waste away was heart teaming. I felt so helpless."

Natsuki's eyes watered and Shizuru held her hand tightly. This was the first time for her to hear this story and her eyes watered at what her love had gone through. She stroked the back of her hand tenderly. "I'm sorry, Natsuki. I didn't know you went through all that."

Natsuki looked up into Shizuru's eyes and they locked. "What else could I do?"

The raw emotion in the room nearly moved Chie to tears, but she was an experienced journalist and kept herself composed while the camera was on. She turned to face it. "Wow, such powerful emotion. The story of their love is truly a testament to the human spirit and how much we can endure for one we love. With 'The Human Condition, this has been Chie Harada."

She switched off the camera and turned around to find Natsuki and Shizuru in a tight embrace. She wiped tears from the corners of her eyes and stood. "I think I have what I need. I have a few release forms that I'll need you both to sign. Standard stuff saying that I can release footage of you and your story on live TV."

She reached into her bag and pulled out the forms, taking them to the coffee table where Natsuki and Shizuru signed away the rights to their story. "Alright, I'll take this to editing and, fingers crossed, it should and within a few weeks." She packed up her gear and the forms then shook Shizuru's hand. "You've been through a lot, Shizuru, but the worst is over now." She shook Natsuki's hand. "I don't know if I could have waited, but I know it took a lot of character to do it. You're a better person than I am, Natsuki." She left the front door feeling good about the story she was going to tell."

-IPR-

For two weeks after the segment aired, Shizuru doubled and re-doubled her efforts to walk, going to physical therapy every day and pushing herself to the limit. Natsuki grew worried and monitored her closely to keep her from going too far and hurting herself. She didn't know what had motivated Shizuru, but attributed it to spending over a year in a wheelchair. _It would be enough to drive me crazy._

Two days before her birthday, Natsuki dropped Shizuru off at the clinic and promised to pick her up after her class was out. Shizuru wheeled herself into the building and met with Trudy, who was just finishing up with another patient. "Back again, Shizuru. You're really serious about this."

"Today's the day, Trudy. I can feel it."

Trudy helped her through her warm-up exercises before taking her over to the bars. Shizuru lifted herself up easily onto them as she had gotten used to it over time. She slowly started to let go, resting more of her weight on her legs. She started to shuffle forward, one awkward step at a time, letting more and more of her weight rest on her legs until, to her amazement, she was barely holding on to the bars at all.

On her second go around across the bars, she completely let go of them, her gait was awkward at first and she had trouble finding her balance, but she was walking on her own. Her smile must have been infectious because Trudy was smiling brightly at her. She started clapping and in seconds had the entire clinic clapping for Shizuru as she managed to walk back to her chair before collapsing in exhaustion. Her legs hurt but she had walked again. The feeling was indescribable.

Trudy approached the chair and knelt down beside it. "Wow. You really did it. Natsuki is going to be ecstatic when she hears this."

Shizuru caught her breath. "Just don't tell her yet. I want it to be a surprise."

Trudy didn't mention it and she held the surprise for two days until Natsuki's birthday. As soon as Natsuki had left for her class that afternoon Shizuru began her own preparations. She started by cooking her a birthday dinner, composed of some of Natsuki's favorite foods, while leaning against the counter for support. After two days of walking she had become stronger, but tired quickly so she used anything around to help hold herself up.

After she was done cooking she practically covered their dining room table in candles and food, changed into one of her nicest dresses and turned off all of the lights in the house. After she was finished she sat at the table and waited. She didn't wait long.

The door opened and Natsuki noticed that everything had been turned off. She found this odd so she called out for Shizuru who answered, "I'm in the dining room." Natsuki entered the dining room and found the candlelight dinner that Shizuru had prepared. Shizuru stood up from the chair she sat in and took two steps towards her. "Hi."

Natsuki's jaw dropped, both at the dinner so lovingly prepared for her and at Shizuru standing on her own. Her smile threatened to leave her face. "Hi, bella."

Shizuru wavered and Natsuki was there in an instant, wrapping her up in a hug and helping her to her feet. "Happy birthday."

"When did you start walking again?"

"Just a few days ago, I wanted to surprise you."

"You did." Natsuki kissed her passionately and it took them both back to a time before the accident, when they were just two women in love. Natsuki surveyed the table. "You made all this for me?"

"Yes," Shizuru leaned close and whispered seductively, "and you have to eat all of it before I give you your present."

Natsuki cracked her knuckles and grabbed a fork. "Then I had better get started."

-IPR-

That night they slept in each other's arms after enjoying Natsuki's birthday present. Shizuru tossed and turned before finally bolting upright and shouting, holding her head in her hands. Natsuki was awake and holding her in an instant. "What's wrong, baby?"

"I remember...everything. The restaurant, I'm talking to Haruka and Yukino...then Yukino leaves so I drive Haruka home and the truck in front of me skids and I swerve. Then the tree and darkness."

Natsuki held her close until the pain subsided and Shizuru lay back down on the bed. "I remember dreaming, but I don't remember the dream. Only that I could feel you around me, and I could hear you tell me you loved me every day." Shizuru looked Natsuki in the eyes. "You were there with me everyday, weren't you?"

"Of course." Natsuki squeezed her arms around Shizuru and pressed her forehead against hers. "I promised."

**So ends I Promised, my fourth completed fanfiction and one of the most popular that I've written. Thank you to everyone who read my work and to everyone who reviewed, especially those that helped me improve the story. Stay tuned for another ShizNat fanfiction titled Taking Over Me - White Wolf Whispers, hopefully coming soon.**


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